Ask Dr. Format: THE TELEPHONE VOICE

DAVE TROTTIER has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business.  He is an award-winning teacher and script consultant, author of The Screenwriter’s Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com.  Read more tips on the Ask Dr. Format page.

Dr. Format

THE TELEPHONE VOICE

QUESTION

I was once told that the use of (O.S.) for a character on the phone is incorrect when writing a spec script. I was told to use this instead:

                      MITCH (on phone)
        What are you doing?

                      JANICE (O.S., ON PHONE)
        Oh...just painting my toe nails.

ANSWER

You’ve been misinformed. The use of (O.S.) is incorrect because (O.S.) stands for OFF SCREEN, meaning that the character is in the scene (at the scene location), but cannot be seen on the silver screen. When a character is not at the scene location, then use (V.O.) for VOICE OVER, and that's the case for a voice coming through a phone.

In the case of your example, I assume that we can see Mitch, but that Janice is at some other location and that we hear her voice but don't see her. In that case, this would be correct:

Mitch holds the phone with one hand while the other hand clips his toenails.

                      MITCH
        What are you doing?

                      JANICE (V.O.)
        Oh...just painting my toe nails.

Concerning the phrase "on phone," it would work fine if we knew for sure what it meant. To some it means that the character is holding a phone to her ear. To others it means that the character's speech is voiced over. Since there can be confusion, I don't recommend you use it.

THIS STUFFING MAKES YOU A TURKEY

QUESTION

I have a question about the "script cardstock cover" and "title page" when sending a script to agents and producers. I have heard conflicting issues that the cardstock cover should remain blank, followed by the one-page synopsis, followed by the title page. What is the correct format for professional presentation?

ANSWER

Blank cover stock, followed by the title page, followed by the script, followed by blank cover stock. That’s it, unless an agent or producer specifically requests something else. Of course, these days, most scripts are sent as PDF files electronically.

May I mention a pet peeve while we’re on the subject? Please, please, pretty please, do not package your script with a padded envelope filled with stuffing that flies all over Kingdom Come when the envelope is opened. Sending your script in one of those will knock the stuffing out of that good first impression you want to make. If you want to use a padded envelope, use a bubble pack…and keep writing.