Ask Dr. Format

DAVE TROTTIER has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business.  He is an award-winning teacher and script consultant, author of The Screenwriter’s Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com.

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MARCH 2024

OPPENHEIMER

QUESTION

Read the script Oppenheimer and explain to us what Christopher Nolan was trying to do with his first-person action descriptions.

ANSWER

The script is a shooting script written by the director for the director. He is also an established force in the industry. For all those reasons, Nolan doesn’t have to please anyone or abide by any spec formatting guidelines.

By “first person,” I assume you refer to the many uses of WE as in WE SEE, WE HEAR, WE FOLLOW, WE STAY. Let’s tackle that in the next section.

“WE”

QUESTION

How does the industry feel about the use of WE in scripts? I love Eric Roth scripts.

ANSWER

Many have no problem at all. And even in a spec script, there are times when it may be the best way to express an action. I suggest you use it sparingly if you use it all; I don’t think anyone will complain. However, keep the following in mind as you make your writing decision.

WE is first person. Scripts are written in third person. In addition, Eric Roth scripts are shooting scripts. It’s hard to get your hands on a spec script. Finally, the use of WE is usually a camera direction, which is something we generally like to avoid. Even so, it may work when there is an overriding dramatic reason for it. There’s no rule against it, but be wise and judicious in its use.

DID INDY JONES MIS-DIAL?

QUESTION

I didn’t like the ending of the recent Indiana Jones movie? What are your thoughts?

ANSWER

I’m sure you’ve read that The Dial of Destiny flopped or at least did not perform up to expectations. There are a variety of reasons for that, most of which are out of the writer’s hands. Let’s look at just one reason that is in the writer’s hands and derive a useful lesson doing our A-B-C’s. (Warning: spoiler alert.)

A. This is the fifth movie in the esteemed franchise. What is one reason most people wanted to view this film? To see Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) do Indy things (like race a horse through a parade) and save the day at the end.

B. What is a key character and story maxim for the final (third) act of any movie? The central character (protagonist) should be the most active character in the final act with rare exception.

C. Who is the most active character in the final act of The Dial of Destiny? Helena, Indy’s goddaughter. She’s a wonderful character, but I’m betting most fans would prefer to see Indy chase down that plane and jump onto the landing gear. Helena takes over the movie at the end to the point that she punches out Indy’s lights and brings him home. It’s a nice twist, but perhaps not as fulfilling as seeing Indiana Jones save the day just one last time.

Good luck and keep writing!

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FEBRUARY 2024

OVERLAPPING THE ACTION

QUESTION

I’m writing an action sequence – cops come in the front while a fight takes place inside. Do I tell the reader that the “action overlaps”?

ANSWER

No. Just write the action as it happens. If one action takes place at the same time as another action, then use “SAME” in your second scene heading. Note the example above in the previous section and the example below.

EXT. BAR – NIGHT

The cops barge through the front door.

INT. BAR – SAME

Jim throws a chair over Chuck’s head.

FREEZING THE ACTION

QUESTION

I am uncertain of how to use the FREEZE FRAME in my script. Is the following correct:

Tobias punches Roman, who falls to the floor. He grabs Roman’s scarf.

FREEZE FRAME:

Tobias wraps it around Roman’s neck.

                              TOBIAS (V.O.)
                  Stop. Let’s go back to how this
                  all began.

ANSWER

You have the right idea, but you cannot describe action after you freeze the action. Describe the action you want to freeze on, and then freeze it. In addition, omit the colon after the words “FREEZE FRAME.” For example:

He grabs Roman’s scarf and wraps it around his neck.

FREEZE FRAME

Then go ahead with your voiced-over speech and keep writing.

 

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JANUARY 2024

HOW LONG IS TOO LONG?

QUESTION

How long should a [spec] screenplay be?

ANSWER

About 100-110 pages, but certainly not more than 120 pages.  Ideally, a comedy will come in at about 100 pages and a drama or action story at 105-110.  The minimum is 90.

You may wonder why the 120-page limit when you've seen produced screenplays that are much longer than that.  In virtually every case, those long screenplays were both shooting scripts and were developed within the system; they were not spec screenplays.

The central theme that runs through this issue's column is to make your spec screenplay an "easy but fascinating read."

FIRST PERSON/THIRD PERSON

QUESTION

In the screenplay I am working on, I have a sequence where the camera is the character's eye.  During this sequence, the story is told in first person.  I would be interesting in knowing how to insert this sequence into a screenplay written in third person without [using] technical intrusions.

ANSWER

When you say the "story is told in first person," I assume you mean that the character (whose eye is the camera) talks to or describes what he/she is sees.  Thus, that character's viewpoint dominates in that scene.  However, the narrative description would still be written in third person.  Narrative description is always written in third person, present tense language.  (First person would involve the use of the pronouns "I" or "me."  Second person would use "you."  And third person would use "he," "she," "they," and so on.)  The fact that the eye is the camera changes nothing in terms of how you write description and dialogue.

That leaves the issue of communicating to the reader that the "camera is the character's eye."  I assume that you mean that the camera takes the point-of-view of the character--what he/she sees, we see.  You are right to want to write this without the camera directions, if possible.  In cases like this, we are all tempted to write something like the following:

POV JANE -- A man walks towards her.

If your character (let’s call him Zep) speaks while we see the flashback, then use the voice over (V.O.) extension.

You can (and should) write the same thing without the camera direction, as follows:

Jane sees a man walking towards her.

S-S-STUTTERING AND D-D-DIALECTING

QUESTION

I am writing a screenplay where the main character stutters almost all the time.  How should I indicate that in the dialogue?  I find it annoying to indicate it in parenthesis before every line of dialogue, so I came up with something like the following:

                              ZEP (V.O.)
                  W-what?  I-I d-don't understand.

Do you have any suggestions?

ANSWER

Just show a flavor of stuttering; that is, occasional stuttering to remind us that this character stutters.  Don't overdo it or, as you rightly said, the reader will be annoyed.  Also, when you first introduce the character, indicate that he/she stutters. The same holds true for accents and dialects--just give us a flavor.  Don't adjust the spelling of every word to show precisely how each and every word would be pronounced in a certain dialect or with a certain accent.  It will be too difficult to read. .

In THE KING’S SPEECH, the following paragraph appears in narrative description:

(For ease of reading, Bertie’s stammer will not be indicated from this point in the script.)

Good luck and keep writing!

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DECEMBER 2023

INTERCUTTING THE ACTION

QUESTION

In my screenplay I have two scenes that take place at the same time but at different locations, and I switch back and forth between settings. Should I just keep switching back and forth between the locations, or should I type the following:

INTERCUT BETWEEN FOOTBALL FIELD AND HOSPITAL ROOM

ANSWER

The INTERCUT is usually used for phone conversations. You can use the INTERCUT for action, but only if you’re sure the reader will not get confused as to where a specific action is taking place. The following is correct format:

INTERCUT – FOOTBALL FIELD/HOSPITAL ROOM

The players huddle on the field.

Surgeons huddle around the operating table.

If you want to intercut between quick shots, consider using the MONTAGE instead. That way, you can easily highlight the locations:

MONTAGE – FOOTBALL GAME/SURGERY

-- FOOTBALL FIELD – The players huddle on the field.

-- HOSPITAL ROOM – Surgeons huddle around the operating table.

If you wish, you can use scene headings in that MONTAGE:

MONTAGE – FOOTBALL GAME/SURGERY

-- INT. FOOTBALL FIELD – The players huddle on the field.

-- INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – Surgeons huddle around the operating table.

If neither the MONTAGE nor the INTERCUT seem appropriate, just cross-cut between scene headings:

EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD – DAY

The players huddle on the field.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – SAME

Surgeons huddle around the operating table.

Good luck and keep writing!

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NOVEMBER 2023

TWO KINDS OF FLASHBACKS

QUESTION

Are there any special format rules for writing a flashback?

ANSWER

Since the FLASHBACK is often abused by beginning writers, make sure that your use of it pays off dramatically.

In terms of formatting, there are numerous correct methods. The overriding principle is to be clear. I will highlight the two main methods, one for flashbacks of one scene, and the second for flashbacks of more than one scene.

Method 1

In the example below designed for flashbacks of just one scene, we label the flashback like we would a montage, with the concept of the flashback in the flashback scene heading.

FLASHBACK – TRAIN ACCIDENT

Barry sees the train speeding toward him and leaps from the tracks, but his foot catches on a rail tie.

BACK TO PRESENT DAY

Thus, the scene begins in the hospital (INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY) and then a character at the hospital recalled the past, giving rise to the FLASHBACK, and then we returned to that character at the hospital room (BACK TO THE HOSPITAL ROOM).

Method 2

Given the same situation as above, let’s assume that the flashback is more than one scene. Although there are many correct ways to handle this situation, the following is what I suggest:

BEGIN FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS – NIGHT

Barry sees the train speeding toward him.

INT. LOCOMOTIVE

The engineer sees Barry and pulls the brakes.

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS

Barry leaps from the tracks, but his foot catches on a rail tie.

END FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

INT. HOSPITAL – CONTINUOUS

And then keep writing!

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OCTOBER 2023

WHAT’S YOUR POV?

QUESTION

I have in mind a scene whereby what is envisioned by the reader (and viewed by the cinema audience) would be Black & White video feed (live or recorded) from a covert security camera.

For example:

INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT

Black and white POV of the secret agent dialing the safe's combination

I had previously read that for a spec script, "POV" could be considered a camera direction and, therefore, should not be used. Suggestions on a way to write the above?

ANSWER

Sometimes a POV can be used, but usually you can avoid it. For example, rather than:

JOHN’S POV – The monster licks his chops.

You can write:

John sees the monster lick his chops.

That has to be a POV shot, and it’s a bit more readable. In the original Raiders of the Lost Arc script, the writer uses the following device:

What Indy sees: A snake crawls towards him.

That’s a POV shot. In addition, keep in mind that CAPS are a little hard on the eyes of readers that read tons of scripts. However, if you use POV once or twice in your screenplay, no one is going to scream or slit their wrists. Relax.

Concerning your specific example, it seems to me that it could be handled as a separate scene.

INT. FBI OFFICE - DAY

John plays the video.

ON THE MONITOR – BLACK & WHITE

In a basement, the secret agent dials the safe’s combination.

BACK TO FBI OFFICE

If you want that to be a live video stream, you could write, “John watches the live video stream.” Here’s another method for handling this.

INT. FBI OFFICE - DAY

John plays the video.

INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT – BLACK & WHITE

The secret agent dials the safe’s combination.

Then keyboard in another master scene heading and keep writing!

 

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SEPTEMBER 2023

QUICK FLASHES—SITUATION #1

QUESTION

How do you handle a series of quick flashbacks?

ANSWER

Use the same format that you would use for MONTAGE. Here’s an example:

QUICK FLASHES – DUKE’S BASEBALL MEMORIES

-- Duke slides home safe. Jubilant teammates scramble to congratulate him.

-- Duke, playing shortstop, snags a hot grounder, and tosses the man out at first.

-- Duke swings at a fast ball and watches it sail over the left-field fence.

BACK TO SCENE

If you have just one quick flashback, use the following format:

QUICK FLASHBACK

Duke strikes out.

BACK TO SCENE

QUICK FLASHES—SITUATION #2

QUESTION

I have a series of quick flashbacks at the end of a script that reference a character’s memories of three different people. Do I create three flashback headings, one for each flashback?

ANSWER

You could, but I recommend you use my answer to Situation #1 above as your guide and create a MONTAGE of QUICK FLASHES.

Another option is to create an EPILOGUE at the very end of the script; for example

EPILOGUE

-- Image of first Joe pranking someone.

                              ALBERT (V.O.)
                    Joe was always a jokester.

And so on for the other two characters.

Good luck and keep writing.

 

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AUGUST 2023

INSIDE OR OUTSIDE—SITUATION #1

QUESTION

I have a question about the INT. [Interior] and EXT. [Exterior] in a car scene. Which should I use if there’s action in the car interior, but we also need to know what’s happening outside the car.

ANSWER

There’s a half dozen ways to handle this depending on your dramatic purpose for the scene. I’ll illustrate just two approaches.

One method is to establish the exterior location and action first, and then cut to the car. For example:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – DAY

Cows line the road wearing menacing expressions.

INT. CAR

Joe cautiously rolls up his window.

That was inspired by a comic from Gary Larson’s The Far Side. :)

Another method is to simply use Exterior and Interior together as follows:

EXT./INT. CAR – DAY

That informs the reader that the camera can be anywhere the director wants it—inside or outside the car.

INSIDE OR OUTSIDE—SITUATION #2

QUESTION

How do you write out scenes that take place in three different locations? I have three characters, two of which are at outside locations and one is in his bedroom talking on the phone. Do I write down INT. and EXT. every time I go to another location?

ANSWER

If these three locations are in three separate places—for example, Jim’s bathroom, a public park, and a city street—then you will need a new master scene heading (including the INT. or EXT.) each time you go to a new location.

However, if these three locations are all part of a master (primary) location, you could establish a master scene heading and follow it with secondary headings. Assuming the master location is Jim’s house, we can first establish that master location and then cut to secondary locations that are part of the master location, as follows:

EXT./INT. JIM’S HOUSE – NIGHT

ON THE BACK PATIO

Selma jimmies open the patio door.

IN THE BACKYARD

Lonnie opens a back window and nods to Selma.

IN JIM’S BEDROOM

Jim talks on the phone.

If you use the above method, make sure you don’t lose the reader. In other words, the reader should always know if he/she is outside or inside.

Whether you are inside or outside, keep writing!

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JULY 2023

COOL CAT DIALOGUE

QUESTION

I was curious as to how you could specify in a script that animals can talk to each other but humans generally do not understand; for example, in a movie like Garfield where the cat talks but humans don’t hear him talking.

ANSWER

The example below “speaks” for itself:

Garfield speaks, but the humans can’t hear him.

                                GARFIELD
              Humans are dumb.

Once you establish that humans can’t hear animals, you don’t have to continually repeat it throughout your script, but you may wish to casually remind us once or twice more.

POLITICALLY CORRECT NARRATIVE

QUESTION

I’m stumped about an issue in my screenplay which deals with racial discrimination in Harlem during the 1930s and 1940s.  What is the correct way to address folks now called African-Americans if the story took place before that term was used?  Obviously, the term used in my source material is Negro, but modern usage dictates either Black or African-American.  I want to be true to the spirit of the times, but I also don’t want to use terminology that is offensive.  How would you handle that in a screenplay?

ANSWER

Use modern terms in your narrative description (action) and period terms in your dialogue.

CHARACTERS WITH AN ALIAS

QUESTION

In my script, my heroine travels under an alias.  In prior drafts, I used the following:  JANE CAMERON/VALENTINA DE MARIA.  This is a bit clumsy, so I am considering a note; for example:
 
NOTE: From this point forward, JANE CAMERON will use the name VALENTINA DE MARIA.
 
What do you think?

ANSWER

The note is a possible solution, but it still might be easy for a reader to get confused.  I suggest that you use JANE as her name in the character cue (character name in the dialogue block), and then when she is impersonating, write JANE AS VALENTINA or JANE/VALENTINA.   And then keep writing!

 

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June 2023

LOST IN TRANSLATION

QUESTION

While dealing with one-on-one translations in a scene (in my case, the protagonist asks another character to translate what he says to another character in Chinese), should I write duplicate dialogue for the translator, like this:

                                CHUCK
              Hey, brother...

                                SIU-MING
                        (in Chinese)
              Hey brother....

ANSWER

The above seems redundant. In addition, if you use that method, an entire conversation can take up a lot of space. Try the following strategy.

                                CHUCK
              Hey, brother...

Siu-Ming translates into Chinese.

Let’s turn this around and assume someone (Ja-kee Chan) is speaking to Chuck and Sui-Ling is translating.

Ja-kee Chan speaks to Chuck in Chinese. Sui-Ling translates.

                                SUI-LING
              He say, Hey brother.

HANDLING COOKIE REQUESTS

QUESTION

I have a question about the following example:

Bob takes a cookie and eats it. Junior opens his mouth and points -- ME TOO.

In the above, I’m trying to highlight and clarify the action of him pointing. Does it work?

ANSWER

You can probably get away with that, but it may not read clearly to some readers. In addition, you would not place “Me too” in all-CAPS. Perhaps the following represents a cleaner approach:

Bob takes a cookie and eats it. Junior points to his open mouth.

Here’s another possibility:

Bob takes a cookie and eats it. Junior tugs at Bob’s shirt and mouths “Me, too?”

This goes back to the old rule for description, "Describe what we see." Good luck and keep writing!

 

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May 2023

FLUFFY SPEAKS AT LAST

QUESTION

My story features an adult male who takes Angel, a six-year-old girl, to Fun Park. At the park, she holds up a stuffed animal and changes her voice to speak for the stuffed animal. How do I differentiate between the two voices?

ANSWER

When Angel is speaking as herself, put the name ANGEL in the character cue, and when she speaks as the stuffed animal (which we will call Fluffy), put ANGEL AS FLUFFY in the character cue. Let’s assume in the following example that the adult male is Angel’s dad and that Angel plays a little joke on him.

                                ANGEL
              I wanna go home.

She looks at Fluffy and changes her voice.

                                ANGEL AS FLUFFY
              Me, too.

                                DAD
              Are you talking to me?

                                ANGEL
                        (to fluffy)
              Who’s that?

                                ANGEL AS FLUFFY
              I dunno, but we shouldn’t talk to
              strangers.

ELLIPSICAL ALLUSION

QUESTION

Do you space before an ellipsis and also after an ellipsis, or is there no spacing before and after?

ANSWER

Do not space before an ellipsis but do space after. This “rule” of a space after the ellipsis only applies to screenwriting. (In other forms of writing, there is not a space before or after the ellipsis.)

Since we are on the subject, an ellipsis is usually used in dialogue to show continuity, a pause, or a character trailing off, as Marlene does in the example below

.                                MARLENE
              I’m not sure... well, I think
              know... what you mean. You
              think I’m a....

An introspective expression comes over Marlene’s face.

A dash is normally used to show interruption. Good luck and keep writing!

 

 

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April 2023

TRACKING BOB

QUESTION

What do you do when you have a character walking from one area to the next, say a kitchen into a hallway? Is the following format correct?

INT. HOUSE/KITCHEN - DAY

The phone rings. Vicki continues to drink. Bob rushes to answer the phone.

INT. KITCHEN/HALLWAY - TRACKING

Bob pounces on the phone.

ANSWER

When you present two locations in one scene heading, list the larger (or master) location first (which you do) and separate them with a dash (which you don’t). Also, omit the camera direction (TRACKING). There are several ways you can handle this. I’ll present just three.

Method #1:

INT. HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

The phone rings. Vicki continues to drink, but Bob rushes into the

HALLWAY

and pounces on the phone.

Method #2:

INT. HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

The phone rings. Vicki continues to drink. Bob darts away from her.

HALLWAY

Bob races in and pounces on the phone.

Method #3:

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

The phone rings. Vicki continues to drink. Bob darts away from her.

INT. HALLWAY

Bob races in and pounces on the phone.

Normally, you would write CONTINOUS after HALLWAY, but we don’t need to because it’s already obvious that the scene follows the previous scene CONTINOUSLY.

Good luck and keep writing!

 

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March 2023

THE CAT'S PAJAMAS

QUESTION

When an animal utters its natural sounds, how do I indicate English subtitles? My specific example is for a cat that is meowing to a person, with the English translation appearing as subtitles.

My best guess would be something like the following where TABBY is a cat and BOB is a person.

                       BOB
          What do you want?

Tabby MEOWS adamantly.

SUBTITLE reads:

"Where are my pajamas?"

END OF SUBTITLES

ANSWER

You could do that, but I suggest you handle it like a foreign language:

                       BOB
                  (meows; subtitled)
          Where are my pajamas?

If Tabby talks throughout the screenplay, then the constant addition of the parenthetical can be laborious. In such a case, I suggest a clarifying note when Tabby is first introduced. It could look something like this:

 

NOTE: When Tabby meows, subtitles will appear with the meaning of her words in English.

Perhaps a better option is to use a special extension for just this situation. In either case, the extension would look something like this:

                       TABBY (SUBTITLED)
          Where are my pajamas?

Let's pose another question that does not involve subtitles. What if a cat meows or a dog barks? These are sounds and should be written as narrative description and not as dialogue.

How about human screams? For example, I often see something like this:

                       BART
          Arhhfffff!

Since that is a sound and not a word, it should be written as narrative description. For example:

BART SCREAMS.

However, if you want to write out the scream for some comedic or dramatic reason, then please do so. No reader will scream.

Good luck and keep writing!

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February 2023

MY FAVORITE FORMATTING FLUB

QUESTION

What is the most common formatting error that you see?

ANSWER

Oh, that's easy—scene headings, sometimes called slug lines. As a script consultant, I often find myself saying while reading a script, "Where am I?" For example:

INT. CHRISTMAS DAY – DAY

"Christmas Day" is not a location. Where am I? Here's another goof.

EXT. SWAMP – DAY

Larry trudges out of the swamp.

BATHROOM

Larry washes his face at the sink.

How can a bathroom be part of a swamp, and how did we get from an exterior camera placement to an interior camera placement?

Begin a scene with a master scene heading, which names the master (or primary) location; for example, EXT. SMITH HOUSE - DAY. Other locations (such as BEDROOM or HALLWAY) that are part of the master location are called secondary locations; the resulting heading is called a secondary heading. In addition, it's okay to add a secondary location to a master (primary) location in a master scene heading. I'll illustrate all of these points below.

First, we'll begin with the master scene heading that includes a secondary location and then move to other secondary locations.

INT. SMITH HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

John slams the front door and races down the

HALLWAY

and into his

BEDROOM

where he dives on top of his bed and sobs.

The above is correct, but it could have just as easily been written like this, which is also correct:

EXT. SMITH HOUSE – DAY

LIVING ROOM

John slams the front door and races out.

HALLWAY

He runs past pictures of his family.

BEDROOM

He stumbles in and falls on his bed sobbing.

As you can see, any number of secondary headings can follow as long as the locations are part of the master (primary) location. Once we change the camera placement to an exterior location or to a location that is not part of the master location, we must create a new master scene heading.

The above could also have been written as one master scene heading and a paragraph.

If I may, I'll mention one other common formatting fumble—including description in the scene heading. To wit:

EXT. A WINDY NIGHT WITH A PALE MOON SHINING THROUGH TREES IN THE WOODS

That should actually be written as follows:

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

A pale moon shines through trees buffeted by a stiff wind.

Save the description for the description (action) sections of your script.

NIGHT AND DAY

QUESTION

I heard at a seminar that you no longer have to include DAY or NIGHT at the end of a scene heading. Is that so?

ANSWER

No. The reader really needs to know if it's night or day. I suspect that the seminar leader was referring to instances where the time is already clearly understood. For example, the following would be perfectly okay:

EXT. HOTEL – DAY

Lilith slithers into the hotel.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY

She glides up to the elevator.

Good luck and keep writing!

 

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January 2023

ARTISTIC DIFFERENCES

QUESTION

In the past, you have cautioned against defining certain particulars—a specific song, for instance—as they are areas that a director or producer might want control over, which is understandable. But are you saying that a good script could potentially be tossed over a minor artistic difference?

My real question is: wouldn't a potential producer at least attempt to talk to the screenwriter to see if he's amenable to changes in the script?

ANSWER

If it's a minor artistic difference, why include it? Why take a chance of giving a negative impression? If you don't control the rights to the piece of music, then you are asking the producer to not only buy the script but to buy the music rights as well. So, if you want a specific piece of music, make sure it's going to pay off dramatically.

Certainly, a script will not be tossed simply because of a couple of formatting errors or the inclusion of a musical reference. However, if enough little things add up to become distractions, then your script may not get the reading attention it deserves. Since there are so many scripts vying for attention, it pays to give yours a fighting chance.

Once your script is sold, feel free to discuss with the producer more of your vision for the eventual movie.

THE INDUSTRY STANDARD

QUESTION

Why is there so much confusion around the "industry standard" for formatting? And what is the "industry standard"? How important is it to adhere to it?

ANSWER

The industry standard consists of generally accepted formatting conventions for spec screenplays. It differs from the standard for shooting scripts. The difficulty lies in the fact that virtually every script available to read is a shooting script. It's hard to get your hands on a spec, which is why I included two successful spec scripts in my book Two Screenplays (https://keepwriting.com/tsc/2screenplays.htm).

When you finish that wonderful script and send it to the agent or producer who requests it, what does that agent or producer do? He or she does not read it, but instead hands it off to reader to write coverage. In that coverage, if the reader passes on your script, the producer or agent is very unlikely to read it. The reader is the gatekeeper, so what does he or she want as tribute?

A spec that is readable and entertaining without technical intrusions like camera directions, props in all-CAPS, and so on. That's why a spec is different. Good luck with yours and keep writing!

 

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December 2022

FISHING FOR A LOCATION

QUESTION

If a scene takes place on the deck of a small fishing boat, is the heading INT. or EXT. What if the scene is in the galley or down below?

ANSWER

If the camera is outside the boat, then use EXT for exterior. If the camera is inside the boat—in the galley, for example—then use INT for interior.

WHAT ABOUT OUTER SPACE?

QUESTION

What should a writer indicate for the time of day in the slug line [scene heading] when the time of day is not relevant? For example, if a scene takes place in space, such as on a spaceship, then the normal concepts of night and day do not apply. Similarly, a scene might take place in a subterranean cavern so deep that the time of day isn't relevant since no sunlight can reach it.

ANSWER

There are two schools of thought on this. One is that the time of day is, as you say, irrelevant. Thus, a scene heading might be written as follows:

EXT. OUTER SPACE

And certainly, that is all you need for that scene heading. Another school of thought holds that since people behave as if it is night or day (sleeping or working, for example), those terms should be used in INTERIOR scenes, such as inside the spaceship or cave. Usually, that "assumed" time of day would already be obvious to the reader, so I lean towards the first school of thought—they usually aren't needed. However, I don't see a problem writing DAY or NIGHT, where doing so would clarify the situation.

FAST AND SLOW MOTION

QUESTION

I am writing a comedy script and there is an action sequence which is about a page that I would like to be done in FAST MOTION. There are a few bits of dialogue in the mix of it, but I'm not sure how to go about formatting it.

ANSWER

Handle FAST MOTION exactly the way you do SLOW MOTION. If the speeded-up action takes place within a scene, then use the following special heading:

IN FAST MOTION

HOSPITAL ROOM

Mary chases John across the yard like a dog chases a squirrel. John scampers up a tree for safety.

BACK TO NORMAL TIME

                        MARY
                So that's where you've been
                hiding.

If the speeded-up action is a sequence containing several scenes, then handle it as follows:

BEGIN FAST MOTION SEQUENCE

EXT. BACK YARD - DAY

Write out the scene and the other scenes in the sequence, just as you would if they weren't written in fast motion. You can include dialogue just as you would for any scene; however, the reader will assume that the dialogue is also speeded-up, making the characters sound something like Alvin's Chipmunks. You can see how I avoided that in my example above; in that example, Mary says her line in "normal time."

After the last scene that is in FAST MOTION ends, write:

END FAST MOTION SEQUENCE

Good luck and keep writing!

 

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November 2022

SPLITTING THE SCREEN

QUESTION

How does one write a split screen in a spec?

ANSWER

Because the split screen device is a special heading (like the MONTAGE, FLASHBACK, or INTERCUT), there is more than one way to format it, and each way is simple and makes sense. I’ll use the beginning of the Kill Bill split screen scene and present four methods.

Method #1

Do you recall how to write an INTERCUT, which is another special heading? Here’s an example:

INTERCUT – HOSPITAL ROOM/HOSPITAL CORRIDOR

In the hospital room, the bride likes in unblinking comatose sleep.

Elle, in a nurse’s uniform, strides down the hospital corridor carrying a syringe on a tray.

Now, what if you want the INTERCUT to be a SPLIT SCREEN so that we see both things happening at the same time? Simply replace the word INTERCUT with SPLIT SCREEN:

SPLIT SCREEN – HOSPITAL ROOM/HOSPITAL CORRIDOR

Method #2

What if you want to be clearer about location to enhance the read? In that case, use secondary scene headings. By using secondary scene headings, you probably can use SPLIT SCREEN as the sole item in the scene heading, since it is also a technical direction. Thus, we have the following:

SPLIT SCREEN

HOSPITAL ROOM

The bride likes in unblinking comatose sleep.

HOSPITAL CORRIDOR

Elle, in a nurse’s uniform, strides down carrying a syringe on a tray.

Method #3

What if you want to be clearer about what’s on the left and what’s on the right? Do this:

SPLIT SCREEN

HOSPITAL ROOM (ON LEFT)

The bride likes in unblinking comatose sleep.

HOSPITAL CORRIDOR (ON RIGHT)

Elle, in a nurse’s uniform, strides down carrying a syringe on a tray.

Method #4

What if you are writing a shooting script, or simply do not want to use secondary scene headings? Then the following is one way to go:

SPLIT SCREEN

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM

The bride likes in unblinking comatose sleep.

EXT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR

Elle, in a nurse’s uniform, strides down carrying a syringe on a tray.

In the actual shooting script, Tarantino created two columns for the split screen, left and right.

Which method should you use? Use the method that is most consistent with what you want the split screen scene to accomplish. And keep writing!

 

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October 2022

BOLD AND ITALICS

QUESTION

Is it okay to use bold and italics when writing screenplays, or should everything be written normally without any emphasis?

ANSWER

First, I should mention that my response is for spec screenplays.

Let’s start with italics.

Use italics for words of dialogue that are not spoken. For example, when someone sings a song, the lyrics should be written in italics because they are not spoken words (the lyrics are sung rather than spoken).

Likewise, if you have a text conversation written in dialogue blocks, handle it like this:

                        JULIE (TEXT)
              I luv U.

You can even include the emojis.

It’s acceptable, but not necessary to write foreign words in italics.

There is no reason to use bold, although there is an acceptable fad of writing scene headings (slug lines) and special headings in bold and underscored.

 

LETTERS AND VOICE-OVERS

QUESTION

If a character writes something on a piece of paper, and the audience can hear the character’s voice saying the same words he is writing, how do I format that?

ANSWER

Just voice-over the words he is writing.

INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY

Ben sits at his desk and starts writing on a piece of paper.

                         BEN (V.O.)
             Dear Jerry. Let’s start an ice
             cream company with flavors that
             have unusual names.

Ben smiles dreamily and licks his lips.

Good luck, have some ice cream, and keep writing!

 

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September 2022

SEQUELS AND SUPERHEROES

QUESTION

If I wanted to write the sequel to a popular early ‘90s box office feature, how would I go about it?  Could I write it and shop it to the original producer to see if there is an interest?  Or do I have to obtain legal rights before I even begin writing?  Similarly, if I wanted to write the next big Marvel superhero feature, could I write it and then see if I can get a deal?

ANSWER

You can write anything you want.  The problems and legal issues enter when you try to sell it.  You would only be able to sell your script to the owners of the rights, and you would be in a weak negotiating position.  After all, you can only sell it to them. 
 
In addition, you should know that your completed script would not serve well as a sample of your writing ability because you did not create the characters from scratch.
 
For those reasons, it seldom makes sense to write a script that contains material and/or characters that you do not control the rights to.  As a general guideline, create your own original characters and write an original screenplay. 
 

TRUE STORIES AND ADAPTATIONS

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION TO THE ABOVE DISCUSSION

What about true stories and adaptations?

ANSWER

Without getting into a long legal discussion (which I am not qualified to lead), I'll focus on the marketing issues related to your question. 
 
If you do not control the rights to the true story or novel, then you are asking the producer to not only buy your script, but to also purchase the necessary rights to the original material.  If both the true story and your rendition of it via a screenplay are particularly strong, you may be able to make a deal.  After all, there are a few producers in the business of producing true stories, and they are well-equipped to handle the associated legal issues.
 
However, if you have optioned or purchased the rights to someone's true story or novel, then you are in a stronger negotiating position.  That's because you have a "package"; that is, a script plus the rights to the original material.
 
Keep in mind that if you decide to take the latter route that you could end up incurring some legal costs and right acquisition costs (even if you only pay for an option to the rights).  
 
It is nearly impossible to get the rights to national stories; the rights to those are immediately bought by established production companies.  Your best bet is a true story that most people are unaware of.
 
I see this as purely a business decision: do I write an original screenplay without any legal encumbrances, or do I believe enough in the marketability of the novel or true story to go ahead and write the script?  And if I believe in the material enough to write the script, do I try to sell the completed script without having acquired any rights, or do I spend the bucks for rights before writing the script in order to put myself in a stronger negotiating position once the script is completed?

ANOTHER FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

What if the true story is about me?

ANSWER

Then you own the rights to your story, although you don't own the rights of other participants.  Nevertheless, consider writing the script.  It will be therapeutic, plus the writing will likely flush your creative pipes so that you're better able to write other screenplays.  You might even be able to sell your completed script without securing any rights, and leave that task to the eventual producer.  Keep in mind that in all issues involving possible legal issues, it is usually wise to consult an intellectual property attorney (entertainment lawyer).  If you have an agent, your agent will guide you. 
 
My general advice is to keep writing your original screenplay and avoid legal issues.
 
NOTE: My books are all discounted right now.  See https://www.keepwriting.com/store.htm.

 

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August 2022

TEXTING IN THE MOVIES

QUESTION

How do I format a character receiving a text message in my script?

ANSWER

There are several methods depending on your dramatic purpose. I will give examples of the most common.

In the first example, Sharon texts Cynthia.

INT. SHARON’S ROOM – DAY

Sharon posts on her smart phone. The text message reads: “I’m engaged!”

It’s important to put quotation marks around anything in narrative description that you want the movie-going audience to see and read. If the text message is misspelled, show the misspelling. It’s okay to include an emoji. If you want to emphasize the message so that the reader doesn’t miss it, then you might use the following approach:

ON SHARON’S SMART PHONE SCREEN

Her text message reads:

                “I’m engaged! ♥”

BACK TO SCENE

Or:

BACK TO SHARON’S ROOM

As you can see, I indented the text message just I would dialogue. However, I could have written:

Her text message reads: “I’m engaged! ♥”

Handle email conversations in the same way. Here’s an example.

Sharon types an email on her laptop. The message reads: “I’m engaged!”

What if you have a long text message conversation? You can write that as dialogue, but italicize the text messages (since they are not the spoken word) and indicate TEXT adjacent to the character name, as follows:

                           SHARON (TEXT)
                 I’m engaged!

                           CYNTHIA (TEXT)
                 Congratulations!

As you can see, in formatting, there is often more than one way to present a situation, depending on your purpose and the amount of space you have. Use the method or methods that best suit you...and keep writing!

 

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July 2022

MY FORMATTING PET PEEVE

QUESTION

Dave, what is your formatting pet peeve?

ANSWER

Do not refer to a character as WOMAN on one page and then share her actual name (let's use JANE) a page later (or half-page later, or ten pages later) without a dramatic reason for doing so. The reader may guess that there are actually two different characters, a woman and Jane. Or, the reader may have to stop reading to figure things out or reread the original introduction. Make it easy on your reader and be clear; call your character Jane from the moment she first appears or speaks.

Likewise, if Jane speaks just before we see her, refer to her as JANE (not WOMAN or WOMAN'S VOICE) in the character cue. Here is an example.

Tarzan faces a pride of lions looking scared.

                                JANE (O.S.)
                    Hey, Big Guy.

Tarzan turns to see JANE, 25, a beauty wearing a leopard skin. She tosses him the end of a swinging vine and feigns a yawn.

 

ESTABLISHING SHOTS

QUESTION

Do I need to use an ESTABLSHING SHOT to establish a location??

ANSWER

Yes, if it is important to orient the audience.

However, do not use the term ESTABLISHING SHOT or type ESTABLISHING in parentheses after the scene heading. Just write the scene heading followed by some narrative description, as follows:

EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING – DAY

An old three-story brick building.

INT. SARAH'S APARTMENT – SAME

Or, you could replace "SAME" with "CONTINOUS" or just omit it. The main thing is to be—you guessed it!—clear.

Good luck and keep writing!

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June 2022

CLARITY VS. DRAMATIC PAYOFF

QUESTION

Is it okay to withhold information for dramatic purposes, or should you write with absolute clarity? For example, would you refer to a character as SHADOWY FIGURE and then later, at a dramatic moment, reveal that the SHADOWY FIGURE is actually BOB? Or should you call him BOB from the get-go?

ANSWER

When in doubt, opt for clarity. There are two reasons for this.

1. You can't afford to lose or confuse your reader who is not going to read your script carefully. Professional readers face piles of scripts every day and are paid next to nothing, so they tend to read quickly.
2. Professional readers will be able to see your dramatic intent, even though you've opted for clarity.

Therefore, your general guideline is to choose clarity and name the character BOB, but there may be exceptions in certain specific circumstances.

One possible exception might be where the “revelation” that the Shadowy Figure's identity follows immediately after the Shadowy Figure's first appearance. Here's an example:

EXT. ALLEY – NIGHT

Sandy hurries past a garbage bin. Suddenly, a SHADOWY FIGURE approaches her from the side.

                                SHADOWY FIGURE
                    Sandy!

Sandy nearly screams until she sees that the Shadowy Figure is actually Bob.

There's a dramatic payoff in that we initially believe the Shadowy Figure intends harm. If you want to be absolutely clear, just underscore the phrase “...the Shadowy Figure is actually Bob.”

(By the way, the above example assumes that we have seen Bob earlier in the script; thus, his name does not need to be placed in all-CAPS.)

Frankly, I would prefer the following treatment so that the correct name appears above a speech Bob makes:

Suddenly, a shadowy figure approaches her from the side.

                                BOB
                    Sandy!

Sandy nearly screams until she sees that the shadowy figure is actually Bob.

Now, let's look at a second possible exception to our general guideline: the revelation follows the character's introduction by several pages.

Potential problems arise when the first appearance of the Shadowy Figure precedes the revelation of the Shadowy Figure's identity by several pages or even dozens of pages. In such cases, it's usually best to choose clarity. Perhaps you could refer to the character as BOB AS SHADOWY FIGURE.

However, if you choose to keep the Shadowy Figure's identity a secret, then make sure that the revelation of the Shadowy Figure's identity pops out to the reader. For example, I would consider a separate paragraph that reads something like this:

The Shadowy Figure is Bob.

That dramatic strategy might be appropriate in movies like JAGGED EDGE where it is essential to keep the identity of the killer a secret until the end.

Incidentally, underscore key points in narrative description only rarely, maybe once or twice in a screenplay, if at all. Of course, the main thing is to be—you guessed it!—clear. Keep writing!

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May 2022

IT'S READY WHEN IT'S READY

QUESTION

When do you know when your script is ready to send somewhere? Is it always a guessing game? I've been published, but I've never sold a script, so I don't have the faintest idea.

ANSWER

Since you've been published, I might ask you, "When did you know your piece was ready to submit to be published?" That answer will help you with your script. Here are a couple of additional ideas.

For some screenwriters, it's the writer's "inner voice that knows" that tells them.

For many screenwriters, when they find themselves reviewing their script and only making a word change here and a word change there, they know that 1) they need to have their writers group or script consultant give them the go-ahead to market it, or 2) they can now begin to market it without the additional feedback.

A VICTORIAN NOTION

QUESTION

How would one format a scene that is in black and white or in a vintage style of photography that then cuts (in the following scene) to regular color photography? My opening scene is set in Victorian England, 1800s, and once the credits roll, it will pick up in modern times.

ANSWER

You could include a note after your first scene heading (slug line):

NOTE: This scene is in black and white.

Or, you could open your screenplay as follows:

FADE IN:

EXT. LONDON – DAY – BLACK & WHITE

A dirty, gray city.

SUPER: "LONDON, 1876"

At the very end of the scene, write:

NOTE: The remainder of the movie is in color.

Incidentally, don't refer to CREDITS in a spec screenplay.

Good luck and keep writing!

 

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April 2022

CROWD REACTIONS

QUESTION

In my final scene, the protagonist has a chance meeting with the antagonist on a busy street corner. At the moment they meet, both characters are taken by surprise and each emotes loudly drawing the attention of the crowd who exclaim in shock, surprise, disbelief, and curiosity. Example: "Did you see that?" "Holy cow!" "It's on now!" "Oh, hell no!" "Dude, you messed up," and "Kick his butt."

How can I best format these various exclamations by the crowd, when in essence there are many voices speaking at a given moment in time?

ANSWER

Since it doesn't matter who says these lines, you could simply write them as one speech as follows:

                                    VOICES IN THE CROWD
                            (overlapping)
                    Did you see that? Holy cow! It's
                    on now! Dude, you messed up. Kick
                    his butt!

However, these are all throwaway lines, and I suspect it hardly matters what anyone says. This kind of dialogue is usually created ad lib at the shoot. Unless one or more of the specific crowd comments are important, you can probably get away with a line of description, something like the following:

The passers-by, sensing a coming fight, make room for it and shout at Butch and Bobo, egging them on.

 

 

A NUMBERS GAME

QUESTION

How do I write numbers in time? For example, "I ran the marathon in 3:45:22."

ANSWER

As you know, in narrative description, you can write out numbers as numbers. In dialogue, you should write out numbers as words, except for dates (such as July 4, 1776) and names (R2-D2, Agent 99). My suggestion is to write out your speech the way your character would actually say it. Here is one possibility:

                                    SUSAN
                    DI ran the marathon in three,
                    oforty-five, twenty-two.

Good luck and keep writing!

 

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March 2022

TWO-HEADED CHARACTERS

QUESTION

I was wondering what would be the proper way to introduce a character under an assumed identity. Angela, a young television reporter, meets Brightman, her new cameraman, while on their way to shoot a story in Baghdad. In a later scene, Angela contacts her boss in New York to find out that "Brightman can't get out of Toronto," and the person identifying himself as Brightman is actually an NSA operative. Should I introduce him as Brightman (to keep the level of suspense) or as an NSA agent?

ANSWER

The last thing you want is a reader who gets confused and thinks there are two characters, where in fact there is one character with two heads (or identities). Thus, there are two general guidelines to keep in mind in situations like this one:

• Be consistent in the character cue.

• Be clear. In other words, be absolutely clear so that you don't lose or confuse the reader, and refer to the character in exactly the same way in the character cue throughout your script.

Of course, you can refer to the character in a variety of ways in narrative description and in speeches.

If your character's real name is actually Brightman, then this is a no-brainer; refer to him as BRIGHTMAN in the character cue throughout the script. However, if his name is not actually Brightman, but Jones (the NSA operative), then you have two options:

• Refer to him as JONES throughout the script, even though everyone thinks he is BRIGHTMAN for the first little while. That option will kill the suspense in your particular script.

• Call him BRIGHTMAN, but begin to refer to him as BRIGHTMAN/JONES or JONES/BRIGHTMAN or JONES AS BRIGHTMAN at the moment his true name is revealed.

For example, if the character is called BRIGHTMAN until the very end, I would refer to him as BRIGHTMAN throughout the script and maybe go to BRIGHTMAN/JONES at the end. However, if we learn that his name is JONES on page 10, then I would probably use JONES in the character cue throughout the script with the early explanation that people call him Brightman even though his name is Jones. Choose the option that makes the most sense and which will be clearly understood by the reader.

By the way, I do not see a reason to refer to him as NSA AGENT since he is apparently an important character, and, as such, should be referred to by name.

 

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February 2022

A VICTORIAN NOTION

QUESTION

How would one format a scene that is in black and white or in a vintage style of photography that then cuts (in the following scene) to regular color? My opening scene is set in.

ANSWER

You could include a note after your first scene heading (slug line):

NOTE: This scene is in black and white.

Or, you could open your screenplay as follows:

FADE IN:

EXT. LONDON – DAY – BLACK & WHITE

A dirty, gray city.

SUPER: "LONDON, 1876

At the very end of the scene, write:

NOTE: The remainder of the movie is in color.

Incidentally, don't refer to CREDITS in a spec screenplay.

CITING SOURCES

QUESTION

I am entering a contest regarding family abuse by writing a small script for a commercial. I am wondering, though, if I have an image and then FADE OUT and have a spoken quote regarding the abuse, do I cite my source within the spoken quote, or do I include it as part of the shot?

ANSWER

I think you're smart to cite your source, since doing so will likely give your commercial more credibility. The same could be done in a spec feature script for a particular quote. You could have the narrator cite the source as long as that didn't seem intrusive. Certainly, that's done a lot in documentaries.

For your commercial, since you will FADE OUT and the quote will be spoken, why not superimpose the citation over the black screen while or after the narrator speaks, as follows:

FADE TO BLACK.

                                     NARRATOR
                    America's Foster Care system is
                    a quagmire that is spawning a
                    generation of forgotten and
                    forsaken children.

SUPER: "Time Magazine, November 13, 2020."

Good luck and keep writing!

 

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January 2022

GETTING ANIMATED

QUESTION

I am working on a script for a film that would contain several short animated segments. How should these be worked into the script? Is there a standard format for this?

ANSWER

Handle it with a special scene heading, just the way you'd handle a DREAM or FLASHBACK or MONTAGE that you need to work into the script. For example, here's one possible way:

ANIMATION -- SILLY BILLY MEETS THE MONKEY MAN

And then describe your scene or sequence of shots, just as you would with a MONTAGE or DREAM SEQUENCE.

We often forget that there are basic principles behind formatting. These aren't just a bunch of arbitrary rules. So don't be afraid to extrapolate from some known principle if you come up with a new screenwriting situation. What if the above were a dream? Handle it like this:

DREAM -- SILLY BILLY MEETS THE MONKEY MAN

or...

EXT. AMAZON JUNGLE - DREAM

Silly Billy and his friends hike the jungle trail. Suddenly, the Monkey Man drops out of a tree.

...And so on.

What if you have an animated dream? Just call it that, an ANIMATED DREAM, in your special scene heading.

If it is a full scene, use this scene heading:

EXT. AMAZON JUNGLE – DAY - ANIMATION

And then write out the scene just as you would for any other scene.

Simply apply fundamental formatting principles. As screenwriters, we must understand formatting to fully understand spec writing. This is something I really get animated about.

NOTE: The new 2022 printing of Dr. Format Tells All will be available sometime in January. If you want to be totally up-to-date, order the book at keepwriting.com and then email me directly (dave@keepwriting.com) that you want the 2022 printing. I hope the new year will be a productive one for you.

 

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December 2021

VOICE OVER ACTION

QUESTION

Is the following correct? It's the only way I can figure out how to format it:

INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY

The judge looks doubtful.

                                JUDGE
                      I need to know more about
                      the incident.

                                PROSECUTOR (V.O.)
                      Well, your honor, according to the
                      proprietor, the defendant blah,
                      blah, blah...

SERIES OF COORDINATED SHOTS TO (V.O.) ABOVE

-- Night life along the beach [to set tone].

-- Inside building, lots of noise, music, smoke....

-- At other end of the building, patrons....

-- A fight breaks out and bouncers pounce....

BACK TO PRESENT COURT SCENE

                                JUDGE
                      Good Lord! Anything else?

ANSWER

I realize that the above is purposely brief to save space. Naturally, you would want your descriptions of shots to be more specific and visually clear. And, of course, you would write out every word the prosecutor says. Having noted that, let's discuss your problem.

The above is poor format. If you are going to have the prosecutor speak while we see visual images, then you should write in that fashion. Don’t worry about “coordinate shots”; the coordination will be clear by how your place the action and dialogue. Here's a partial revision to illustrate what I mean:

                                PROSECUTOR (V.O.)
                      Well, your honor, according to the
                      proprietor...

EXT. BOARDWALK - NIGHT

The defendant runs by and glances at the building.

And then you would continue the narration over the visual description. The idea is to describe what we will visually see on the movie screen. At the end of this scene, you could write:

INT. COURTROOM - CONTINUOUS

There is a potential problem in proceeding in the above manner. As a general rule, the narration should not repeat what the audience is already seeing on the silver screen. Perhaps a more effective approach to this scene would be to let the prosecutor begin his explanation, and then cut to the boardwalk along the beach and show us what happened without any voice over narration. In any case, good luck and keep writing!

 

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November 2021

SILENCE IS GOLDEN

QUESTION

What does MOS mean?

ANSWER

It means "without sound." The reason it is MOS instead of WOS (for without sound) is because it originates with Austrian-born director Eric von Stroheim, who would say, "Ve’ll shoot dis mid out sound." Thus, MOS

With MOS, we see the characters’ lips moving, but we don’t hear their voices or the sounds around them. What follows is a paragraph written without the use of the MOS device:

The van rumbles along. Inside, two twenty-something parents, BUSTER and CAROL shout at each other but their words cannot be heard.

Here is the same paragraph using the MOS device:

The van rumbles along. Inside, two twenty-something parents, BUSTER and CAROL shout at each other MOS.

Both paragraphs have the exact same meaning and both are correct.

KARAOKE KATIE

QUESTION

What is the proper format when writing the dialogue of a character singing a karaoke song?

ANSWER

Just describe your character picking up the microphone, and then write out the lyrics that he sings in italics, as in the example below.

If you wish, you can indicate that the character is "singing" in parentheses, as I do below, or you can omit the parenthetical entirely:

                                DELBERT
                          (singing)
              Katie, Katie
              Give me your answer do.
              I’m half crazy
              all for the love of you.

And keep singing…er…writing!

 

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October 2021

TV TROUBLES

QUESTION

Let’s say I want to use the television as a secondary scene. Should I use a scene heading like the following?

NEWS REPORTER ON TV

Or should I use this one:

ON TV

What if I want the person watching TV to be interrupted by the voice of someone else in the room? How should I write that?

ANSWER

Since the reporter on TV will be speaking, I suggest you use him or her as a character rather than a scene heading (slug line). Here’s my suggestion, and we’ll create Mark who is off screen on the phone:

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

Jessica grasps her lottery ticket while watching TV. The phone RINGS.

                          TV REPORTER
          Today’s lottery numbers are....

                          MARK (O.S.)
          Honey, it’s Jimmy the Thumb. Your
          loan is due.

You could use the TV as a scene heading if the audience needs to see what is playing on the TV monitor. For example:

ON TV

An ANNOUNCER with a plaid suit and bow tie waves his hand like a magician.

                          TV REPORTER
          Today’s lottery numbers are....

BACK IN THE LIVING ROOM

Jessica grasps her lottery ticket.

Keep writing.

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SEPTEMBER 2021

WRESTLING WITH ACTION DESCRIPTIONS

QUESTION

I'm writing a screenplay about the world of professional wrestling, and I'm wondering how specific I have to be in wrestling and fight scenes. Do I need to write them out move by move, or is that considered amateurish? Is it enough to give a general description and maybe specify only key moves?

ANSWER

I think you have the right idea in that last question. You don't usually need to describe every specific action, but you need to describe enough of the action that the reader can "see" what is happening. Thus, you will use specific language and describe specific details, but you will not usually need to describe every detail.

In dramatic moments, such as the end of the fight, you might want to describe all of those last specific moves. To be honest, there's an element of subjectivity here, and you must decide how much description is enough for your particular screenplay.

In reading the wonderful sword fight scene in William Goldman's The Princess Bride, you'll notice that many specific actions are described, and that there are sections of summary descriptions.

What follows is the description of specific moves:

Inigo dives from the stairs to a moss-covered bar suspended over the archway. He swings out, lands, and scrambles to his sword.

The Man in Black casually tosses his sword to the landing where it sticks perfectly.

Then, the Man in Black copies Inigo. Not copies exactly, improves. He dives for the bar, swings completely over it like a circus performer and dismounts with a 9.7 backflip.

Then, a little later, we have a summary description that, although a summary, describes specific details:

Inigo, moving like lightning, thrusts forward, slashes, darts back, all in almost a single movement and...

The Man in Black dodges, blocks, and again thrusts forward, faster than ever before, and again he slashes.

Notice the use of action verbs.

Earlier in the scene, the following summary description appears:

And in a frenzy, the Man in Black makes every feint, tries every thrust, lets go with all he has left. But he fails. Everything fails. He tries one or two final desperate moves but they are nothing.

In the above example, we don't see any specific moves, but we get a good sense of what is happening, especially in the context of the action that has preceded this moment (which I have not provided).

The bottom line is to help the reader visualize the action, and to keep the reader excited, enthralled, and intrigued without confusing her. Good luck and keep writing.

 

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AUGUST 2021

MUST FORMATTING BE PERFECT?

QUESTION

Is it true that if you violate screenplay format in any way, you're immediately rejected?

ANSWER

No.

If you've written a riveting story, but there are a few minor errors in formatting, the script is not going to be tossed into the can, in most cases. The problem comes when your errors in formatting become confusing or distracting to the reader. When a writer pays insufficient attention to formatting conventions or uses his or her own inimitable formatting style, the resulting script is usually both confusing and distracting.

Your goal, therefore, is to strive for correct format and be consistent in how you apply formatting tools, but not to obsess over it to the point that you buy a hand gun.

Perfection is not the goal; excellence is.

TO FORMAT OR NOT TO FORMAT....

QUESTION

Why must a script be formatted, if the point is to tell a good story?

ANSWER

The short answer is because you want to sell your script. It's possible to sell your story in treatment form, but it will be for a lot less money…unless you are an established writer. A treatment is just an idea. A producer and agent want to see a completed script.

As a developing writer, it's normal to view formatting conventions as a kind of an arbitrary rigid box that you must force the content of your story into, but that's missing the point. It's time to re-frame.

Formatting is the language of screenplays. It's a flexible communication guide for expressing your story in a way that other professional collaborators (producers, directors, cinematographers, readers, agents, and others) can clearly understand. In reality, formatting guidelines truly are a friend.

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

But isn't the story more important?

ANSWER

Yes, but properly formatting your story is like dressing it up for a job interview; it makes a positive first impression. In addition, a properly formatted script demonstrates that you are serious and professional. And that you want to keep writing!

 

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JUNE 2021

TIME STANDS STILL

QUESTION

I have two questions please.

First, how would I format someone's dialogue if her voice fades away in the middle of her speech and becomes just background noise because the attention is elsewhere?

For example, I have a scene in a museum where the guide is speaking to the crowd about the display, and at first we hear her speech very clearly and John, the main character, is focused on what she [the guide] is saying; but then, John sees someone in the crowd he used to be in love with, and time slows. The guide's speech becomes background noise.

My next question is, if you have a slow motion sequence of shots, but you want several different camera angles on it, like in the above scene, and you want the action around them to continue in regular time, as if they are in their own dimension (like The Matrix action scenes, only everything else around them keeps moving as usual) what would be the slug line [scene heading] for that?

ANSWER

Here's an example to answer your first question:

John listens to the museum guide.

                         GUIDE
          And this is T-Rex. It’s probably....

The Guide’s voice FADES into silence and all motion SLOWS at the moment John spots Debi standing in the distance.

In answer to your second question:

The Guide's voice FADES at the moment that John spots Debi in the distance.

When he catches her gaze, they move in SLOW MOTION towards each other while everything around them moves in REAL TIME.

And then describe more of what we see. You don't need a new scene heading (slug line). I placed the technical directions in all-CAPS.

In your second question, you refer to several different camera angles. I worry that you are getting so technically involved that you are acting as the director rather than the writer and are missing opportunities to improve the content of your story.

As an alternative, I suggest that you describe different facial expressions, gestures, or small actions to reveal what the characters might be thinking or feeling at this key moment and/or to characterize them. Keep your focus on the story and characters, and keep writing.

 

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MAY 2021

TV TRANSITION

QUESTION

What is the correct way to describe the situation where video-taped footage is shown on a monitor in a television studio before cutting to an interviewer with an interviewee who discuss what was in the video footage just shown?

ANSWER

What you describe could be visualized in a number of ways. That means there are a variety of ways to approach the situation. In any case, the formatting problem is really about how to make the transition from the monitor to the interviewer. Here is what I see:

EXT. BURNING HOUSE – DAY

The house is completely engulfed. Firefighters battle the blaze.

INT. TV STUDIO – DAY

Video of the same burning house plays on a TV monitor.

Below on an interview couch sit Chester Bolt and a uniformed Fire Captain who watch the TV monitor.

Chester turns his head towards the studio cameras.

If Chester and the Fire Captain are appearing in the screenplay for the first time, then their names above would appear in all-CAPS.

If Chester and the Fire Captain are watching a live broadcast of the burning building from the TV studio, I would show that using the term SAME (meaning "at the same time"), as follows:

INT. TV STUDIO - SAME

I would then adjust the description accordingly.

CAN I USE SPECIAL SLUGS?

QUESTION

I know I should avoid camera directions, close-ups, and so on, but what about slug lines for phone conversations and words that appear on the movie screen?

ANSWER

Certainly, you will use special headings (or slug lines) for FLASHBACKS, MONTAGES, INSERTS, INTERCUTS for telephone conversations, and other special situations.

But above all, focus on the story and characters, and keep writing.

 

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APRIL 2021

3 QUICK SCENES IN A ROW

QUESTION

Please help with a scene that involves my character Melanie, sitting at a table, who talks with three men in sequence during a speed dating session. Here is what I have written so far:

INT. BLUES BAR – NIGHT

During the whole sequence the camera stays on the men's face, like an interrogation/interview.

A nervous MAN sits at Table 4.

                        MAN #1
          Samantha?

                        MELANIE
          Excuse me?

                       MAN #1
          You're not Samantha? Oh, I see
          your badge now. Sorry. Then I
          cannot talk. I'm only here for
          Samantha.

                        MELANIE
          What?

The dialogue continues until....

                        MAN #1
          Three minutes! Times up.

                                        CUT TO:

A MAN older than Man #1 sits at Table 4.

And so on,

ANSWER

Let's avoid the editing direction (CUT TO) and write this using one master scene heading along with three secondary headings. Also, to keep the camera on the three men, we'll simply put Melanie off screen (O.S.). Also, let's give each man a bit more personality and provide some description of the master location:

INT. BLUES BAR – NIGHT

Dark and smoky. Sultry music. Ten couples sit at ten tables.

AT TABLE 4

sits TWITCHY MAN fumbling with a cigarette.

                       TWITCHY MAN
          Samantha?

                        MELANIE
          Excuse me?

                       TWITCHY MAN
          You're not Samantha? Oh, I see
          your badge now. Sorry. Then I
          cannot talk. I'm only here for
          Samantha.

                        MELANIE
          What?

The dialogue continues until....

                       TWITCHY MAN
          Three minutes! Times up.

MOMENTS LATER

AGED HIPPIE sits at the same table.

And so on, until we've seen all three men. The above, of course, is not the only way to handle the above situation, but it is one way. Have fun and keep writing!

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MARCH 2021

SLUG LINE ISSUES

QUESTION

When writing slug lines, when do I have to include the EXT. and INT.? In some scripts, I see slug lines with them and others without them. What gives?

ANSWER

Although the term "slug line" has its origins in journalism, it is used extensively in screenwriting to refer to scene headings. There are two kinds of scene headings (or slug lines) that we are dealing with in your question.

A master scene heading contains the master (or primary) location. A secondary scene heading refers to a secondary location within the master location. In the scene below, the master location is the interior of the convenience store. Secondary locations that are part of the master location include the counter and the aisle.

Master scene headings generally have three parts: camera placement (EXT. or INT.), the master (or primary) location, and the time (DAY or NIGHT). Since secondary locations are part of the master location, secondary scene headings are more abbreviated. Let's look at an example:

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE – NIGHT

A man wearing a werewolf Halloween mask enters.

AT THE COUNTER

the clerk freezes in fear.

IN THE AISLE

a young couple huddles together.

BACK AT THE COUNTER

the masked man opens a large paper sack.

                        MASKED MAN
          Trick or treat.

These secondary headings could have been written as follows, if preferred:

COUNTER

AISLE

The important thing to remember is you don't use a secondary scene heading unless that secondary location is part of the master location. This technique is usually used where you have a long scene, such as an important action scene; the secondary scene headings help break that long scene into shorter units. For example, in CASABLANCA, a master scene heading might look like this.

INT. RICK'S PLACE – NIGHT

Secondary locations might include the following:

BAR

GAMING ROOM

RICK'S TABLE

In some cases, you may want to include both a master location and a secondary location in the same scene heading, as follows:

INT. SMITH HOME – KITCHEN – DAY

Naturally, there can be a number of other secondary locations at the Smith home; for example, the living room, a bedroom, a hallway, the stairs, and so on.

Keep in mind that secondary scene headings are seldom used in shooting scripts, and occasionally, you’ll find a producer who prefers all master scene headings.

Often in spec writing, secondary scene headings are not necessary. Simplicity is a spec writing virtue. To demonstrate, let's revise that first scene at the convenience store without the secondary headings.

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE – NIGHT

A man wearing a werewolf Halloween mask enters.  The clerk at the counter freezes in fear.

In one of the aisles, a couple huddles together.

The masked man steps toward the clerk and opens a Halloween sack.

                        MASKED MAN
          Trick or treat.

Good luck and keep writing!

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FEBRUARY 2021

CAMERA MOVEMENT

QUESTION

You preach that screenwriters should direct the camera without using camera directions. How would I do that for an opening scene where the camera pans the inside of a room, indicating various objects that help establish the character?

ANSWER

One way is to have a character walk through the room and look at each object. Another way is to describe the objects one by one, as follows:

INT. JUDD'S ROOM – DAY

The door is painted purple in contrast to the bright green walls littered with posters of science stars —- Einstein, Hawking, Newton.

Astrology charts and books sit on an old desk. Behind the desk is a large book case overflowing with books.

...And so on.

Keep in mind that most scenes you write will not be shot the way you write them anyway. Once your spec script is sold, a budget is created. The production manager must find the location or set, which will be "decorated" within the limits of the budget and may not match what you have written. Then, the director will block the scene and decide on how many "set ups" he or she needs, considering time and money limitations.

CAMERA ANGLES

QUESTION

How do you handle changing the camera angle in a scene when doing so is important to the drama of the scene? I need to do this in a scene where a man is in his office talking on the phone with the camera showing the man. And then I want the camera to show what's out the window that the man was looking at.

ANSWER

How about this?

John, phone to ear, laughs heartily as he gazes out the window. He suddenly stops, his expression a mask of terror. He drops the phone and steps back.

Outside the window, John sees a window washer... with a gun.

And yes, that last paragraph is a POV shot, but I didn’t need to use a camera direction.

There are probably a dozen ways to write the above. And there may be rare situations where you will use a camera direction or a camera angle or a technical direction in a spec screenplay. But first explore more creative ways, and then, if you feel you must use camera directions, do so very sparingly. Camera directions are for shooting (production) scripts, not the spec script you are writing.

READERS AND THE CAMERA

QUESTION

If you could only name one thing that a reader [story analyst] wants, what would it be?

ANSWER

May I name more than one? I'll be brief.

Readers want a wonderful story and original characters. And readers want a screenplay that is clear and easy to read. That's one reason for the exclusion of camera directions and other technical intrusions. Words and phrases in all-CAPS are more difficult to read, and slow down the reading process.

Your narrative should describe visual images and sounds in clear, specific terms. It is more important to be clear than to be literary, and more effective to be readable than technical. Strive for short paragraphs; as a general guideline, limit long paragraphs to four lines in length. And keep writing!

 

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JANUARY 2021

IF HIPPOS COULD FLY

QUESTION

I am writing a script that needs to have a certain person's POV [point of view]. Think along the lines of The Sixth Sense where the character sees "things." My question is, whenever my character sees these "things," should I put:

JOE BLOW'S POV – A flying hippo.

ANSWER

Avoid technical intrusions in a spec script. Try to direct the camera without using camera directions. In this case, just write:

Joe Blow sees a flying hippo.

That has to be a POV shot.

THE CAMERA AS A CHARACTER

QUESTION

I'm writing a fictional documentary in the style of Waiting For Guffman, Bob Roberts, Man Bites Dog, etc., and I am wondering how to write scenes where the "cameraman" is an actual participant in the scene. Specifically, let's say the cameraman is interviewing someone, when suddenly an explosion occurs and everyone, including the cameraman, runs in terror. If I write "Cameraman flees the area like a scared rabbit," that implies that we actually SEE him running, but in reality I want him running with the camera still rolling. What's the best way to do this?

ANSWER

There are many ways to handle this situation. Here's just one. Let's cross-cut between what is happening and what the camera sees. Let's say Nancy Cameraperson is filming teen sensation Rock Jock, who is being interviewed at the moment of the explosion:

A nearby explosion rocks the area. andemonium.

People run every direction.

THROUGH NANCY'S CAMERA

Rock Jock's plastic smile withers into a white mask of horror. He flees.

Images of people fly by at awkward angles. There is no up or down.

BACK TO SCENE

Nancy runs, her camera bouncing awkwardly from her hand. Debris begins to fall from the sky.

THROUGH NANCY'S CAMERA

A man trips and falls hard on the sidewalk. The image blurs from sidewalk to sky. A black and white plume of smoke billows into the blue.

A uniformed man falls from somewhere right on us. Blackness.

BACK TO SCENE

Nancy is on the ground looking up. The uniformed man has fallen on her and on the camera. A siren wails. Nancy struggles to her feet.

And then, keep cutting back and forth until the scene ends, and keep writing!

 

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DECEMBER 2020

CAR SHOTS

QUESTION

Should the slug line [scene heading] for a scene showing a man inside a car that is outdoors say INT or EXT?

ANSWER

First, let's clearly understand what INT. and EXT. mean. The references (INT. and EXT.) are to the camera location. INT. CAR means the camera is inside the car with the man. EXT. CAR means the camera is outside the car looking through the windshield or the car windows to the man. For that reason, many writers write something like this:

INT./EXT. CAR – DAY

That means that the camera can be inside or outside the car, giving the option to the director. It also makes it easier for you, the writer; you won't have to CUT back and forth between interior (INT.) and exterior (EXT.) shots.

PLAYBACK

QUESTION

How do you handle showing a conversation being heard when a character plays back an audio recording?

ANSWER

The dialogue on a taped recording is voiced over (V.O.); thus, it would be formatted as follows:

Detective Lu flicks "Play" on his micro cassette and listens.

                            FIONA (V.O.)
         I hid it in the desk drawer.

This principle applies to voices heard through the telephone, radio, or similar device, or any dialogue that is voiced over; meaning, any dialogue that is not spoken at the scene location.

By comparison, dialogue spoken by a character who is at the camera location, but who is not on screen (in the camera's view), is called off screen dialogue (O.S.).

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NOVEMBER 2020

IT DEPENDS ON YOUR POINT-OF-VIEW

QUESTION

How to I write a scene that shows what my character Bob sees through a pair of binoculars?

ANSWER

You appear to be describing a point-of-view (POV) shot through binoculars. What follows is one of many ways to handle the situation in a spec script. It’s the version I personally prefer because of its simplicity:

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Bob sits next to his hotel window and picks up his binoculars.

THROUGH THE BINOCULARS

Bob sees a crowded corner newsstand, where hundreds of people purchase copies of Screenwriter software.

BACK TO SCENE

Bob drops the binoculars and dashes out of the room.

The notation "BACK TO SCENE" can be replaced with "BACK TO HOTEL ROOM" if you prefer. Notice that I did not use the camera direction POV; even so, it’s clearly a POV shot.

The following version is also correct, but a little clunky:

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Bob sits next to his hotel window and picks up his binoculars.

EXT. CORNER NEWSTAND – THROUGH THE BINOCULARS

Hundreds of people purchase copies of Screenwriter software.

INT. HOTEL ROOM

Bob drops the binoculars and dashes out of the room.

The following third version is also correct, but I don't think it flows quite as well as the first two:

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Bob sits next to his hotel window and picks up his binoculars.

THROUGH THE BINOCULARS

EXT. CORNER NEWSTAND

Hundreds of people purchase copies of Script magazine.

INT. HOTEL ROOM

Bob drops the binoculars and dashes out of the room.

Whichever version you use, make sure you keep writing!

 

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OCTOBER 2020

HEADLINE HEADINGS

QUESTION

I have no idea how to insert various news headlines. There are four headlines I want to use and I just don't know how to go about it.

ANSWER

If there was just one headline, you would simply include it in narrative description, as follows:

The news headline reads: "Red Sox Win!"

The following would work for more than one headline. (I'm using actual headlines that have appeared in newspapers.)

MONTAGE – NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

Newspapers drop on a table in succession with the following headlines:

-- "Milk Drinkers Turn to Powder"
-- "New Housing for Elderly Not yet Dead"
-- "Man Fatally Slain"
-- "Convict Evades Noose; Jury Hung"

BACK TO SCENE

THE MESSAGE IS IN THE TEXT

QUESTION

How would I format an e-mail conversation between two people?

ANSWER

My answer applies to text messaging, instant messaging, e-mailing, and the like. What follows assumes the entire scene is handled at one location, Burt's room. Also, instead of using BURT as a secondary scene heading, I could write BACK TO SCENE or BACK TO BURT:

Burt types on his laptop.

ON BURT'S LAPTOP SCREEN

          "Jan, come with me to Paris."

BURT

stands up and paces around his desk until he hears a little PING. He scrambles to his laptop.

ON BURT'S LAPTOP SCREEN

Jan's words appear:

          "Was gonna break it off, but since
          you mention Paris... okay."

BURT

screams for joy.

Here is an alternate method that is simpler, takes less space, and, in my eyes, is preferred:

Burt types on his laptop: "Jan, come with me to Paris."

He stands up and paces around his desk until he hears a little PING. He scrambles to his laptop.

Jan's words appear: "Was gonna break it off, but since you mention Paris... okay."

Burt screams for joy, then types with a flourish: “Continue d’ecrire.” [Keep writing.]

NOTICE: “Write a Showcase Spec Script”—my series of 4 online courses—begins soon! See details here: https://www.keepwriting.com/online.htm.

 

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SEPTEMBER 2020

ZOOM AND SKYPE

QUESTION

I want to show a Zoom conversation of two or more people on screen in individual webcam boxes simultaneously while they converse back and forth. In this scene, Henry wants to find a book and so we cut to him in his room searching for the book and then come back to the Zoom platform.

ANSWER

This is a timely question, since Zoom and similar platforms are used a lot in our current pandemic.

The short answer is this: Zoom and Skype and other platforms are handled just like a TV set in the room. Since we see everyone who appears on the screen, they are "in the scene." That means you do not need to label their dialogue as "voice over" (V.O.).

However, if a character in the scene leaves her computer for a moment, but she can still hear the voices from her computer, those speeches would be marked "off screen" (O.S.). The characters are there in the scene, but are off screen (we can't see them). For example:

INT. PEGGY'S ROOM – DAY

Peggy keyboards and the meeting platform "Zoom" appears on her computer screen. She sees three faces in individual boxes, including Henry's.

                          PEGGY
          I'm in, guys. Just a second. I need
          a water.

Peggy steps over to a table. Henry jokes.

                          HENRY (O.S.)
          Get one for me, too.

Peggy returns to her desk and holds up her water.

                          PEGGY
          Ha, ha. Here, drink up.

Now, if you want to feature the computer screen so that it's the only thing we see (in other words, the computer screen becomes the movie screen), then write:

PEGGY'S COMPUTER SCREEN

Or, if you prefer:

ON PEGGY'S COMPUTER MONITOR

The meeting platform "Zoom" appears. Three faces in individual boxes appear.

                          PEGGY
          I'm in, guys. Just a second. I need
          a water.

And then when you want to break away from the screen back to Peggy's room so that the audience can see Peggy again, just write:

BACK TO SCENE

Or:

BACK TO PEGGY'S ROOM

Finally, to answer your specific question, let's have Henry retrieve a book.

INT. PEGGY'S ROOM – DAY

Peggy keyboards and the meeting platform "Zoom" appears on her computer screen. She sees three faces in individual boxes, including Henry's.

                          PEGGY
          I'm in, guys. Hey, Henry, go get
          your copy of The Screenwriter's Bible.

INT. HENRY'S LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Henry races to the bookshelf and grabs the book.

                          HENRY
          Got it!

INT. PEGGY'S ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Peggy scoots her chair closer to her desk and computer.

PEGGY'S COMPUTER SCREEN

And now write out their conversation. You already know how to break away from the computer monitor if you want to. Incidentally, you don't need to describe every change on the computer screen.

Finally, I used the term CONTINUOUS in the above scene to show that the scenes are continuous (one after the other with no jump in time); however, since that is already obvious, you could omit CONTINUOUS if you prefer. Just keep writing!

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AUGUST 2020

HEADLINE HEADINGS

QUESTION

I have no idea how to insert various news headlines. There are four headlines I want to use and I just don't know how to go about it.

ANSWER

If there was just one headline, you would use the INSERT heading and indent the headline as you would dialogue:

INSERT – NEWS HEADLINE, which reads:

                    "Red Sox Win!"

BACK TO SCENE

Or, probably better, simply write:

The news headline reads: "Red Sox Win!"

The quotation marks are essential in the above example.

For a series of four headlines, use the MONTAGE, as follows. (In the example below, I'm using actual headlines that have appeared in newspapers.)

MONTAGE – NEWSPAPER HEADLINESS

-- "Milk Drinkers Turn to Powder"

-- "New Housing for Elderly Not yet Dead"

-- "Man Fatally Slain"

-- "Convict Evades Noose; Jury Hung"

BACK TO SCENE

Options abound. Another idea is to create your own special heading:

SERIES OF HEADLINES

Newspapers drop on a table in succession.

And then list your headlines as with the MONTAGE above.

Good luck and keep writing!

 

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JULY 2020

TALKING WITHOUT HEARING

QUESTION

How do I format a scene where the characters talk, but we don't hear what they say (muted conversation as background music is playing)? Do I just write, A and B in a heated argument, etc.?

ANSWER

Use MOS. MOS means "without sound." Thus, you could write something like this:

Andrea and Roberto argue MOS.

WHAT IF I BARELY HEAR HIM?

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

How do I format a scene where the conversation is heard in very low volume? Do I just write the dialogue or should I mention that the conversation is heard feebly on screen?

ANSWER

Just describe what we hear, and if the audience hears the words, then write them out as dialogue. For example:

Skinny speaks so softly, the words can be barely heard.

                            SKINNY
                There's a g-ghost behind you.

Or, write:

                            SKINNY
                      (whispers)
                There's a g-ghost behind you.

Or, let's assume the speaker begins speaking, but our attention turns to something else so that we don't hear the entire speech. This is one way to handle that.

                            MC
                Ladies and Gentlemen, it's been
                many years since...

As the MC drones on, John gives Fiona a peck on the cheek.

And then John and Fiona can have a conversation or slip out of the convention hall or whatever. The ellipsis at the end of the speech implies that the MC continues with his speech, but you will still want to clarify that in narrative description. Before the actual shoot, the MC's entire speech will be written out so that the MC will speak, although his words will be barely perceptible.

VAGUE LOCATIONS

QUESTION

Can I use the word "some" in scene heading like "SOME HELIPAD" or "SOME RESTAURANT" where it is not absolutely essential to mention the exact town or city name?

ANSWER

Mention the exact town or place if that's important, or give it a fictitious name. Otherwise, just write HELIPAD or RESTAURANT; for example:

EXT. HELIPAD – DAY

Good luck and keep writing!

 

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JUNE 2020

WRYLIES FOR READERS

QUESTION

I've been told that I should not write any wrylies at all. That's because actors just cross them out; they consider them an insult. Is that true? (Note: Wrylies is another term for the parentheticals or actor's direction found in dialogue blocks.)

ANSWER

If you are writing a spec script, you are not writing for actors. You are writing primarily for readers. Once a producer or agent receives your script, he or she hands it off to a reader who writes a coverage and either recommends your script or doesn’t recommend it. If it’s not recommended, it’s not read by the producer, agent, or any actors.

Once the spec script is sold, it will be converted into a shooting script. It's perfectly alright to include wrylies in your spec script. However, use them only when necessary. I often see redundant writing, such as the following.

Jim looked mad as hell.

                            JIM
                      (angrily)
                You're making me mad!

In the above example, the description, the wryly, and the exclamation point are all unnecessary. Consider using a wryly when the subtext is not already clear from the content of the words or the context of the situation.

You can also use wrylies to describe small actions associated with the dialogue. For example:

                            JIM
                      (tips his hat)
                If you're waiting for me,
                you're going backwards.

Notice I wrote "tips his hat," not "tipping his hat." This is not a big deal, but as a general guideline avoid the "ing" word in a wryly.

FORMATTING OF WRYLIES

QUESTION

Am I correct that the following parenthetical is incorrectly formatted?

                            DOLLY
                I'm Dolly Duncan. (Twirling her
                golden hair.) My father owns HG
                Hummers.

ANSWER

You're right that it's wrong. Wrylies should not be capitalized, and the period is unnecessary. Also, wrylies should be given their own place in the dialogue block. The following is correct:

                            DOLLY
                I'm Dolly Duncan.
                      (twirling her golden
                       hair)
                My father owns HG Hummers.

Good luck and keep writing!

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MAY 2020

O.C.D ABOUT O.S., O.C., AND V.O.

QUESTION

Could you please clearly explain O.S. and V.O.? I hear different things from different people, and sometimes I see O.C. in older scripts. I'm starting to get obsessed about this.

ANSWER

In addition to your question above, I have received three other emailed questions in the last couple of days asking me to explain O.S. and V.O., so let's relax and get into it.

O.S. means "off screen" – the character is physically there at the scene location, but is not in the camera view; in the produced movie, we would hear her voice but not see her, even though she is there at the master (or primary) scene location.

Suppose the scene takes place at SAL'S HOUSE and she is cooking in the KITCHEN while JOE watches TV in the LIVING ROOM. If the camera is on Sal in the KITCHEN, anything Joe says would be marked as O.S. because he is at the master or primary location (SAL'S HOUSE) but is not in the camera view.

O.C. means "off camera" – it is an archaic term that means the same thing as O.S. Don't worry about O.C. and don't use it.

V.O. means "voice over" – a voice originates from outside the scene location. Here are common situations where you would use this notation:

• A voice originates from outside the scene location through a phone or walkie-talkie or radio or some other device.
• A character in the scene recalls a speech he heard earlier in the screenplay, such as his mother reminding him to wear a coat. The speech is the mother's, but she is not there at the scene location. Thus, her speech originates from another location, and so it's marked V.O.
• A character begins to explain what happened a year ago. You cut to a FLASHBACK, but we still hear the character's voice from PRESENT DAY explaining what happened. The voice originates from outside the FLASHBACK location and is marked V.O.
• We hear a disembodied voice: "Luke, reach out with your feelings" (Obi-wan in Star Wars IV). Whisperings from another world are marked V.O.
• We hear the character's own thoughts at the moment; that is, the audience sees him and hears his voice, but his lips aren't moving. Thus, the speech originates from another location (probably a recording studio or looping studio). Incidentally, I don't recommend this application; it usually comes off as obvious exposition except in rare instances in broad comedies.
• A character narrates the story. The voice does not original from any of the scene locations and so it is marked V.O. If you use the term NARRATOR in the character cue (that is, the character name in the dialogue block), then V.O. is assumed and you don't have to use the term.

O.S. and V.O. exceptions

• Suppose there is a TV in the scene, and the TV screen is in full view (within the camera frame or view). Technically, the person on the TV screen is at the scene location since the TV is at the scene location. Thus, the character that we see speaking on TV is like any other character in the room. Since we see him speaking, his speech is normal dialogue without any special notation.

However, if the TV is at the scene location, but is turned away from the camera view and we don't see the character on the TV screen, her speech should be marked O.S. because she is technically there at the scene location, but she is not in the camera view.

The same goes for a Skype conversation on the computer or a FaceTime conversation on a smart phone.

• Holograms as in Star Wars IV: "Help me Obi-wan. You're my only hope." Princess Leia's words would have no special notation since her image is there in the room (at the scene location) and we see her speaking.

Did I miss anything? If you believe I did, then zip me off an email. Meanwhile, keep writing!

NOTE: The above topic and hundreds of others are discussed in the new 7th edition of The Screenwriter's Bible, now available for purchase at www.amazon.com and www.keepwriting.com.

 

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APRIL 2020

IS IT INSERTABLE?

QUESTION

Why do you go BACK TO SCENE again after an INSERT? Aren't we already in the scene?

ANSWER

The INSERT is a special heading that interrupts the scene, and BACK TO SCENE tells us we are now back to the main action. If you didn't write BACK TO SCENE, you probably wouldn't confuse anyone, but that's how all special headings of one scene in length work. Thus, a MONTAGE or a FLASHBACK or a DREAM would follow the same convention:

INT. BEDROOM – DAY

Little Joey falls asleep.

DREAM – THE MONSTER

Little Joey hears movement under his bed. He sits up, trembles, and then leans over his bedside to take a peek.

It's the Post Golden Crisp Sugar Bear who slides out from under the bed, puts his hands behind his head, crosses his legs, and starts crooning his cereal jingle.

BACK TO SCENE

Little Joey sits up in bed and starts singing the jingle.

Rather than BACK TO SCENE, I could have written BACK TO THE BEDROOM.

Handle an INSERT in exactly the same way. The purpose of the INSERT is to draw attention to something specific, often an object, a note, or a letter.

(I should mention that in an actual script, I wouldn't rely on the Post Golden Crisp Sugar Bear because I don't own the rights to that character. I'd make up something original. The above example is just to illustrate.)

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

Why use an INSERT in the first place?

ANSWER

These days, INSERTs are seldom used, and when they are used, it's usually for a long note or letter. Thus, you don't have to use the INSERT at all in your spec script.

Here's an example of the INSERT as it was used in the past:

Big Mack opens the note.

INSERT – THE NOTE

                    "It's over, Baby."

BACK TO SCENE

Yes, you should indent the content of a note or letter just like you would dialogue.

What follows is what you are most likely to see in a screenplay today.

Big Mack opens the note. It reads: "It's over, Baby."

If you want the content of the note to pop out better to a reader, write it as a separate paragraph. And keep writing!

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MARCH 2020

BUT I LOVE THAT SHOT!

QUESTION

[This question comes from a client after reading my evaluation of his script.] But Dave, that’s the way I want the scene shot!

ANSWER

I realize that is what you want, but you’ll make a better impression on readers and producers if you avoid camera directions and special shots. Only use them if you have an overriding dramatic or comedic purpose for them. I suggest you look for a more readable way to present your material to a reader (who is almost always the first person to read your script and recommend it or not recommend it to producers, agents, and talent).

But there is other reason: the scene is not going to be shot that way anyway.

That’s the odds. Why? Here are the reasons:

• After your spec script is converted into a shooting script, the production manager or others will try to find locations that fit their budget. The location or set they choose will not likely match exactly what you had in mind, which could result in some changes to the scene.
• The budget may not allow for certain shots or for many "set-ups" that involve changing camera position and lighting.
• The director will need to block the scene in accordance with the location or sound stage (and set decoration) he or she is using.
• Actors may add their two cents.
• Finally, some dialogue may need to be cut or changed; some lines may need to be added to fill out the scene.
• Sometimes what is written on paper doesn’t translate to the silver screen. May I give you an example?

The thematic pier scene in Little Miss Sunshine was originally written for Dwayne and Frank to float on the ocean to add the symbolism of a baptism (new birth) when a wave crashes over them, but it didn’t work when they tried to shoot it that way. In fact, with the waves crashing over them became humorous. Thus, in the movie, the scene takes place on a pier overlooking the ocean. The essence of the scene remains unchanged; it still achieves the purpose the writer intended, but not in the way the writer envisioned.

Your goal is to make sure the narrative description and dialogue are written wonderfully so that the scene’s purpose isn’t lost. After all, movie-making is a collaborative effort.

It's true that many movie scenes are shot the way they are written, but in reality, the spec script is not a blueprint for the eventual movie, but a guide to it. Its main purpose is to emotionally involve a reader who can recommend it. Present enough specific detail in your scene that the reader can "see" the action, "feel" the emotion, and "get" the scene, but don’t try to direct the scene with camera directions or through other means which are not acceptable anyway. And keep writing!

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FEBRUARY 2020

PITCHING YOUR SCRIPT

QUESTION

We continue to use Movie Magic Screenwriter software and enjoy it very much. We have completed a feature-length script and are looking to promote it. During our online travels, education, and feedback, it has been suggested that one way to promote the script is to send via email the tagline, logline and short background to producers to gain interest. Is this something you might recommend or is there another presentation process or form you might suggest?

ANSWER

The logline or concept statement that you mention is generally how you open a pitch. A logline is the complete story in one sentence; for example, here is the logline for E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial:

An alien child is accidentally left behind on earth, but some earth children help him find his way home.

A concept statement or tagline focus on the core concept of the story, and it can often be used as a logline. Here's an example from Air Force One:

Terrorists hijack Air Force One.

Most pitches benefit from a strong Big Event, as does the example above. The hijacking is the Big Event. (The Big Event is the major plot point that changes the central characters life at the end of Act 1 at about pages 20-30.)

A premise is usually expressed as a "what if" question. For example:

What if Peter Pan grew up?

That's the hook for Hook. And, incidentally, a hook is any brief statement (logline, concept, or premise) that hooks the reader or listener into the story.

You approach producers with a pitch, but that pitch can come in different forms:

1. A written query letter, which is one page with about 3-4 short paragraphs that present the story concept and enough of the story to entice the reader to ask for the script. It seldom gives away the ending. This is mailed or emailed.
2. A written one-sheet, which is essentially a one-page synopsis that contains beginning, middle, and end of your story, and will likely open with the logline or concept statement. The one-sheet is usually left behind after a pitching session at a pitch fest or pitch meeting. Think of it as your business card. It can be mailed or emailed just like a query.
   
   Incidentally, don't attach anything to an email. It won't be opened for fear of a virus.
3. An oral pitch in some kind of meeting or casual gathering or telephone conversation or similar situation.

For a greater explanation of these, check out The Screenwriter's Bible at https://www.keepwriting.com/tsc/swbible.htm and keep writing!

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JANUARY 2020

ABBREVIATIONS

QUESTION

A writer friend told me something I haven’t been able to verify. He said that we need write out words like "Mister" and "Doctor" in dialogue when used with a name.

ANSWER

Let me provide an example of what you mean for the other readers:

                                        SALLY
                    Well, Doctor Roberts, what do
                    you see?

The above is correct, and it’s true that you should not abbreviate words in dialogue. However, the notable exceptions are very common, frequently used words like "Mister" and "Doctor." These are so commonly used, that it’s okay to write Mr., Mrs. Dr., and Ms. in dialogue. Thus, the above example is correct, and the example below is correct:

                                        SALLY
                    Well, Dr. Roberts, what do you
                    see?

SPACES AFTER A PERIOD

QUESTION

How many spaces after a period, two or one?

ANSWER

Two or one. Really, it’s either. In ancient days when I was but a lad using a typewriter, periods were always followed by two spaces. If you are in the habit of doing that, you may continue to do so. These days, periods are usually followed by one space. If you are in the habit of doing that, you may continue to do so. Both styles are correct. No one is counting.

FADING IN WITH A QUOTE

QUESTION

I have a quick question regarding FADE IN. When opening with a quote over a BLACK SCREEN, is it proper to follow with the use of FADE IN as a transition into the first scene heading?

ANSWER

Yes. And it’s also expected. Here is an example:

A BLACK SCREEN

SUPER: "Two can live as cheaply as one, but only half as long"

FADE IN:

EXT. LOS ANGELES – DAY

If you prefer, you may place the term FADE IN flush to the right margin, which is perfectly okay. Just keep writing!

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DECEMBER 2019

GETTING ANIMATED

QUESTION

I am working on a script for a film that would contain several short animated segments. How should these be worked into the script? Is there a standard format for this?

ANSWER

Handle it just the way you'd handle a DREAM or FLASHBACK or MONTAGE that you need to work into the script. Here's one possible way:

ANIMATION -- SILLY BILLY MEETS THE MONKEY MAN

And then describe your scene or sequence of shots, just as you would with a MONTAGE or DREAM SEQUENCE.

We often forget that there are basic principles behind formatting. These aren't just a bunch of arbitrary rules. So don't be afraid to extrapolate from some known principle if you come up with a new screenwriting situation. What if the above were a dream sequence? Handle it like this:

DREAM -- SILLY BILLY MEETS THE MONKEY MAN

or:

EXT. AMAZON JUNGLE - DREAM

Silly Billy and his friends hike the jungle trail. Suddenly, the Monkey Man drops out of a tree.

...And so on.

What if you have an animated dream? Just call it that, an ANIMATED DREAM.

If you have a particularly long FLASHBACK, DREAM, MONTAGE, SERIES OF SHOTS, or ANIMATED SEQUENCE, handle it like this:

BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE

And then write out all of the scenes in the sequence, just as you would normally write scenes, and then end the sequence with this:

END OF DREAM SEQUENCE

Just apply fundamental formatting principles. As screenwriters, we must understand formatting to fully understand spec writing. This is something I really get animated about.

NOTE: The new, 7th edition of The Screenwriter’s Bible is now available here: https://www.keepwriting.com/store.htm

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NOVEMBER 2019

THE RIGHT LEADING LADY

QUESTION

If I have written a screenplay with a specific actress in mind for the lead, and that actress is an executive of her own production company, should I notate that the lead was written for her when I query her company?

ANSWER

First, I will answer your question, and then I will give you a warning.

Yes, indicate as much in your query letter or other correspondence (but not in the screenplay). Let them know it was written for her.

Now the warning: there is a danger in writing anything for any actor. You take a chance of creating a character that comes across as derivative, unoriginal, or flat. The last thing you want is for the reader of your script to say, "I've seen this character in other movies." Your character should be original and fresh. It's okay to have that right leading lady in your mind as long as you heed the above warning at the same time.

INSERTION ORDER

QUESTION

If I have written a screenplay with a specific actress in mind for the lead, and that actress is an executive of her own production company, should I notate that the lead was written for her when I query her company?

INSERT – A COFFEE MUG, which reads:

         "To protect and serve."

BACK TO SCENE

ANSWER

Although the above is perfectly correct and perfectly okay to use, you are free to use the following method, which is also correct and more in line with today’s sensibilities:

A coffee mug reads, "To protect and serve."

When faced with a choice like this, I usually opt for the simplest version as long as it is clear. These days, the INSERT is generally only used for long notes, so the second version is my personal preferred method. Whether you use the INSERT or not, make sure you insert your best writing into your screenplay. Good luck and keep writing!

NOTE: The new, 7th edition of The Screenwriter’s Bible is now available here: https://www.keepwriting.com/store.htm

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OCTOBER 2019

GIVE ME A SIGN

QUESTION

How is sign language indicated in a screenplay?

ANSWER

The real question is this: How do I indicate sign language (or signing) so that the audience will understand what is being signed. In other words, how is the sign “language” communicated to the audience?

General audiences, as a whole, are not familiar with signing, so usually (in a movie) the mute person’s meaning is communicated to the audience in one of four ways: orally, through an interpreter, through subtitles, or with italics. Let's look at all four methods.

1. Orally. If the mute person speaks as she signs, then simply write the words she says as dialogue:

                    DALLIN
                (while signing)
          Do you understand what I said?

If the mute person is a major character, then indicate once in the narrative description that the mute person signs whenever he/she talks; that way, you won’t need to include a parenthetical for each block of dialogue.

2. Through an interpreter. I doubt this would work very well except on a limited basis, but you could have a speaking character interpret what the mute character signs. The speaking character's words would appear as dialogue.

3. Through subtitles. If you want the meaning of the sign language written out in subtitles across the screen, then write out that meaning using the same format used in #1 above, except use the following parenthetical:

                    DALLIN
                (signing; with subtitles)
          Do you understand what I signed?

The above method assumes that at least one other character in the scene can understand Dallin's sign language.

If there is a lot of signing in a scene, then it is okay to write a note in narrative description that "the following conversation is signed without any words spoken; the meaning appears as SUBTITLES and is written below as dialogue." Be careful not to confuse the reader. As always in spec writing, your goal is to be as clear and unobtrusive as you can.

4. With italics. The following method should only be used if it doesn’t matter that the audience may not understand, since there are no subtitles, so this method would be used rarely:

                    DALLIN (SIGNS)
          Do you understand what I signed?

Signing is seldom used in movies, but a recent successful movie did: A Quiet Place. Notice how subtitles were handled there, and keep writing!

NOTE: The new, 7th edition of The Screenwriter’s Bible is now available here: https://www.keepwriting.com/store.htm

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SEPTEMBER 2019

CAPS, ITALICS, DASHES AND ELLIPSES

QUESTION

When do I use a dash or an ellipsis in dialogue? Also, are there guidelines for emphasizing a word or phrase in a speech? For example, do I use italics or all-CAPS to emphasize that word or phrase?

ANSWER

As a general guideline for dialogue, do not place any words in all-CAPS or italics. The exceptions are song lyrics and the words of text messages, when written in this manner:

                    JOHN (TEXT)
          I luv U.

If you must emphasize a word or phrase of dialogue, underscore it. Also, never use more than one exclamation point at the end of a sentence, and use exclamation points sparingly. Your dialogue should not look like a want ad!!!!

If a character interrupts or is interrupted, use a dash to show that interruption. To show continuity of thought, use an ellipsis. What follows is an example of Mary interrupting John and then John continuing Mary's sentence.

                    JOHN
          What I want --

                    MARY
          -- Don't tell me what you... ah..

                   JOHN
          ... want?

To be honest, in dialogue punctuation, these two punctuation marks are often used interchangeable. However, if you use them for specific purposes in your script, you will enhance your ability to communicate your story.

GOING CAPS CRAZY

QUESTION

[In narrative description] should my characters' names ALWAYS appear in all-CAPS, or only at first mention?

ANSWER

Place the individual character's name in all-CAPS only when he or she first physically appears in the screenplay. That means you don't need to place the name in all-CAPS when the person is mentioned in dialogue, nor do you need to place the name in all-CAPS after that first time that she first physically appears.

Keep in mind that CAPS are hard to read, so don't go CAPS crazy. Character first appearances and rare technical/camera directions are the only instances where all-CAPS must be used in narrative description. You may place SOUNDS in all-CAPS if you wish, but do not place props or objects in all-CAPS.

INSERTION ORDER

QUESTION

Must I always use an INSERT for a close-up? For example, do I have to use the INSERT for the following:

INSERT – A COFFEE MUG, which reads:

          "To protect and serve."

BACK TO SCENE

ANSWER

Although the above is perfectly correct and perfectly okay to use, you are free to use the following method, which is also correct:

A coffee mug reads, "To protect and serve."

When faced with a choice like this, opt for the simplest version as long as it is clear. In this case, it is. And keep writing.

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AUGUST 2019

GETTING THE TREATMENT

QUESTION

I understand what the treatment is and what it is used for, but I'm getting mixed information about length. You once stated that most treatments are about two to seven pages, but there are some articles online that state that a treatment could be twenty-five or more pages. To add to my confusion, I came across treatments for ALIENS and TERMINATOR that were around forty-five pages in length. Could you please clarify?

ANSWER

Your treatment should be usually about 2-7 pages when it is used to sell your project; that is, when it is used to entice people to ask for your screenplay. My rule-of-thumb is to use as few pages as necessary to sell the material since Hollywood types don't like to read more than they have to.

Usually, your first contact with someone in the business is through a written query letter or an oral pitch. If the query or pitch does its job, then the agent, producer, or executive will likely request a copy of the script, but he/she could ask for a treatment first or for both the script and a treatment. If a treatment is requested, it's easy to ask the requesting party what he/she is looking for in terms of length.

On rare occasion, a producer may request that a treatment or synopsis be included with a query. In such rare cases, the page length will be implied or stated.

As you can see, with the above two scenarios, it's easy to determine about how many pages the agent or producer is looking for. Keep in mind that a treatment can be as long or short as the producer or agent who requests it wants it to be.

If you are an established writer or have some kind of track record, you might be able to sell a treatment or use it to get a deal to write the eventual script. In those cases, use as few pages as necessary to adequately "treat" the story. That will usually be 2-7 pages, but it can be longer in some instances. A friend of mine recently wrote two successful treatments; one was three pages in length, and the other was ten pages. He told me the first story needed fewer pages than the second to sell.

In the case of a development deal (where a producer hires you to write a script from scratch), you might be asked to write a 45 to 50-page treatment before writing the first draft of the screenplay. In your question, you referred to two 45-page treatments, one for ALIENS and the other for TERMINATOR; those projects were developed, and that’s the reason for the long treatments.

I mentioned earlier the term synopsis. Although a synopsis can be used as another term for treatment, a synopsis usually refers to a one-page story summary. Depending on who is asking for it, it could be written to inform or to sell. Whichever it is, keep writing!

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JULY 2019

OVERHEARD CONVERSATIONS

QUESTION

What should I do in the situation where there are two sets of people talking, and I want the audience to overhear one set while the main focus is on the other?

ANSWER

I think you want something like this:

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Jojo and Jane sit down at a table. A waiter hands them menus.

In a booth behind them, across the aisle, Fatty and Slim plan. Jojo and Jane cannot hear them.

                    SLIM
          Wait 'til they leave.

Slim angrily eyes Jojo and Jane, who study their menus.

                    FATTY (O.S.)
          I'll follow them out to their car

                    SLIM (O.S.)
          They'll get what they deserve for not
          formatting their script correctly.

Jojo lifts a feature script from his briefcase and places it on the table.

                    FATTY (O.S.)
                (incredulously)
          Don't they read Dr. Format's column?

In the above scene, the focus is on Jojo and Jane. As you can see, most of the dialogue between Fatty and Slim is spoken off screen (O.S.). That way, the audience’s eyes are mainly on Jojo and Jane.

A different approach would be to show Jojo and Jane overhearing the conversation between Fatty and Slim.

ACTION BREAKS

QUESTION

When should I break to another paragraph when describing the action in a screenplay?

ANSWER

A very general rule-of-thumb is one paragraph per image or beat of action. The following segment presents four beats; thus, four paragraphs:

Fatty opens his trench coat to reveal a chain saw.

At the sound of the chain saw starting, Jojo and Jane back up against their car. Jojo shields them with their screenplay.

Fatty saws the screenplay in half, turns off the chain saw, and saunters away.

Jojo and Jane stare dumbfounded at their shredded screenplay.

Keep writing…in correct format!

 

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JUNE 2019

LOCATION HIERARCHY

QUESTION

I hope you may be able to settle a minor disagreement between a colleague and I regarding the correct format for master scene headings (slug lines). When I write a new location without a preceding establishing shot, I usually start with the specific room or area in which the action takes place, and then move outwards. For example:

INT. LOBBY, FOUR SEASONS HOTEL, LOS ANGELES - NIGHT

In my mind, this offers the most clarity as the first image the reader will conjure up is of a lobby in a swanky hotel, which happens to be in Los Angeles. My colleague, however, believes that the information should be presented in the reverse manner, as follows:

INT. LOS ANGELES, FOUR SEASONS HOTEL, LOBBY - NIGHT

So which is correct?

ANSWER

Your colleague wins the bet. But you also win because you asked the question. You should start with the larger location (identifying the primary or master location) and work down to the smaller location (or secondary location that is part of the primary location). The scene heading would actually look more like this:

INT. LOS ANGELES - FOUR SEASON HOTEL - LOBBY – NIGHT

However, that would not look right because a shot of Los Angeles would have to be an exterior shot, not an interior shot. In this case, I suggest you establish Los Angeles first, as follows:

EXT. LOS ANGELES - NIGHT

The city is alive with pedestrians and traffic. In the distance sits the Four Seasons Hotel.

INT. FOUR SEASONS HOTEL - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS

And you probably don’t need the CONTINUOUS, since that is already obvious. The above example communicates to the reader that we open in Los Angeles and then move towards the hotel.

Another approach is to open with an exterior of the hotel, and then cut to the lobby. In that case, you could communicate that the hotel is in Los Angeles via a sign on the wall or through dialogue. Or, you could open in the interior of the hotel and still identify the city, as follows:

INT. FOUR SEASONS HOTEL – LOBBY (LOS ANGELES) – DAY

Or place the parenthetical at the end of the scene heading.

PAGE 1

QUESTION

If you use a quote to open the script on the page preceding FADE IN, is that page considered page 1, or is the next page beginning with FADE IN still considered the first page?

ANSWER

The page beginning with FADE IN is always page 1.

As a general suggestion, don't place a quote on a separate page between the title page and page 1. If that quote is important, and if you want the audience to see it on the movie screen, then it should appear on page 1. Thus, page 1 would look something like this:

BLACK SCREEN

SUPER: "Two can live as cheaply as one, but only half as long. – Dave Trottier"

FADE IN:

A piggy bank.

Page 1 should not have a page number typed on it; but page two, and all pages thereafter, will have page numbers appearing in the upper right corner.

Good luck and keep writing!

Get your copy of Dr. Format Tells All at a reduced price at https://www.keepwriting.com/drformat/index.htm

 

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MAY 2019

WHERE'S THE CAMERA?

QUESTION

How do you indicate that you are in the cockpit of an airplane in flight looking out at the landscape below? In this case in a B24 looking down at a city. I had INT./EXT. COCKPIT, LANDSCAPE – DAY. Then in the action line below, "Nan looks down at the city." But how will we know the airplane is in flight?

ANSWER

If Nan looks down at the city, the airplane must be in flight.

The terms INT. and EXT. refer to camera position. Thus, if Nan is in the plane looking down, your scene heading would be written as follows:

INT. B24 AIRPLANE – DAY

Nan looks down at the city.

That means the camera is inside the plane and shooting through the window at the city below.

If it's an extended scene where the camera could conceivably be inside the plane at times and outside the plane at times, then write:

INT./EXT. B24 AIRPLANE – DAY

HOW TO WRITE A SCRIPT

QUESTION

Do you work on your script as one continuous document or do you break it into smaller stand-alone sections so you can move them around and collate them later on? What do you advise?

ANSWER

That's a great question. Personally, I write the script as one document, but I usually know where I am going before I start. Even so, the ending can, and often does, change during the writing process.

Francis Ford Coppola writes the third act first, as did David Seidler for The King's Speech. Whether you choose to write the ending first or simply figure out how your story will end when you outline it, I think it is helpful to know something about the end from the beginning.

One key is to find a method that works best for you. There's not one perfect method that I believe everyone should use. Some writers like to write blind and see where their intuition (and their characters) lead them.

Besides understanding where you are going, I also recommend that you write what occurs to you. For example, sometimes you get an idea for a particular scene. Write it now while you have that creative energy for it. Also, in the revising process, you may wish to work on particular scenes regardless of where they are in the screenplay.

Finally, regardless of your approach to writing the first draft, I recommend that you lay down that first draft quickly—beginning, middle, and end. It's important to see what you have. Many professional writers lay down that first draft in a week or so to determine whether or not what they have has potential and what needs to be done next. It's like a sculptor molding the clay into basic form to see what she has and if it's going to work.

And keep writing!

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APRIL 2019

CLARITY WITH THE INTERCUT

QUESTION

I have a question involving intercuts. I need it for a scene that's not a phone conversation, but actually involving three households all on the same night all getting a knock on their door. There are different conversations that happen in each household, which is why I feel weird writing the dialogue stacked like it's all one conversation. I'm not sure if intercut is the best option or just writing a new slug line [scene heading] each time. Can intercuts happen with three different locations?

ANSWER

Keep in mind the key principle, and that is clarity. The main thing is to be clear. You can do an intercut with three locations, but the heading would look something like this:

INTERCUT – JOE'S HOUSE/SUE'S HOUSE/JIM'S HOUSE

And then you'd want to keep us oriented.

At Jim's house, Jim opens his front door.

And so on. Or, you could use master scene headings. Either way.

Perhaps a better solution is to use a montage, depending on how short each "image" in the montage is; and, yes, you can include dialogue in a montage.

SCREEN SPLITTING

QUESTION

In my current script, a man and a woman compete for one job opening. They are treated very differently by the boss and co-workers on their respective first days of work. I would like to show the difference using a SPLIT SCREEN as opposed to an INTERCUT, or a straight-forward presentation of one scene and then the next.

Can you recommend a format that, as the scene progresses over 2-3 pages, would keep the action clear? While the action/dialogue proceeds on one side of the screen, how would you address the "dead time" on the other side of the screen? Would quick back and forth between screens address that problem? I also thought of starting with a SPLIT SCREEN that then alternately WIPES or ROLLS into a FULL SCREEN to show just the action/dialogue on that side.

ANSWER

I see several problems with your proposal. Running two scenes simultaneously on the screen could easily confuse the audience and pull them right out of the movie. The best effects don't call attention to themselves, but to the story.

Second, you mention problems with "dead time," and solving those by WIPING and ROLLING to FULL SCREEN. Do you see that you are creating problems by using the SPLIT SCREEN device in the first place?

Third, I worry that you might be getting more involved in directing the movie than writing it. In those few movies that have used a SPLIT SCREEN, it usually became part of the style for the whole movie. In other words, the device was not used only once. Also, it is usually only used for telephone conversations and, as such, is usually formatted like the INTERCUT. A better option might be an INTERCUT where you alternate locations. However, you'd want to be absolutely clear.

If you decide to go ahead anyway because you have an overriding story reason to use this technique, you are probably going to have to split several pages of your screenplay; in other words, you'd have to write the scenes side-by-side in two columns. You would also have to CUT or WIPE to full screen on occasion. Just write it that way.

My recommendation, however, is to avoid using a SPLIT SCREEN, be clear, and keep writing.

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MARCH 2019

CAPPING CHARACTERS

QUESTION

I was told by someone that I should only place in all-CAPS the names of characters who have speaking parts. Therefore, the following example would be incorrect:

EMMY MAE pushes past a group of STUNNED ONLOOKERS as she makes her way to the podium.

Should I only CAP the name of the individual characters that have names, or is it okay to CAP the groups of people themselves (in this case, STUNNED ONLOOKERS)?

ANSWER

When a character with a name (whether or not he has a speaking part) first physically appears in the screenplay, you should place that character's name in all-CAPS that one time. You do not need to CAP the names of groups of people.

If you have an individual character that does not have a name, but who is identified by function or looks, I recommend that you place that character's name in all-CAPS the moment she first physically appears in the screenplay (whether or not she has a speaking part). For example, you could write STOCKY COP or SALESLADY 1 when those two characters appear for the first time in the script.

Let's return to your example and format it in accordance with my recommendations. I am assuming that all of these people are appearing in this screenplay for the first time

EMMY MAE pushes past a group of stunned onlookers as she makes her way to the podium.

A BURLY SECURITY GUARD moves towards Emma Mae.

CAPPING ACTION

QUESTION

I was told by someone that I should only place in all-CAPS the names of characters who have speaking parts. Therefore, the following example would be incorrect:

Duke WAVES to Lassie as he drives off.

ANSWER

Don't place actions in all-CAPS. CAPS are hard on the eyes, and the reader might think you are trying to indicate a sound.

Since the primary purpose of narrative description is to describe action, you do not need any emphasis. I like the fact that your example focuses on a verb. If you use specific, concrete action verbs in your description, you'll likely catch the reader's attention.

Good luck and keep writing!

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FEBRUARY 2019

SUCCESS IN 2019

QUESTION

How do I get off to a good start in the new year?

ANSWER

There are books on the subject. You've already read articles explaining in detail how to succeed in the new year. I'm going to make it easy for you with a simple but powerful tool.

Once every week, create a Weekly Action Plan of specific steps or actions you will take during the coming week towards achieving your overall goals. Thus, your first step is to make a few goals for the coming year. Make them specific, perhaps one for each screenwriting endeavor: 1) writing, 2) learning, and 3) selling.

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

But how do I keep myself going and motivated?

DAVE'S ANSWER

My wife was at the gym last January, and her exercise class was jammed, as it usually is that month because virtually everyone there has made a New Year's resolution to exercise, lose weight, or firm up. A seasoned exercise queen stood up and shouted, “Those of you who are going to quit by March, please leave now. You know who you are.”

I laughed when I heard the story, but it begs the question, How are you going to keep from quitting in March?

With a Weekly Action Plan, that's how.

Like you, I am a writer. Let's say I want to write a screenplay this year. That's the goal. I can identify milestones on the way to the goal; for example, research, outline, rough draft, and so on.

On each Sunday (or other day of the week), I will sit down and decide what I will do this week to achieve that action goal. I may commit to a certain amount of time that I will devote during the week towards this goal. It could be Tuesday and Thursday night from 6 to 10, or 15 total hours of writing during the week.

Would you like to have a handy one-page Weekly Action Plan worksheet? For readers of SCREENPLAY SCOOP only, I will email you a Weekly Action Plan worksheet free. Just email me your request at dave@keepwriting.com. You can make as many copies of the worksheet as you would like. Or, if you prefer, visit page 336 in your copy of the sixth edition of The Screenwriter's Bible, or check your copy's index. It will help you to keep writing!

The power comes in making specific commitments and then doing your best during the week to achieve your weekly action goals. Do this every week! If you don't keep your commitment precisely, don't fret or give up. Focus on your progress, not on perfection. Reward yourself for your accomplishments.

What will you accomplish in this new year? Use your Weekly Action Plan. Keep writing, keep learning, and keep selling in 2019!

---

JANUARY 2019

A NUMBERS GAME

QUESTION

Could you please tell me if it's necessary to spell out the following numbers within the dialogue portion of my script?

• dollar amounts
• years
• proper names, when the number is part of the name.

ANSWER

In dialogue, all numbers should be written out as words except for years and proper names. The following is correct:

                          JAN
          In 1999, I paid three thousand
          dollars for a twenty-five pound
          full-scale replica of R2-D2.

In addition, don't abbreviate words you can spell out, such as Dr. (for Doctor) or CA (for California). This general guideline about numbers and abbreviations only applies to character speeches (dialogue) and not to the character name above the speech or to narrative description.

DIALOGUE IN MONTAGE

QUESTION

I've got a MONTAGE of shots that shows the passage of time. It also requires a VOICE OVER conversation. Should all the MONTAGE shot descriptions be listed first, followed by the entire V.O. dialogue? Or should the dialogue be interspersed between the shot descriptions.

ANSWER

Interspersed. Insert the dialogue at the point in the action that the audience would hear it or should hear it for dramatic or comedic effect. What follows is an example.

MONTAGE – LARRY'S DREAM

-- Larry, wearing an orange cape, races into a building. He is chased by a mob firing weapons at him.

                        LARRY (V.O.)
          I knew I was powerful...

-- Larry bounds up the stairs.

                        LARRY (V.O.)
          ... but I wasn't sure I could
          fly.

-- Larry bursts through a rooftop door, races to the edge, hesitates, and tentatively jumps off. He falls like a rock.

                        LARRY (V.O.)
          What do you think it means, Doc?

INT. PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE

Larry lies on a couch. Nearby, the psychiatrist looks stumped.

                        PSYCHIATRIST
          Did you land on your head?

 

THE END

QUESTION

At the end of a script do you recommend THE END and then FADE OUT, or is it just FADE OUT?

ANSWER

It's your choice. However, if you write both, the FADE OUT should come before THE END.

FADE OUT.

THE END

 

---

DECEMBER 2018

LET ME UNDERSCORE THIS POINT

QUESTION

What's the best way for me to stress a word of dialogue? By italicizing it, bolding it, or placing it in all-CAPS.

ANSWER

None of the above. If you must emphasize a word or phrase, underscore it.

ACTION BREAKS

QUESTION

When should I break to another paragraph when describing the action in a screenplay?

ANSWER

A very general rule-of-thumb is one paragraph per image or beat of action. The following segment presents four beats; thus, four paragraphs.

EXT. STUDIO LOT – DAY

The movie producer opens his trench coat to reveal a chain saw.

At the sound of the chain saw revving, Greg and Linda back up against their Smart Car. Linda shields them with their screenplay.

The producer saws the screenplay in half, flips off the chain saw, and saunters away while whistling a happy tune.

Greg and Linda stare dumbfounded at their shredded screenplay.

Please do not misunderstand. This is not to imply that producers will shred your screenplay once they get their hands on it, nor is this a release of any pent-up feelings I may have regarding certain producers from my past. :-)

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

How long can a paragraph be?

ANSWER

Limit paragraphs of narrative description (action) to no more than four lines. That's purely arbitrary, but it's based on the general idea that the longer the paragraph, the least likely it will be read.

Also, any time you want to emphasize a particular action, give it its own paragraph, and keep writing!

 

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NOVEMBER 2018

CAPPING CHARACTERS

QUESTION

I was told by someone that I should only place in all-CAPS the names of characters who have speaking parts. Therefore, the following example would be incorrect:

EMMY MAE pushes past a group of STUNNED ONLOOKERS as she makes her way to the podium.

Should I only CAP the name of the individual characters that have names, or is it okay to CAP the groups of people themselves (in this case, STUNNED ONLOOKERS).

ANSWER

When a character with a name (whether or not he has a speaking part) first physically appears in narrative description in the screenplay, you should place that character's name in all-CAPS that one time. You do not need to CAP the names of groups of people, but you may if you wish.

If you have an individual character that does not have a name, but who is identified by function or looks, I recommend that you place that character's name in all-CAPS the moment she first physically appears in the screenplay (whether or not she has a speaking part). For example, you could write STOCKY COP or SNEAKY SALESLADY when those two characters appear for the first time in the script.

Let's return to your example and format it in accordance to my recommendations. I am assuming that all of these people are appearing in this screenplay for the first time.

EMMY MAE pushes past a group of stunned onlookers as she makes her way to the podium.

A BURLY SECURITY GUARD moves towards Emma Mae.

WHERE TO LOCATE THE LOCATION

QUESTION

I'm trying to write a scene where the end of the scene is part of another location.

For example, Jim squats in his neighbor's yard to defecate, and then I cut to a close up of chocolate yogurt being dispensed at another location. My question is this: should I keep the shock suspense by formatting the cut as follows:.

EXT. NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE – DAY

Jim pulls down his drawers and squats over his neighbor's lawn.

CLOSE UP: A swirl of chocolate drops.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT. ICE CREAM PARLOR – DAY

The ice cream man hands a child a bowl of chocolate yogurt.

ANSWER

First of all, delete your reference to CLOSE UP. The camera direction is unnecessary because your description of "a swirl of chocolate" implies a CLOSE UP.

Since the chocolate swirl of yogurt drops at the ice cream parlor and not on the lawn, the description should appear under the scene heading (slug line) for the ICE CREAM PARLOR. Thus, the following would be correct:

EXT. NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE – DAY

Jim marches onto the new-mown lawn and stops. He glares at his neighbor's front window, pulls down his drawers, and squats.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT. ICE CREAM PARLOR – DAY

A swirl of chocolate drops.

The ice cream man hands a child a bowl of chocolate yogurt.

I'd like to make two comments regarding the above revision. First, notice that I changed the narrative description a little to add a little drama and characterization to the scene.

Second, I used the "CUT TO." Faithful readers know that I recommend excluding editing directions (such as the CUT TO) from spec scripts. Certainly, you don't need the "CUT TO" in the above revision; it would be "correct" without it. The reason I kept it is to drawn attention to the visual gag. Assuming there are no other (or very few) editing directions in the script, the reader's eye will be drawn to this one.

---

OCTOBER 2018

VOICE OVER ACTION

QUESTION

Is the following correct? It's the only way I can figure out how to format it.

INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY

The judge looks doubtful.

                    JUDGE
          I need to know more about
          the incident.

                    PROSECUTOR (V.O.)
          Well, your honor, according to the
          proprietor, the defendant blah,
          blah, blah....

SERIES OF COORDINATED SHOTS TO (V.O.) ABOVE

-- Night life along the beach [to set tone].

-- Inside building, lots of noise, music, smoke....

-- At other end of the building, patrons....

-- A fight breaks out and bouncers pounce....

BACK TO PRESENT COURT SCENE

                    JUDGE
          Good Lord! Anything else?

ANSWER

I realize that the above is purposely brief to save space. Naturally, you would want your descriptions of shots to be more specific and visually clear. And, of course, you would write out every word the prosecutor says. Having noted that, let's discuss your problem.

The above is poor format. If you are going to have the prosecutor speak while we see visual images, then you should write in that fashion. Don’t worry about "coordinate shots"; the coordination will be clear by how your place the action and dialogue. Here's a partial revision to illustrate what I mean.

                    PROSECUTOR
          Well, your honor, according to the
          proprietor...

EXT. BOARDWALK - NIGHT

The defendant runs by and glances at the building.

                    PROSECUTOR (V.O.)
          ... he saw the defendant jogging...

The defendant notices smoke pouring out of a window.

And then you would continue the narration over the visual description. The idea is to describe what we will visually see on the movie screen. At the end of this scene, you could write:

INT. COURTROOM - CONTINUOUS

There is a potential problem in proceeding in the above manner. As a general rule, the narration should not repeat what the audience is already seeing on the silver screen. Perhaps a more effective approach to this scene would be to let the prosecutor begin his explanation, and then cut to the boardwalk along the beach and show us what happened without any voice over narration.

---

SEPTEMBER 2018

THAT DOGGONE RIGHT MARGIN

QUESTION

As I understand it, the right margin of a script should be at one-half inch, but I have seen the right margin of some scripts at anywhere from a half inch to 1.5 inches. What is correct?

ANSWER

They all are. The right margin is normally at one-half inch to one inch. However, if your screenplay length is bit short and you need to add pages, you might consider creating more white space on each of the pages—that's one reason you might have a right margin of more than an inch. It's your call. However, the following always applies: Left margin should be 1.5 inches, right margin should be no shorter than one-half inch, and the right margin should be ragged.

If you use Movie Magic Screenwriter or Final Draft, use their default margins and tabs. That way, you can worry about more important things…like writing the script.

HOW TO WRITE A CLOSE UP

QUESTION

I find it difficult to write without including camera shots. In the following two examples, a camera shot is needed, but which would be more acceptable?

EXT. HOUSE - DAY

CLOSE SHOT

Mark opens the door.

Or, would this be better:

EXT. HOUSE - DAY

CLOSE ON Mark as he opens the door.

ANSWER

I do not see a reason for either camera direction. The following is more acceptable and more readable, plus it implies a CLOSE UP of Mark and the door:

EXT. HOUSE - DAY

Mark opens the door.

If you want an extreme CLOSE UP, then it would read something like this:

EXT. HOUSE – DAY

Mark's hand turns the door knob.

Relax and keep writing!

---

AUGUST 2018

DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?

QUESTION

A character in my story is experiencing the after effects of a drug he has mistakenly taken. When writing what he sees and hears, how should I format it? Should I just describe what he sees, or put a slugline of "intoxicated vision" or something before that?

ANSWER

Let's call this guy Slim. If Slim's "intoxicated vision" is a hallucination or a vision of something that is not real or actually happening, then use a scene heading (slug line) similar to this:

SLIM'S HALLUCINATION

or...

SLIM'S DRUG-INDUCED VISION

...and then describe it.

However, if what Slim sees is real, but is distorted because of the drugs, then you simply describe what he sees:

Slim sees everything in bright colors. Shapes are distorted. Sylvia's head looks like a talking green papaya.

...And so on.

HE SAYS, SHE SAYS

QUESTION

If my plot is about a female character disguising herself as a male, do I head her dialogue as JACK or JANE AS JACK or what? Also, in the description, do I refer to this character as he or she?

ANSWER

The character is Jane, so you should refer to her as Jane in the narrative description, and you should use the feminine pronouns "she" and "her" in narrative description. However, in the character cue of your dialogue block, you may refer to your character as JANE AS JACK or JANE/JACK for clarity.

Just so you know, it would be proper to refer to her as JANE in the character cue if you thought the reader would not get confused. Clarity is paramount.

Since her true identity is Jane and (assuming) that’s established early, then consider referring to her as JANE in the character cue throughout the entire screenplay, even though some characters might call her Jack (in dialogue). That is precisely what happens in NORTH BY NORTHWEST. We know that Cary Grant is Roger Thornhill, even though most people call him by another name during the majority of the movie, but the character cue shows THORNHILL throughout the script.

Good luck and keep writing!

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JULY 2018

FLASHY FLASHBACKS

QUESTION

If there is a flashback to only about a week prior that ends in an event that has been see in the movie before, how would you write it?

ANSWER

A FLASHBACK is a FLASHBACK. You would format this as a FLASHBACK.

FOLLOW UP QUESTION

Here is an example of the original scene that I have in mind:

A man and two women are in a room eating. A third woman enters the room. The third woman says, "Have you no shame, little man?"

That's the original scene. Later, the flashback sequence shows the third woman preparing and getting dressed and ends with her walking into the room, but not saying those words. But it is meant to be in the past. In the script, how would you write this so the reader knows it happened in the past without having to compromise what you want the character to say or do?

ANSWER

The short answer is this: the reader will know it happened in the past because it will be labeled as a FLASHBACK. I'm not seeing a reason for not calling it a FLASHBACK. I suppose an alternative would be to use a SUPER, as follows:

SUPER: "One week prior."

The problem with your question is you want to change what happened in the past, which makes no sense. If the third woman spoke certain words in a past scene, then she should speak them in the flashback to that past scene, unless you don't want to show that specific part of the past. Perhaps that is your intent.

Having established that, let's format the flashback from the information you have given me. I'll add some details of my own. Let's call the third woman Vivian and the little man Mort. I think, in this case, that a FLASHBACK MONTAGE would work well.

FLASHBACK MONTAGE – VIVIAN LEARNS THE TRUTH

-- VIVIAN'S BEDROOM - Vivian puts the finishing touches on her makeup. Her formal outfit is stunning. She picks up her purse and leaves the room.

-- MORT'S DINING ROOM - Mort, wearing a t-shirt, and two women sit around a table and a KFC bucket.

-- VIVIAN'S CAR – She drives impatiently, glancing at her watch.

-- MORT'S DINING ROOM - Mort and the two women laugh together as they eat the chicken. Mort hears a door open and close and looks like he wants to hide. Vivian walks in; she freezes -- shocked.

                              VIVIAN
            Have you no shame, Little Man?

END FLASHBACK MONTAGE

If you prefer, we could end the FLASHBACK MONTAGE before she can say, "Have you no shame, Little Man."

The above is not a particularly exciting scene, but it shows you how to handle your problem. Good luck and keep writing!

---

JUNE 2018

THE LITTLE THINGS

I get the following questions about seemingly "little things" like spacing, bolding, and italics all the time. Here is a rundown.

QUESTION

How many spaces after a period?

ANSWER

The same is true. One space or two spaces is fine. If you are using Movie Magic Screenwriter, the default is one space, which can be changed to two if you wish.

QUESTION

How about after INT and EXT?

ANSWER

The same is true. One space or two spaces is fine. If you are using Movie Magic Screenwriter, the default is one space, which can be changed to two if you wish.

QUESTION

How many line spaces before a scene heading?

ANSWER

In days past, it was always just one line of space before and after scene headings of every kind, and one line of space before and after paragraphs. That's still perfectly okay today.

Some software applications place two lines of space before scene headings. That's okay, too. Again, you can't go wrong. However, if you use secondary scene headings using such applications, they can look odd with two lines of space before them. Here's an example (with KITCHEN being the secondary scene heading):

INT. SHARON’S HOUSE – DAY

Sharon steps in carrying grocery bags.


KITCHEN

She deposits them on the counter.

Even though the above example looks odd to me (with two lines of space before KITCHEN), it's perfectly correct. The upside of two spaces prior to a scene heading is it creates more white space. The downside is it increases the page count of your script.

My personal preference is the traditional method of one line of space before scene headings. That's also the default of Movie Magic Screenwriter, although that can be changed to two if you wish. You have complete freedom with Movie Magic Screenwriter.

QUESTION

I've noticed some scripts use bold headings or underscored headings. Is that okay?

ANSWER

Most readers are okay with that, but it is not unnecessary. I suggest you consider waiting until this practice becomes the norm before doing it with your own script, but if you feel inclined to bold or underscore, then go ahead. Just change the default of Movie Magic Screenwriter.

QUESTION

What about italics?

ANSWER

Italics are not necessary. They may be used for foreign words of dialogue if you wish. Some writers use italics for the lyrics of songs. It's okay to do that, but not necessary.

QUESTION

How do I change the default for any element (such as scene headings, parentheticals, etc.) in Movie Magic Screenwriter?

ANSWER

At the top of the page, click on "Format" and then "Element styles." Then, choose the style you want and you'll see what options you have to make adjustments. And keep writing!

For more on formatting, acquire my book Dr. Format Tells All, available here: https://www.keepwriting.com/drformat/formathelp.htm or at Amazon.com.

 

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MAY 2018

SAME AND CONTINUOUS

QUESTION

Is there any difference between using SAME and CONTINUOUS in slug lines? Is one more in fashion than the other?

ANSWER

It depends on whom you ask. For some industry people, the terms are used synonymously, but the great majority will agree on the following.

Use CONTINUOUS to refer to a scene that comes right after the previous scene without any jump in time, and use SAME to refer to a scene that happens at the same time as the previous scene; in other words, overlapping.

For those wondering, here are two examples, one using CONTINUOUS and one using SAME.

Example #1:

PONCHO wanders down the hall until he reaches a door. He turns the door knob.

EXT. HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

The door opens and Poncho steps out into the cold.

Example #2:

INT. SHERMA'S ROOM – NIGHT

Sherma paces nervously. She looks at the clock, then walks to the window.

INT. DEREK'S CAR – SAME

Derek drives anxiously through the rain. He looks at his watch, the peers through the windshield.

In Example #2, the director has a choice. He or she can place the second scene right after the first, or assume that both scenes happen at the exact same moment in time and cross-cut the individual beats of each scene: Sherma paces, Derek drives; Sherma looks at the clock, Derek at his watch; and so on.

If it is already obvious that a scene is CONTINUOUS, there is no need to use the term. Thus, the first example could correctly be written as follows:

Example #1:

PONCHO wanders down the hall until he reaches a door. He turns the door knob.

EXT. HOUSE

The door opens and Poncho steps out into the cold.

 

SASE STANDARDS

QUESTION

When you send a query letter and include an SASE or postcard, do you fill in the return address.

ANSWER

You can, but you don't need to. If you do include an SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope), make sure you write the name of the company somewhere on that SASE or postcard. You don't want to receive mail and not know who it came from. Be sure to place your own address on the SASE or postcard. And don't forget the stamp.

Some writers state in their queries that they will call the producer or agent. In that case, an SASE is not needed. It's not a bad approach since, as a general rule, good news comes on the phone and bad news through the mail.

These days, screenwriters seldom include SASEs since it is so easy for the recipient to call or email you. And, yes, you can follow-up on the query. So simply mail or email a one-page query and keep writing!

 

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APRIL 2018

SEX CHANGES

QUESTION

When my heroine is disguised as a man, how do I refer to that heroine in action/description? As a "he" or a "she"?

ANSWER

As a "she." In virtually all cases, refer to your character by her real identity, even when she is posing as a man.

I WRITE THE SONGS

QUESTION

I've just finished a piece of work and there are several musical passages. One includes a character who begins to sing a certain song by a current musical artist. How would you format it?

ANSWER

You probably wouldn't mention it unless you controlled the rights to the song. When you include the names of specific songs, you create a possible legal roadblock to selling your script. You are usually better off referring to music generically. For example:

Thelma sings a hip hop song.

Once you sell the script, then approach the buyer with your idea for the song. How do you write the lyrics of songs?

Please see the question and answer below.

I PEN THE POEMS

QUESTION

My character reads a poem to an audience. How do I format it?

ANSWER

The words of song lyrics and poems are written as dialogue. You could present the lines in three ways: 1) You could write them as regular dialogue, 2) You could write them in verse or stanza form, or 3) You could place a slash at the end of each line. Here's an example of the latter two methods.

Verse or stanza form:

                              DELLA
                    (singing)
          Roses are red.
          Violets are blue.
          Sugar is sweet,
          And so are you.

With slashes at the end of each line:

                              DELLA
                    (singing)
          Roses are red/ Violets
          are blue/ Sugar is
          sweet/ And so are you.

If it’s already clear from the narrative description that the character is singing, then you won’t need the parenthetical in the dialogue block.

Do not use all-CAPS for lyrics, which is what is common for a stage play. Some screenwriters write lyrics in italics. There is no need to do that, but if you feel that will better set off the lyrics, then go ahead. The important thing is to keep writing!

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MARCH 2018

IF PIGS COULD FLY

QUESTION

Recently, someone told me that after an INSERT, I must come BACK TO SCENE, as shown in Example #1 below.

Example #1:

Joe picks up the paper. His eyes widen as he reads.

INSERT - THE HEADLINE, which reads: "PIGS FLY."

BACK TO SCENE

A raucous laugh. He climbs up on the table and does a little dance.

Isn't it already obvious that we go BACK TO SCENE? Would my second example below be okay?

Example #2:

Joe picks up the paper. His eyes widen as he reads the headline:

PIGS FLY.

A raucous laugh. He climbs up on the table and does a little dance.

ANSWER

If you are going to use the INSERT, I'm afraid you must bring us BACK TO SCENE, for the sake of clarity. Example #1 is correct.

However, you don't necessarily have to use the INSERT. These days the INSERT is generally only used for long notes. Since the reason for the INSERT is to draw attention to something, just draw our attention to the headline with a separate paragraph as follows:

The headline reads: "PIGS FLY."

That's just as clear as the INSERT (Example #1) and it's cleaner.

Or you could write:

Joe's eyes widen when he sees the headline.

                          JOE
          Pig's fly?

Concerning your Example #2 above, the phrase "PIGS FLY" looks like it could be mistaken for a scene heading (slug line). That's potentially confusing, so don't use Example #2.

WRITING UNDERCOVER

QUESTION

When using initials, such as CIA or FBI, in dialogue, what is the proper format?

ANSWER

If the character says the letters, then use hyphens or periods, as follows: C-I-A or C.I.A.

If the character uses an acronym that is pronounced like a word, just write out the word in CAPS.

Here's an example:

                          REPORTER
          The woman from MADD was thought
          to be C.I.A. until officials saw
          her UNICEF badge.

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FEBRUARY 2018

A SUPER IDEA

QUESTION

I have a technical question about the MONTAGE. I've seen different ways to format a MONTAGE. Is one wrong, or is it a matter of choice? Here's two examples.

MONTAGE - ANN'S SPENDING SPREE

-- INT. SAKS -- Ann buys every pair of shoes she tries on.

-- INT POTTERY BARN -- Ann buys a set of cookware and dozens of kitchen gadgets.

Or, is this correct:

MONTAGE - ANN'S SPENDING SPREE

-- At Saks, Ann buys every pair of shoes she tries on.

-- At the Pottery Barn, Ann buys a set of cookware and dozens of kitchen gadgets.

ANSWER

It's a matter of choice. You can use either one, and there are other slight variations that also work. How magical is that?

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

QUESTION

Is the following indentation necessary?

-- At the Pottery Barn, Ann buys a set of cookware and dozens
    of kitchen gadgets.

ANSWER

It's okay to indent like that, but it is not necessary.

MAY I INSERT?

QUESTION

If you use an INSERT or SERIES OF SHOT [or other special heading], and it will not all fit on the same page, do you simply continue on the next page, or must you start at the top of the next page?

ANSWER

You can do either. However, if you start the INSERT on the next page, don't leave more than an eighth of a page of white space on that earlier page. My personal recommendation is to not worry about it and to let your copy of Movie Magic Screenwriter handle it.

A TRIPLE DOUBLE

QUESTION

Do you double-space before master scene headings or triple-space?

ANSWER

It's your choice, and that's an underlying theme of this column. There is often more than one "correct" formatting technique that you can apply to most screenwriting situations.

I recommend that you double space before secondary scene headings (that is, one line of space before the secondary scene heading; personally, I think it looks better since secondary scene headings feel like they are part of the action. For example:

EXT. SMITH HOUSE - DAY

Joe enter and races up

THE STAIRS

and into

THE BEDROOM

where he jumps on his bed and sobs.

Fortunately, the default for Movie Magic Screenwriter is to double-space before scene headings of every kind, so just use the default and keep writing!

Get all of Dr. Format's advice in one book, Dr. Format Tells All, $11.95 retail, only $8.95 at http://www.keepwriting.com/store.htm

 

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JANUARY 2018

A SUPER IDEA

QUESTION

I want the words "8 months ago" to appear on the screen on top of some images I describe. What is the proper formatting for this? Do I use a SUPER, as follows?

EXT. DON'S BAR – NIGHT

SUPER: "8 MONTHS AGO."

Al and Doug sit at the counter with empty shot glasses lining the bar.

ANSWER

Yes, except you don’t necessarily need the period at the end of the SUPER content. Regarding this, the question to ask is how do you want the content of a SUPER to appear on the movie screen—with a period or without? It’s your choice.

In terms of placement, a second method is to place the SUPER after some narrative description. Sometimes, it works better to establish something visually before superimposing some words. In other words, you could write this:

EXT. DON'S BAR – EVENING

Al and Doug sit at the counter with empty shot glasses lining the bar.

SUPER: "Eight Months Earlier"

And then write some more narrative description.

You'll notice in the above example that I slightly altered the wording of the content of your SUPER. Your version is correct, and my version is correct. It's your dramatic choice which you use.

CAN YOU SUPER A SCROLL?

QUESTION

What's the proper format to write superimposed or titled exposition like that at the beginning of Star Wars, for example?

ANSWER

Use the term SUPER unless the content is very long and you want it to scroll up the screen like the Star Wars opening scrolls do. (Sometimes you see the word CRAWL used.) You’ll format the paragraphs as you would dialogue; that is, indent 10 spaces the entire quoted text to be superimposed or scrolled:

                    "It is a period of civil war in the:
                    galaxy. A brave alliance... [and so on]"

Here's something else to keep in mind. Regardless of whether you superimpose one word or three paragraphs, place the entire superimposition in quotations marks. For example:

SUPER: "Long ago in a galaxy far away. -–George Lucas"

If the content of your SUPER or SCROLL is more than one sentence, then naturally, you will put periods at the end of sentences. And keep writing!

Get all of Dr. Format’s advice in one book, Dr. Format Tells All, $11.95 retail, only $8.95 at http://www.keepwriting.com/store.htm

 

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DECEMBER 2017

SKYPE HYPE

QUESTION

How do you handle Skype in a screenplay?

ANSWER

If a character appears visually on Skype, you can handle her as another character, since her image is right there at the location. For example:

John's Skype beeps, and there, on screen, is Mary.

And then write out the conversation as you would normal dialogue. There would be no "voice over" (V.O.) or off screen (O.S.) speeches because both John and Mary are visually on the movie screen. In a way, this is like the INTERCUT of a telephone conversation where we see both parties.

Here's how to handle a slightly different situation.

John's Skype beeps, and John sees "Mary Columbine" on his computer screen.

He races to his closet, searching through his clothes.

                              MARY (O.S.)
          John, are you there? I need the
          recipe for Cornish game hen.

John removes a piece of paper from a shirt pocket.

                              JOHN
          Got it!

In this case, since Mary is present in the room (on the computer monitor screen), but unseen (that is, off the movie screen), I used O.S. for off screen.

Many other examples could be given, depending on how the scene is written. The key is to use formatting principles and decide how to make your scene clear to the reader.

You might handle TV in a similar way. For example:

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Mary sits on the couch.

John turns on the TV and races out of the room.

INT. KITCHEN

John searches through the cupboards.

                              LILA (O.S.)
          Headlining today's news is the recent
          Cornish game hen shortage in the
          state of Connecticut.

INT. LIVING ROOM

John races back in with a bag of popcorn.

                              JOHN
          But the recipe. Oh Mary, this is a
          tragedy!

I didn't write CONTINUOUS at the end of the final two scene headings because it is already obvious, but I could have.

If John and Mary are watching TV, you could write:

ON TV

                              LILA
          That's tonight's news. Good night and
          keep writing!

 

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NOVEMBER 2017

NAME THAT NAME

QUESTION

I am currently working on a military/action script, and my central character is Captain James Lee. In the character cue, should the name be written as CAPTAIN SMITH, SMITH, OR JAMES?

ANSWER

It can be any of the above, depending on the situation. I would choose the name that is most likely to stand out. If all of the characters have military rank and are referred to in the character cue by their rank, you might consider using JAMES or SMITH for this character to make him stand out from the others.

As a very general guideline, use the first name for good guys, and the last name for bad guys. Readers warm up to "first names."

Military officers should usually be referred to by their rank—CAPTAIN SMITH. In fact, referring to a character by rank or title can help a reader keep track of him or her; for example, SERGEANT GARCIA or PRESIDENT JONES or DETECTIVE WILSON.

PROGRESSIVE WRITING

QUESTION

I know that the progressive tense is frowned upon in action description. "Joe runs" [active] is preferred to "Joe is running" [progressive]. But what about in parentheticals? Is there really any difference between the following two examples?

Example #1:

                              MAX
                  (whispering)
          Over here.

Example #2:

                              MAX
                  (whispers)
          Over here.

I know that the progressive tense is frowned upon in action description. "Joe runs" [active] is preferred to "Joe is running" [progressive]. But what about in parentheticals? Is there really any difference between the following two examples?

ANSWER

Either of the two works. You can’t go wrong. Just keep writing.

Get all of Dr. Format’s advice in one book, Dr. Format Tells All, $11.95 retail, only $8.95 at http://www.keepwriting.com/store.htm.

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OCTOBER 2017

DO I HAVE THE RIGHT APARTMENT?

QUESTION

About scene headings, if the movie starts in an apartment, but the apartment belongs to the main character, do I write:

INT. JACK'S APARTMENT – DAY

...or...

INT. APARTMENT – DAY

...since no one knows his name yet?

ANSWER

It's okay to refer to the apartment as JACK'S APARTMENT, since Jack will be introduced in the next paragraph. It's also okay to simply refer to it as an APARTMENT. I prefer JACK’S APARTMENT because locations in scene headings should be referred to in exactly the same way throughout the script, and it will be easier for the reader to see JACK’S APARTMENT throughout the script and instantly know the exact location.

NUMBER RULES

QUESTION

From your Dr. Format column, I know that numbers must be written out as words in dialogue, but what about narrative description? For example, if a customer hands a cashier $12.50, would I write it with the Arabic numerals or spell it out in word form as I would in dialogue?

ANSWER

You may use Arabic numerals (just as you do in your question above) when writing narrative description (action).

Concerning numbers in dialogue, the exception is years and names that contain numbers. For example:

                              LUKE
          It was early in 2012 when I realized
          my computer sounded a lot like R2D2.
          Was it talking to me?

Get all of Dr. Format’s advice in one book, Dr. Format Tells All, $11.95 retail, only $8.95 at http://www.keepwriting.com/store.htm.

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SEPTEMBER 2017

GEORGE AXELROD'S READABLE SCRIPT

QUESTION

Can you provide an example of "readability"?

ANSWER

Yes, but first a quick review of what I mean by "readable."

As you know, you write a spec script primarily for a reader who either recommends it or not. The reader wants a readable script, which means it should be clearly written, attractive (correct format, generally short paragraphs and speeches), specific (uses active voice and specific language), lean (says a lot with as few words as possible, except dramatic and emotional moments), and entertaining (as opposed to informative).

That last qualifier refers to an entertaining style. Recently, a client sent me an unproduced George Axelrod script. Axelrod wrote Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Manchurian Candidate, The Seven Year Itch, Goodbye Charlie, and others. I was delighted reading his 1966 early draft of a screenplay he apparently didn't finish. I'll provide you with just a sampling.

GLORIA BIRDLAND -- she of the sequined eyebrows and neon lips, the personification of the American Sex Dream, the "tiger in your tank."

I guess I like the specific and original words "sequined eyebrows and neon lips." Now there's a visual.

In the excerpt below, notice the description of business men on a New York street. Axelrod uses a metaphor without confusing the reader. These guys are not really knights, but the metaphor provides a sense of how they might see themselves. And then there is the contrast or twist at the end of the first paragraph.

Speaking of contrasts; there's a doozey in the second paragraph below.

Knights in wrinkle-proof, summer-weight armor, attache cases held firmly, move northward in search of dragons to slay. There is something touching and rather sweet about all these poor, happy, simple-minded idiots.

Enter MARVE, 30. Unlike the others, Marve does not carry an attache case. Also, he is stark naked. Except for an oversized daisy that he wears hip-hugger fashion, decently below the navel.

Here are a couple of paragraphs from a scene set in a New York apartment. Marve, who is about to shave, sees a girlfriend across the way through her bathroom window taking a shower.

He takes his pressure-foam shaving can and sky-writes on his picture window the word "Hi."

She notices, and with an acid look in his direction, she pulls her draw-curtain closed.

Marve is genuinely baffled. He shrugs, shaving can in hand. He presses the button but only the sad sound of an empty pressure can responds.

There's no POV shot of Marve seeing her "acid look." And notice how the pressure-foam can comments on Marve's emotions. It's a nice "punch line."

Later, Marve gets on a train. Notice the specific words "lurches" and "bounces," and the lovely phrase "of epic proportions."

The train lurches and Marve bounces quite violently against a female person of epic proportions.

Michael Douglas, commenting on his first read of the spec Romancing the Stone, said he could tell the writer had fun writing it, and that came through to him in the read. That's style.

On the other hand, the spec for Chinatown is not written in a particularly entertaining style, but it is clear, lean, attractive, and uses specific language.

The main point is to make your script as "readable" as you can to increase your chances of selling it so you can keep writing.

 

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AUGUST 2017

ONE ANSWER TO TEN COMMON QUESTIONS

FIRST THE ANSWER

Here is the answer to all ten common questions below.

The screenplay(s) you refer to was developed in the studio system or by a production company, and/or was written by an established writer or were written by a writer who is also the director of the production, and/or is the shooting script version of the original spec.

You, on the other hand, are a spec writer trying to break in with a spec script (not a shooting script). Thus, you should do everything you can to make a positive first impression on your audience, and your primary audience is the reader (story analyst), who is almost always the first person to read your script and recommend or not recommend it.

QUESTION 1

You say to use editing directions (transitions) judiciously, but I just read a produced script by William Goldman that had tons of CUT TOs.

QUESTION 2

You recommend limiting spec scripts to 120 pages or less, but I've seen dozens of produced scripts that were over 120 pages.

QUESTION 3

You often caution against a lot of voice-over narration, particularly long narration speeches on page 1, but what about Shawshank Redemption?

[I should add to my answer above that most narration that I read by developing screenwriters amounts to obvious exposition. Narration should add an extra layer of drama, comedy, or meaning to the story without repeating what we already see on the movie screen.]

QUESTION 4

Dave, have you read a Woody Allen script? He doesn't follow standard format, so why should I?

QUESTION 5

You say that it is not necessary to bold and/or underscore slug lines [scene headings], but I've seen both styles in a couple of scripts by pros.

QUESTION 6

You caution against writing long "talking heads" scenes, especially as a first scene, so what about The Social Network, which opens with an eight-minute talking-heads scene?

[I can't resist adding the following: when you can write as well as Aaron Sorkin, forge ahead with that 8-page talking-heads scene.]

QUESTION 7

Most of the scripts I read have camera directions in them. What gives?

[One spec writing skill is directing the camera without using camera directions.]

QUESTION 8

Dave, you emphasize readability, but I've read some produced scripts that were actually difficult to read. How did they get produced?

QUESTION 9

You tell us to be careful about early flashbacks in a script, but I saw a couple of early flashbacks in a recent successful movie.

[As a general guideline, don't tell your audience about the past until they care about the present. Naturally, there can be exceptions. Also, make sure your flashback isn't just obvious exposition, but that it moves the story forward. And, finally, if you use an early flashback, make it as short as possible.]

QUESTION 10

Every once in a while, I see a writer who breaks one of your "17 Commandments." Why is that? ["The 17 Commandments" can be found on page 160 of the new 6th Edition of The Screenwriter's Bible.]

THREE FINAL COMMENTS

1. Think of all my recommendations as guidelines, not rules.
2. Remember that formatting does not have to be perfect, but you should still show your best work.
3. Keep writing!

 

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JULY 2017

THE STORYTELLER

QUESTION

My story begins in a therapist's office after everything that is going to happen in the screenplay happens. Basically, the entire screenplay is going to be a flashback. The first scene is in the therapist's office and then cuts to the past. And then, in the last scene, we'll cut back to the therapist's office. Should I label this a FLASHBACK?

ANSWER

No. You are using the storyteller device, which was used in SAVING PRIVATE RYAN.

Open in the therapist's office, and then cut to the past; that is, cut to a new scene heading, followed by a bit of narrative description, followed by a SUPER. The SUPER (short for superimpose) will look something like this:

SUPER: "Six Months Earlier"

ASPIRING TO DIRECT

QUESTION

I'm looking to use my writing abilities to help launch a directing career. When sending out a query letter (with script), is it appropriate to mention this at all.

ANSWER

No. And don't send your script with your query. The purpose of your query should be to get the agent or producer to request your script. Wait until that agent or producer is in love with your script before pushing your directing skills. At such a time, you will need a reel (video or DVD) of footage that you directed.

DOUBLE AGENTS

QUESTION

What if more than one agent requests my script, should I send the script out to both?

ANSWER

You should be so lucky. The answer is "yes." If both end up loving your script, then you will simply make a choice between the two. I had a client with this very "problem." She found a producer who loved her script and he referred her to several agents, whom she interviewed until she found the one she wanted. I wish the same success for you.

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JUNE 2017

UNDERWATER CAMERA

QUESTION

There's a scene where we're standing by a lake. Then we're under the water looking up through the water at some children standing by the lake. How the heck should I slug that?

ANSWER

Since EXT. and INT. refer to where the camera is, and not to where the objects or people being shot are, I would think something like EXT. UNDERWATER would work. Then describe the action. How about something like this?

EXT. LAKE SHORE – DAY

The children form a circle by the lake.

EXT. UNDERWATER – SAME

While the others dance, Pam peers down into the lake.

If you're thinking of a point-of-view situation, such as a monster watching the children from deep below the water's surface, just handle the second scene above as follows:

EXT. UNDERWATER – SAME

An unseen lake monster watches the dancing children. Pam peers down into the lake.

SPACING AFTER INT., EXT., AND A PERIOD

QUESTION

What is the proper number of spaces after a period at the end of a sentence—one or two?

ANSWER

Both are correct, but my personal preference is for two, and I have two reasons. As spec screenwriters, we use a Courier font that imitates the PICA typewriter font of years gone by when the rule was two spaces. In addition, the extra space emphasizes that the sentence has ended. In other words, it makes paragraphs a little easier to read. However, you can't go wrong with either method.

The same logic holds true for INT. and EXT. In years gone by, screenwriters spaced twice after INT. and EXT. Now, the choice is yours: one space or two spaces. The main thing is to keep writing.

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MAY 2017

IF HIPPOS COULD FLY

QUESTION

I am writing a script that needs to have a certain person's POV [point of view]. Think along the lines of The Sixth Sense where the character sees "things." My question is, whenever my character sees these "things," should I put:

JOE BLOW'S POV – A flying hippo.

ANSWER

Avoid technical intrusions in a spec script. Try to direct the camera without using camera directions. In this case, just write:

Joe Blow sees a flying hippo.

 

THE CAMERA AS A CHARACTER

QUESTION

I'm writing a fictional documentary in the style of Waiting For Guffman, Bob Roberts, Man Bites Dog, etc., and I am wondering how to write scenes where the "cameraman" is an actual participant in the scene. Specifically, let's say the cameraman is interviewing someone, when suddenly an explosion occurs and everyone, including the cameraman, runs in terror. If I write "Cameraman flees the area like a scared rabbit," that implies that we actually SEE him running, but in reality I want him running with the camera still rolling. What's the best way to do this?

ANSWER

There are many ways to handle this situation. Here's just one. Let's cross-cut between what is happening and what the camera sees. Let's say Nancy Cameraperson is filming teen sensation Rock Jock, who is being interviewed at the moment of the explosion.

A nearby explosion rocks the area.

Pandemonium. People run every direction.

THROUGH NANCY'S CAMERA

Rock Jock's plastic smile withers into a white mask of horror. He flees.

Images of people fly by at awkward angles. There is no up or down.

BACK TO SCENE

Nancy runs, her camera bouncing awkwardly from her hand. Debris begins to fall from the sky.

THROUGH NANCY'S CAMERA

A man trips and falls hard on the sidewalk. The image blurs from sidewalk to sky. A black and white plume of smoke billows into the blue.

A uniformed man falls from somewhere right on us. Blackness.

BACK TO SCENE

Nancy is on the ground looking up. The uniformed man has fallen on her and on the camera. A siren wails. Nancy struggles to her feet.

And then, keep cutting back and forth until the scene ends, and keep writing!

 

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APRIL 2017

WHAT'S YOUR POV?

QUESTION

I have in mind a scene whereby what is envisioned by the reader (and viewed by the cinema audience) would be Black & White video feed (live or recorded) from a covert security camera.

For example:

INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT
               
Black and white POV of the secret agent dialing the safe's combination..

he movie seems completely driven by Will's need to love himself before he can be close to others. And the opposition is his own character flaws. Where's the goal and opposition?

ANSWER

Sometimes a POV can be used, but usually you can avoid it. For example, rather than...

JOHN'S POV – The monster licks his chops.

You can write:

John sees the monster lick his chops.

That has to be a POV shot, and it's a bit more readable. In the original Raiders of the Lost Arc script, the writer uses the following device:

What Indy sees: A snake crawls towards him.

That's a POV shot. In addition, keep in mind that CAPS are a little hard on the eyes of readers that read tons of scripts. However, if you use POV once or twice in your screenplay, no one is going to scream or slit their wrists. Relax.

Concerning your specific example, it seems to me that it could be handled as a separate scene.

INT. FBI OFFICE - DAY

John plays the video.

ON THE MONITOR – BLACK & WHITE

In a basement, the secret agent dials the safe's combination.

BACK TO FBI OFFICE

If you want that to be a live video stream, you could write, "John watches the live video stream." Here's another method for handling this.

INT. FBI OFFICE - DAY

John plays the video.

INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT – BLACK & WHITE

The secret agent dials the safe's combination.

Then keyboard in another master scene heading and keep writing!

 

FEBRUARY 2017

GOOD WILL TO ALL

QUESTION

Conventional wisdom suggests that there must be a clear goal and an antagonist, but I don't buy it. I've seen many movies where there appears to be neither a concrete goal nor an antagonist. Take GOOD WILL HUNTING. The movie seems completely driven by Will's need to love himself before he can be close to others. And the opposition is his own character flaws. Where's the goal and opposition?

ANSWER

That is a great question. In character-driven stories, the need always supersedes the goal. There are many movies where the goal is very thin or practically non-existent. In STAND BY ME, the goal is to find the body.

In the case of GOODWILL HUNTING, the overall goal is to avoid action or change, and maintain the status quo; but Will has several small action goals, intentions, or desires throughout the movie. For example, he wants to put the arrogant college dude in his place and get Minnie Driver's phone number. That scene is driven by a goal that reveals something of his character.

Also, notice that there are at least two opposition characters. Robin Williams--and to a lesser degree, Minnie Drive--oppose his goal/desire/intention to remain undiscovered and closed off from others and his own goodness (thus, maintain the status quo).

In addition, Robin Williams is opposed by a colleague. And then, in individual scenes, you have the arrogant college dude, the university professor, and Will's best friend as opposition characters. In other words, virtually everyone has an intention, desire, need, or goal of some sort, providing plenty of conflict. But you’re right, at the core of the story is Will's need.

Your need (and goal) is to write a great story and gain the good will of an agent or producer.

NO ONE IS COUNTING

QUESTION

How many lines per page are there in a screenplay?

ANSWER

About 55. If you are using Movie Magic Screenwriter, you don’t have to worry about margins, tabs, or lines per page. Relax and write.

CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER

QUESTION

Can you cheat on the spacing between the lines to add lines to a page?

ANSWER

Do not alter the line spacing so that you can cram another line or two onto the page. Any professional reader will immediately recognize your deception, and he/she won't be happy about it. On the other hand, you can cheat a little in some respects. In Movie Magic Screenwriter, click on “Format” and then “Cheat.” Good luck and keep writing!

 

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JANUARY 2017

JUST MY STYLE

QUESTION

Recently, I came across something regarding screenplays that talked about style and tone. Can you give me a brief explanation of these terms?

ANSWER

Style is the way your writing is dressed up (or down) to reach your audience or achieve your purpose. All writers develop, usually subconsciously, an individual style of writing. For example, Shane Black often begins sentences with verbs. Here’s an example from a football game from his screenplay The Last Boy Scout:

He takes the ball on the run. Tucks it under his arm. Turns the corner. Picks up a blocker.

Style influences tone, which is the mood of the piece. In fact, the tone of a particular scene may imply a certain musical mood to the eventual composer of the musical soundtrack.

When famous cartoon character Snoopy writes “It’s a dark and stormy night,” he’s trying to create a mood.

Often, writers adopt different styles for different scripts they are writing to influence the tone or mood of those scripts; and yet, everything they write will carry their imprint, something of their personal writing style.

DUAL IDENTITIES

QUESTION

I have a character (let’s call him Joe) who at times takes on the persona of a new character (Wayne). There is no other Wayne in the script. When Joe is pretending to be Wayne, should I still use his original name Joe when writing his dialogue, or should I use Wayne?

ANSWER

I think the clearest and most effective way to handle this is to treat the two as separate characters:

                    CHARACTER CUE
                (parenthetical)
          Dialogue or spoken words.

In screenplay writing, you should refer to a character in the character cue section by using the exact same name each time. In your particular instance, I suggest you refer to your character as JOE/WAYNE or JOE AS WAYNE when he is posing as Wayne. Thus, the name JOE is always in the character cue.

The character cue is where you must be consistent. There are some exceptions, and we have just discussed one of those, although I would refer to it as a variation rather than an exception.

There is one other area where you should be consistent, and that is in the quality of the writing itself. So...keep writing.

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DECEMBER 2016

WHERE IS THE CAMERA?

QUESTION

There’s a scene where we’re standing by a lake. Then we’re under the water looking up through the water at some children standing by the lake. How the heck should I slug that?

ANSWER

Since EXT. and INT. refer to where the camera is, and not to where the objects or people being shot are, I would think something like EXT. UNDERWATER would work. Then describe the action. How about something like this?

EXT. LAKE SHORE – DAY

The children form a circle by the lake.

EXT. UNDERWATER – SAME

While the others dance, Pam peers down into the lake.

If you’re thinking of a point-of-view situation, such as a monster watching the children from deep below the water’s surface, just handle the second scene as follows:

EXT. UNDERWATER – SAME

An unseen lake monster watches the dancing children. Pam peers down into the lake.

 

THROWING VOICES

QUESTION

What is the proper format for dialogue involving a ventriloquist and his dummy?

ANSWER

I think the clearest and most effective way to handle this is to treat the two as separate characters:

                    VENTRILOQUIST
          You’re looking stiff today.

                    DUMMY
          I forgot to moisturize.

Here is a second correct method. In this case, we’ll have a little boy speak for his plush cat he has named Baba:

                    JIMMY
          Do you want to cuddle?

                    JIMMY AS BABA
          Only if you pet me, too.

 

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NOVEMBER 2016

WRITING LEAN & DRAMATIC ACTION

QUESTION

On one hand, you say to dramatize important actions, while on the other hand, you say to "write lean." Can you provide an example of something that is both sparse and dramatic?

ANSWER

I have seen many writers translate the word "lean" into "vague" or "no details." Actually, the opposite is true. "Writing lean" is choosing your details carefully and using specific, concrete words (especially verbs and nouns) to describe them. It's providing the reader with only what's necessary to see and understand clearly what's happening in the scene.

I would like to provide you with a "spec script" version of a scene from MISERY by William Goldman. In this scene, Annie is about to chop off Paul's foot with an axe:

PAUL

shrieks as there is a terrible thudding sound -- and then his body jackknifes. He is beyond agony as blood splashes over his neck, his face, and

ANNIE

her face splashed with blood and

THE SHEET

turning red and

ANNIE

eyes dull, getting into position again.

                              ANNIE
              Once more and we're all done.

PAUL

as again there is the thudding sound, and he's incoherent. Animal sounds come from him as

ANNIE

takes a match, lights the propane torch with the match, and there's a sound as the yellow flame appears.

                              ANNIE
              No time to suture, got to cauterize.

She brings the flame closer. Paul shrieks even louder.

                              ANNIE
              God, I love you....

I know many novice writers that would simply write:

She chops off his foot. He screams madly. She lights the torch and cauterizes the wound.

And there are others who might describe every detail over four pages. That, of course, would be overdoing it, or overwriting.

I'd like to make one last comment about that last line of dialogue. Try to end your scenes with something that is strong, or something that moves us into the next scene or a future scene. In the above scene, we have a very strong punch line in Annie's declaration of "love."

ACTION STACKING

QUESTION

Lately I've been hearing about a popular way to write action called action stacking. I was wondering if you could give me an example of what this looks like. I don't think I have read a screenplay that shows this type of format.

ANSWER

Action stacking is a style of writing that literally stacks a series of short actions in a scene. Here's an example:

EXT. BALLPARK - DAY

Duke sneers at the catcher.
Taps the bat twice on his cleats.
Spits a brown wad that splatters on home plate.
Allows himself a self-satisfied grin.

Notice that these are short sentences stacked one on top of the other; thus, action stacking. Only use this technique if you are going to use it as a pattern throughout your screenplay.

 

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OCTOBER 2016

GOING SOUTH

QUESTION

The majority of my story takes place in a small, Southern, U.S. town.  It appears as SOUTHERN TOWN in all my master scene headings. It could be anywhere in the South:  Virginia, Alabama, South Carolina, doesn't matter. Should I give this town a fictitious name? It's starting to look bad with page after page of SOUTHERN TOWN.

Also, when my character goes from EXT. SOUTHERN TOWN – GRAVEYARD – DAY, for example, to, INT.  SOUTHERN TOWN – LIBRARY – DAY, do I have to keep repeating SOUTHERN TOWN? I suspect you address this in your book but if you do it is not clear to me.

ANSWER

SOUTHERN TOWN is fine, but consider a fictitious name that sounds Southern.  Andy Griffith use Mayberry when faced with the same situation.

In response to your second question, you don't need to keep repeating SOUTHERN TOWN.  Unless that's the main location, use this:

EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY

Or

EXT. MAYBERRY GRAVEYARD – DAY

I filled in with "Mayberry" just to illustrate.  And then:

INT. LIBRARY – DAY

If everything takes place in this town, then you only need to mention it once in a scene heading, and then only when it is the main location, such as:

EXT. MAYBERRY – DAY

A quaint Southern town.

 

SPACES AFTER THE PERIOD

QUESTION

I see that in a screenplay you are supposed to double space after a period. Is that also the case in a spec script?

ANSWER

It no longer matters whether you space once or twice after a period. It's up to you.

 

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SEPTEMBER 2016

MORNING HAS BROKEN

QUESTION

I am taking a screenwriting course at my local junior college. I have the opening scene heading stating time of day as MORNING. My teacher scratched this out and replaced it with DAY, citing that the time of morning is assumed. She said that attaching so many different times of day to your scene headings will drive a producer crazy. What is the correct way? If my scene starts in the morning, should I put MORNING?

ANSWER

Your teacher makes a good point. As a general rule, use DAY or NIGHT at the end of your master scene headings. For one thing, DAY and NIGHT are easier to shoot than MORNING and TWILIGHT. However, there are story situations when you need to emphasize the time of day (or night) and, in those cases, you should emphasize the time of day. So use your discretion.

LOST IN SPACE

QUESTION

What should a writer indicate for the time of day in the slug line [scene heading] when the time of day is not relevant? For example, if a scene takes place in space, such as on a spaceship, then the normal concepts of night and day do not apply. Similarly, a scene might take place in a subterranean cavern so deep that the time of day isn't relevant, since no sunlight can reach it.

ANSWER

There are two schools of thought on this. One is that the time of day is, as you say, irrelevant. Thus, a scene heading might be written as follows:

EXT. SPACE

And certainly, that is all you need for that scene heading.

Another school of thought holds that since people behave as if it is night or day (sleeping or working, for example), those terms should be used in INTERIOR scenes, such as inside the spaceship or cave. However, usually that "assumed" time of day would already be obvious to the reader, so I lean towards the first school of thought.

As a separate issue, I don't see a problem writing DAY or NIGHT, where doing so would clarify the situation.

MAY I INTRODUCE...?

QUESTION

I am unclear about how to introduce a character's name. I have read several books that state a character's name should not be revealed to the reader until that character speaks. Yet there are several other books that state you can introduce a character's name with the character's description. Should main character names be introduced when they appear and minor character names introduced when they speak, or should the format remain consistent in some way?

ANSWER

One of the hallmarks of effective spec writing is the ability to be clear and not confuse the reader. The last thing you want is for an executive or agent to stop reading your script because they are confused. Thus, I usually favor simplicity and consistency over complexity and inconsistency. As a reader, I want to know the character's name at the moment that character first appears. Naturally, there will be exceptions, but there should be a good dramatic or comedic reason for those exceptions.

Good luck and keep writing!

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AUGUST 2016

THE TELEPHONE VOICE

QUESTION

I was once told that the use of (O.S.) for a character on the phone is incorrect when writing a spec script. I was told to use this instead:

                      MITCH (on phone)
        What are you doing?

                      JANICE (O.S., ON PHONE)
        Oh...just painting my toe nails.

ANSWER

You’ve been misinformed. The use of (O.S.) is incorrect because (O.S.) stands for OFF SCREEN, meaning that the character is in the scene (at the scene location), but cannot be seen on the silver screen. When a character is not at the scene location, then use (V.O.) for VOICE OVER, and that's the case for a voice coming through a phone.

In the case of your example, I assume that we can see Mitch, but that Janice is at some other location and that we hear her voice but don't see her. In that case, this would be correct:

Mitch holds the phone with one hand while the other hand clips his toenails.

                      MITCH
        What are you doing?

                      JANICE (V.O.)
        Oh...just painting my toe nails.

Concerning the phrase "on phone," it would work fine if we knew for sure what it meant. To some it means that the character is holding a phone to her ear. To others it means that the character's speech is voiced over. Since there can be confusion, I don't recommend you use it.

THIS STUFFING MAKES YOU A TURKEY

QUESTION

I have a question about the "script cardstock cover" and "title page" when sending a script to agents and producers. I have heard conflicting issues that the cardstock cover should remain blank, followed by the one-page synopsis, followed by the title page. What is the correct format for professional presentation?

ANSWER

Blank cover stock, followed by the title page, followed by the script, followed by blank cover stock. That’s it, unless an agent or producer specifically requests something else. Of course, these days, most scripts are sent as PDF files electronically.

May I mention a pet peeve while we’re on the subject? Please, please, pretty please, do not package your script with a padded envelope filled with stuffing that flies all over Kingdom Come when the envelope is opened. Sending your script in one of those will knock the stuffing out of that good first impression you want to make. If you want to use a padded envelope, use a bubble pack…and keep writing.

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JULY 2016

SEQUENCES

QUESTION

What is a sequence in a screenplay? How many sequences will there be in a screenplay?

ANSWER

A sequence is a dramatic unit made up of more than one scene. It is usually about 10-15 pages in length (but can be more or less) and has its own beginning, middle, and end. You can think of car-chase sequences from movies as examples.

Movies are composed of acts, which are composed of sequences, which are composed of scenes. Well, not always…but generally that's true. There is no magic number as to how many sequences should be in a movie. Some movies, by their nature, will have more or fewer sequences than other movies.

SCENES

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

So what's a scene?

ANSWER

A scene is a much shorter dramatic unit than a sequence. Technically, a scene changes when one of three scene elements change: camera placement (INTERIOR or EXTERIOR), location, or time (usually DAY or NIGHT). Those three scene elements can be seen in a master scene heading:

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

Most often, people use the term scene casually and seldom refer to a "technical” scene, but to a short dramatic unit that may consist of a scene or several scenes, but not long enough to be a sequence.

CROSS-CUTTING

QUESTION

What is cross-cutting?

ANSWER

Cross-cutting is an editing technique when the editor cuts back-and-forth between action happening at two different locations. Thus, it is possible to cut back-and-forth between two sequences.

* * *

One reason I recommend that screenwriters read a lot of screenplays is so they can gain a true sense of how screenplays, acts, sequences, and scenes work. Good luck and keep writing!

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JUNE 2016

STARTING THE SCENE BEFORE THE SCENE

QUESTION

I am at the end of a scene and have a character from the upcoming scene who says something before we cut to that scene the character is in. How do I format that?

ANSWER

There are two ways, and I'll illustrate with two examples. In the first, use a voice over:

                                 DARA (V.O.)
                    You look like Bozo the Clown.

INT. ALFONSO'S ROOM – DAY

Alfonso frowns at Dara, long red hair streaming from the sides of his head and bald on top, kind of like... well, Bozo the Clown.

As you can see, Dara's line is actually said in Alfonso's room, but for effect, we hear it before we cut to the room. It's a sound transition from one scene to the next and it's perfectly "legal" in a spec script.

The second method is exactly the same, except you replace the V.O. with the term PRE-LAP.

If the sound is not dialogue, you can use the PRE-LAP as follows:

PRE-LAP - A dog BARKS followed by a SCREAM and a CRASH.

INT. ALFONSO'S KITCHEN – DAY

Alfonso lies on his back -- a St. Bernard licking his face. Grocery bags are scattered across the floor.

FOR CHYRON OUT LOUD

QUESTION

What is a chyron? [Pronounced ki¯rän.]

ANSWER

It's the caption superimposed anywhere on a television or movie screen. Thus, it's handled much like a superimposition (SUPER):

CHYRON: "Did I just say that?"

You could also format it as you would a text message, if you prefer.

The term also refers to the text-based graphics that appear at the bottom of your TV during a news broadcast.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE COURSES GONE?

QUESTION

Where can I take an online course to learn how to write scripts. [Author's note: Yes, this was a real question asked by a real person. It's not an advertisement.]

ANSWER

Online screenwriting classes abound. Here are just a few places you can go:

• www.keepwriting.com
• https://www.screenwritersuniversity.com/
• http://www.screenplay.com/writingresources/
• http://theafw.com/

Keep writing!

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MAY 2016

WHERE TO PUT THE ACTION

QUESTION

I just finished an existing TV drama script and noticed something about my style for the first time. Sometimes I write a character's action on the action line [as narrative description], and sometimes I do it under the character's name itself [as a parenthetical, or actor's instruction]. Which is correct and, if they both are, can you have examples of both throughout your script, or should you just stick to one style?

ANSWER

If the action only takes a few words to describe, it's okay to write it either way--as action, or as a parenthetical:

                                 ALBERT
                          (tipping his hat)
                    It's been a long time.

Loretta slaps his face.

                                 LORETTA
                    Not long enough.

As you can see, it is okay to use both styles in your screenplay, as I did in the example above. However, any action that takes more than a few words to describe should be written as narrative description only:

Loretta sucker punches Albert, then pushes him into a mud puddle.

                                 LORETTA
                    How low can you get?

THE WRYLY FACTOR

QUESTION

At a recent conference, I heard so many contradictory "rules" about formatting that my head is spinning. Some say all of the action should be written in parentheticals [often referred to as wrylies] since producers only read the dialogue, and some say that there should be no parentheticals at all. Could you help?

ANSWER

It's true there are producers in town who only read dialogue, but that does not mean that they read the wrylies too, nor does it mean that all producers only read dialogue. Keep in mind that before a producer reads your script, a professional reader reads it from beginning to end. Finally, when a production company gets serious about a script, then several people in the company may end up reading it. So don't be unduly concerned about how much of your script will get read. You cannot control that. What you can control is what you write.

Use wrylies sparingly. If there are too many, then a reader is likely not to take them too seriously. Their main purpose is to clarify the subtext when the subtext is not already apparent. For example, if a character says "I love you" in a sarcastic way, and it is not otherwise apparent that he would be sarcastic, then that's the time to use the parenthetical (wryly). Too often, I see something like the following in a screenplay:

Kip is fighting mad.

                                 KIP
                          (angrily shouting)
                    I hate you!!!!

The above example says the same thing in three different ways. In this case, all that you need is the speech itself. Also, lose the exclamation points. Your speech should not look like a want ad.

Use a wryly to indicate action that can be described in a few words. I provided an example of that in the "Where to put the action" section above.

Use a wryly to indicate who the character is speaking to when that is not otherwise clear:

                                 MOE
                          (to Curly)
                    Not you, ya knucklehead.

If you follow this column, you already know that I discourage the use of the lifeless term "beat" to indicate a pause. I much prefer an adverbial, facial expression, or action that comments on either the story or the character while still implying a pause. It's an unbeatable approach.

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April 2016

LOOK WHO'S PRAYING

QUESTION

How do I write one dialogue speech for three characters to say at the same time? For example, I have a scene where three characters say the same prayer at the same time.

ANSWER

I can best answer this with an example:

                              LARRY, MOE & CURLY
                          (together)
                    Now I lay me down to sleep/ Pray
                    the Lord my soul to keep.

Naturally, in the above example, I could have written “at the same time" as my parenthetical, or "in unison." You may not need the parenthetical at all. Now if someone starts saying something, and the other begins before the first has finished, then that overlapping dialogue is written as follows:

                              CURLY
                    Now I roll down my covers --

                              MOE
                          (overlapping)
                    -- Not until you say your prayers,
                    ya knucklehead.

POETIC LICENSE

QUESTION

How do I separate lines in a stanza of a poem?

ANSWER

Use a slash. See the example above of the Three Stooges praying in unison. And keep writing!

 

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March 2016

DAY, NIGHT, AND CONTINUOUS

QUESTION

There is one contest that states emphatically, "DAY and NIGHT are the only acceptable options!" But then I see you with examples such as TWILIGHT, MORNING, LATER, or even leaving it off entirely. I'd prefer to use these more descriptive examples, as I think they lend color to a script, but am a bit scared I'll tick off a contest judge or two.

ANSWER

Use DAY or NIGHT. Only use something else, such as TWILIGHT or MORNING, when there is an overriding dramatic purpose for it.

LATER is a secondary scene heading that is perfectly okay to use whenever it's called for. For example:

EXT. HOUSE – DAY

John knocks on the door.

LATER

He's still waiting. He looks at his watch.

Beyond the above response, just follow what the contest wants you to do. The same goes for producers or agents who make specific requests.

Use no extension only when it's already clearly obvious that it is DAY or NIGHT. :

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

Another site even frowns on using CONTINUOUS.

ANSWER

Use CONTINUOUS when it is not otherwise obvious that the scene is CONTINUOUS. If it is already obvious, don't use it.

PRE-LAP AND V.O.

QUESTION

I want the dialogue of a scene to begin in the previous scene. How do I do that?

ANSWER

You can use one of two methods. Here's the first.:

               JOHN (V.O.)
     Be sure to put the poison...

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

John hands Alice a small unmarked bottle of liquid.

               JOHN
     ... in the tea, and pour only
     for your husband.

The second method is to replace the V.O. in the first example with PRE-LAP or PRELAP.

Good luck and keep writing!

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FEBRUARY 2016

GEOGRAPHY AND PARENTHESES

QUESTION

The locales for most of my script are two cities. I've designated them appropriately, such as the following:

EXT. CITY STREET - DAY (BOSTON)

And

INT. THEATER - DAY (LOS ANGELES)

Is it necessary to label each scene following the initial designation as either Boston or Los Angeles with these parentheticals: (BOSTON) / (LOS ANGELES)? Or is it assumed that the following scenes are still in the designated city until it switches to the other city?

ANSWER

It’s not necessary to label every scene.

Just establish Boston and Los Angeles. You don't need to continually remind the reader. The exception is at those moments or scenes where you think the reader could get lost.

In your first example above, you have an exterior location, so you could write this:

EXT. BOSTON – CITY STREET – DAY

You don't need the parenthetical because Boston is an exterior location. Here's another way to write the same scene heading:

EXT. BOSTON STREETS – DAY

The second example should be written like this:

INT. THEATER (LOS ANGELES) – DAY

Keep the location in the location section of the scene heading.

As an alternative, you could establish the city before going to a smaller location. For example:

EXT. LOS ANGELES – DAY

The City of Angles glistens in the sun.

INT. THEATER - DAY

That’s an "establishing shot," and it’s not necessary to write ESTABLISHING as part of the scene heading. Good luck and keep writing!

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JANUARY 2016

A FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK

QUESTION

I am stumped and cannot find a solution on the world wide web or anywhere else. I don't want to confuse the reader by signifying a flashback within a flashback. So my script starts with current time/space which is Act 1. During that first act, there is a flashback that takes up most of the story until the Climax. Within that flashback, at the Midpoint of Act 2, there is another flashback, which lasts 1 to 2 pages, and comes back to the more current flashback. How can I not confuse the reader?

ANSWER

You are using the storyteller device, which was also used in "Saving Private Ryan." That's where a character or a series of scenes introduces the main story that takes place in the past. Since most of the movie takes place in the past, use a SUPER (short for "superimpose") rather than a FLASHBACK. In other words, don't call the first flashback a flashback. Thus, you will label your first flashback as follows:

SUPER: "20 Years Earlier"

And then refer to the second flashback as a FLASHBACK. In other words, format the second FLASHBACK like you would any other FLASHBACK. No reader will get lost.

However, what if you have a FLASHBACK within a FLASHBACK where both are relatively short (that is, not using the storyteller device)? The solution is to be clear in your labeling and description. I'll illustrate with a brief example:

EXT. JUNGLE – DAY

Doris and Danny trudge through the jungle swinging their machetes. Doris swings at a tree branch and liberates it in one skillful swing.

BEGIN FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

EXT. FOREST – DAY

TEEN DORIS swings her axe at a tree limb, severing it.

EXT. GIRLS CAMP – NIGHT

Teen Doris drops her tree limbs next to a campfire.

FLASHBACK – DORIS IN HER CHILDHOOD BACKYARD

CHILD DORIS, wearing a safari helmet, swings a plastic sword at the bushes, trying to cut her way through. She proudly picks up a small branch.

BACK TO GIRLS CAMP

Teen Doris proudly throws some tree limbs on the campfire.

END FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

EXT. JUNGLE – NIGHT – BACK TO PRESENT DAY

Doris tosses a tree limb onto a campfire. Danny stands behind her and puts his arms around her waist.

                       DANNY

          It's like you've been doing this
          all your life.

Doris smiles contentedly.

Good luck and keep writing!

 

NOTICE: The new, 4th edition of Dr. Format Tells All is now available. Check it out at http://www.keepwriting.com/drformat/index.htm.

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DECEMBER 2015

FIVE MORE QUESTIONS

QUESTION

Please answer the following formatting questions, if you'd be so kind.

ANSWER

I'll list them below for you, first your numbered questions in Italics, followed by my answers. (Reader, how many of these do you already know the answer to?)

Question 1. What is the format for a split-screen.?

Handle it like an INTERCUT::

SPLIT SCREEN – HELIPAD/RESTAURANT

And then keep the reader oriented as to where we are as you describe the action. If this is a phone conversation, write::

SPLIT SCREEN – JO AT HELIPAD/SUE AT RESTAURANT

And then write out the dialogue.:

Question 2. Even though crosscutting or parallel action cutting is an editing term, it should be visualized and written in the screenplay itself right?

Right; don't use the term CROSS-CUTTING. Just use master scene headings and describe what we see. Here's a quick example:

EXT. HELIPAD

Jo jumps in the helicopter.

EXT. RESTAURANT

Sue looks up into the sky.

And then keep going back and forth, or consider using the INTERCUT.

Describe what we see.

Question 3. Is it okay to format a montage where there is a voiceover along with it?

Yes, you can do that in any kind of scene whether it's a montage, dream, flashback, or what-have-you.

Question 4. In some movies, we see the date, time or location on screen. How do I format this in the screenplay?

Use a SUPER (for superimpose) as follows:

SUPER: "8 a.m., September 11, 2001"

Question 5. Do I write OK or okay?

Okay. And keep writing.

 

NOTICE: The new, 4th edition of Dr. Format Tells All is now available. Check it out at http://www.keepwriting.com/drformat/index.htm.

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NOVEMBER 2015

FIVE QUESTIONS

QUESTION

Please answer the following formatting questions, if you'd be so kind.

ANSWER

I'll list them below for you, first your numbered questions in Italics, followed by my answers. (Reader, how many of these do you already know the answer to?)

Question 1. How do I format a scene where the characters talk, but we don't hear it (muted conversation as background music is playing)? Do I just write, A and B in a heated argument etc.?

Use MOS. MOS means "without sound." So you could write something like this:

Andrea and Roberto argue MOS.

Question 2. a) Can I have 2 consecutive montages? b) If yes, can I have 2 consecutive montages in the same location but during different time like night and the next morning?

Yes, but it seems odd that you would need two, but there's no rule against it. With your Question #b, just have one montage with a change in time. In other words, separate the first montage from the second with a secondary scene heading indicating the time change:

NEXT MORNING

Question 3. How do I format a scene where the conversation is heard in very low volume like we just hear, ok, hmm etc.,? Do I just write the dialogues or should I mention that the conversation is heard feebly on screen?

Just describe what we hear, and if the audience hears the words, then write them out as dialogue. For example:

Skinny speaks so softly, the words can be barely heard.

                    SKINNY
          There's a g-ghost behind you.

Question 4. When describing action, I have seen in many scripts, 3 hyphens "---" is that correct?

For a dash in narrative description or dialogue, use a space, followed by two hyphens, followed by a space -- like that. Don't use three.

Question 5. Can I use the word "some" in scene heading like "SOME HELIPAD", "SOME RESTAURANT" where it is not absolutely essential to mention the exact town or city name?

Mention the exact town or place if that's important. Otherwise, just write helipad or restaurant; for example:

EXT. HELIPAD – DAY

NOTICE: The new, 4th edition of Dr. Format Tells All is now available. Check it out at http://www.keepwriting.com/drformat/index.htm.

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OCTOBER 2015

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN?

QUESTION

If someone is writing a script that takes place in two separate geographical locations; e.g., Cabin on Cape Code and Tundra of Southern Chile, what is the best way to show the reader that the scene has not just changed minor locations but entire continents? Also, with regard to the last question, this is the kind of thing I have been doing with my headings.

INT. CHILE – HUAREZ – HOTEL – CARMEN’S ROOM – EVENING

ANSWER

A scene heading should indicate the specific location of the scene, not everything you know about that location. Also, unless absolutely necessary, use DAY or NIGHT. Thus, I would revise your above example to the following:

INT. CARMEN'S HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Carmen's hotel room is the specific location of the scene. All the other information should come out in narrative description or previous scene headings. Here's an example of what I mean:

EXT. CHILEAN TUNDRA – DAY

The vast Southern Chilean tundra extends for miles.

SUPER: "Southern Chile."

The city of Huarez is visible in the distance.

EXT. HUAREZ HOTEL – SAME

A five-story red-brick monolith dominates the smaller shops that surround it.

INT. CARMEN'S HOTEL ROOM – SAME

You could replace SAME with CONTINUOUS if you wish. It's your choice.

SOUNDS ARE SOUNDS, WORDS ARE WORDS

QUESTION

In my script, I have characters who make a lot of sounds, and sometimes I have written something like the following:

                         BOB
                 (gasps)

                         LINDA
                 (groans loudly)

So my question is, may I write parentheticals without any actual dialogue?

ANSWER

No. Dialogue consists of the actual words spoken by the character. Any other utterances are just sounds and should be written as narrative description, as follows:

Bob gasps.

Linda groans loudly.

The same is true of the sounds made by animals. Even though they may be communicating, write their barks and meows as sounds. If the sounds are crucial, and you want to emphasize them, it's okay to place them in CAPS, but it's not necessary that you do so.

NOTICE: The new, 4th edition of Dr. Format Tells All is now available. Check it out at http://www.keepwriting.com/drformat/index.htm.

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SEPTEMBER 2015

TIME LAPSES

QUESTION

I'm stumped. I want to show a time lapse from day to night for a story reason. A character, Jimmy, parks a Chevy automobile next to a building; someone is locked in the trunk (established in an earlier scene). I want to focus on the Chevy while everything around it changes. Jimmy will stand by the car and then disappear. The sequence will end in a light rain for the next scene. How do I format that?

ANSWER

The fact that you have a "story reason" for this time lapse is what prompted me to respond. I would use a format that is similar to the MONTAGE. How about something like this?

TIME LAPSE

The Chevy stays in the same place as everything around it changes.

-- Jimmy disappears.

-- The day evolves into night as lights go on, then out, in the building behind the car.

-- Two teenagers gather around the Chevy, then disappear.

-- A light rain drizzles.

EXT. STREET - MORNING

The only sound is the rain on the Chevy. And then the usual sounds of morning become apparent.

HOW MUCH DETAIL?

QUESTION

After watching movies like The Ring and Identity, I was wondering how much of the script actually turns into the visuals we see on the screen. Does the writer simply provide his/her version with dialogue and minor details and the director creates his/her own vision for the screen? My main question is when writing, how much description of key actions can the writer use throughout the script if it is relevant to the story?

ANSWER

If an action moves the story forward or adds to character, then write it. A spec script should contain specific details, but only those details that are important to the story or which reveal character.

For example, here is a small detail from a script.

Selma picks up her cup of coffee.

Normally, this incidental detail is unnecessary. It's not important enough to keep. On the other hand, if there is poison in that cup of coffee, then it is a key detail that should be in the script.

If there is a fight scene, describe the scene so that the reader can visualize it. You don't have to choreograph the fight, but you need to describe blows and tumbles. What the director chooses to use or not use is up to him/her.

Remember, your job is to give the script reader goose bumps, tense up her muscles, make her laugh, or bring tears to his eyes. You can't do that with general or vague details such as "They fight," or "they make love." At the same time, don't add unnecessary details. Remember, the more you write, the more you will get a sense of how much detail to add. So keep writing.

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AUGUST 2015

SOUNDING OFF

QUESTION

I understand that SOUNDS are sometimes written in CAPS, but I have also seen characters (after their initial introduction), places, and actions put in all-CAPS. For example:

1. The door swings open and BILL saunters into the room with a handful of QUARTERS.

2. The CAR dims its lights and turns into the CONVENIENCE STORE LOT.

3. The boy STRIKES his father and FLEES on a bike.

What is your opinion on CAPS being used in this manner? I see it all the time, yet I've never read anything about it in formatting books or the like.

ANSWER

The reason you see it a lot is because you are (likely) reading shooting scripts. The reason you seldom see it in screenwriting books is because they generally provide instruction for spec scripts. A spec script is one written to sell; a shooting script is written for the shoot. In a shooting script, sounds and props are CAPPED so that the production manager can easily break down the script (prepare a shooting schedule, make lists of props and sound effects, and so on). On occasion, you may find a shooting script where all character names are CAPPED so that they can be tracked in the breakdown.

Unfortunately, many developing writers use these shooting script conventions in their spec scripts, or they want to emphasize a word by CAPPING it. The use of all-CAPS is hard on the eyes. Let's review your three examples in view of generally accepted spec writing conventions.

1. If this is not Bill's first appearance in the screenplay, his name should not appear in CAPS. The QUARTERS are a prop and should not be CAPPED in a spec script. In fact, as a general rule, nouns are not placed in CAPS, and that includes props, objects, places, and things. (The exception is the name of a character when he or she first appears in the screenplay.) Thus, this sentence should be written as follows:

The door swings open and Bill saunters into the room with a handful of quarters.

2. The word "car" should not appear in CAPS. It's a noun. The CONVENIENCE STORE LOT appears to be a new location. If so, it should be written as a scene heading (slug line). If the convenience store lot is a secondary location that is part of the master scene location, then this sentence would be written as follows:

The car dims its lights and turns into the

CONVENIENCE STORE LOT

where it slows to a stop.

If the convenience store lot is a new master scene location, then the sentence should be revised as follows.

The car dims its lights and turns.

EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE LOT - CONTINUOUS

The car slows to a stop in the parking lot.

What's the difference between a master scene heading and a secondary scene heading? The master scene heading presents a master location. A secondary scene heading presents a location that is part of the master location. Here's an example.

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT

A man wearing a werewolf Halloween mask enters.

AT THE COUNTER

the clerk freezes in fear.

IN THE AISLE

a young couple faint together.

AT THE COUNTER

the masked man opens a large paper sack.

                  MASKED MAN
        Trick or treat.

In the above example, you can clearly see that the counter and aisle are secondary locations that are part of the primary or master location (the store). Even though the above example is in correct format, the scene doesn't have to be written that way. What follows would also be correct and probably preferred.

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT

A man wearing a werewolf Halloween mask enters.

The clerk at the counter freezes in fear.

In one of the aisles, a young couple faint together.

The masked man steps towards the clerk and opens a Halloween sack.

                   MASKED MAN
        Trick or treat.

Notice, in the above scene, that there is no word in the narrative description written in CAPS.

3. In this example, the CAPS emphasize action and imply sound effects. The words "strikes" and "flees" do not need be placed in CAPS in a spec script. Although you are no longer required to CAP sounds in a spec script, it is okay to CAP important sounds, if you wish. So you might want to CAP the word "strike." It's your choice.

MORE CAPS

QUESTION

After a character is introduced as BURLY COP, what is the correct form for the remainder of the script? For instance, I have seen it written [in narrative description] as Burly Cop, burly cop, and even burly Cop. After reading hundreds of screenplays and numerous books, I have yet to find a clear-cut answer for this.

ANSWER

Burly Cop. Good luck and keep writing.

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JULY 2015

LOOK WHO’S TALKING

QUESTION

What is the proper format to use for an animal that makes animal sounds, but who also talks? For example:  A dog barks, then in a human voice says, "Hey, cut that out!"

ANSWER

Animal sounds should be written as narrative description.  That's because only words are considered to be dialogue.  Thus, you would write your example as follows.

Sparky barks, and then speaks in English.

                         SPARKY
          Hey, cut that out!

I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM

QUESTION

How does one write non-conversational vocal sounds, like screams?  Are they written as action [narrative description]?  Or are they placed under a character's name [as in the example below]?

                         LORI
                 (screams)

How about this:

                         LORI
                 Yaaarrrrrgh!

ANSWER

Screams, yelps, and such are sounds, and should be written as narrative description.  Dialogue consists of spoken or shouted words only.  The following is correct.

Lori screams.

Notice that I did not write the sound (screams) in CAPS.  You may CAP important sounds if you wish, but it is no longer necessary in spec writing.

PARENTHETICAL ACTION

QUESTION

I have been told that I cannot end a dialogue block with an action as shown below.  Is that true?

                         GERTIE
          I'm going to make you hurt.
                 (smiling with devilish
                 delight).

ANSWER

You have been told correctly.  You should not end a dialogue block with an action.  You can handle this situation in one of two ways.

                         GERTIE
                 (smiling with devilish
                 delight).
          I'm going to make you hurt.

Or--

                         GERTIE
          I'm going to make you hurt.

She smiles with devilish delight.

Or sometimes you can get away with breaking the rules.

DIALOGUE IS DIALOGUE

QUESTION

I have a scene where a character discovers a journal and reads an entry from it.  Since it's not really up to me whether the character reads the entry aloud or if the actual entry is displayed on screen, how should I format this in the script?

ANSWER

Before I answer the question, let me make two points.  First, don't be ambiguous in a screenplay. Write what we see and hear.  Either the character reads the journal out loud or the audience reads it silently—you decide in the screenplay.  Yes, the director may change what you wrote later, but at least give him or her a vision of what you see.

Second, only dialogue is dialogue.  You can only write in dialogue words that are spoken, shouted, or whispered.

Now, in answer to your question, I see two ways to approach this formatting problem.

If the journal entry is very short, you might consider allowing the audience to read it.  Use the INSERT for that.

INSERT - NATASHA'S JOURNAL, which reads:

          "I love Boris, but I plan to leave
          him for Fearless Leader."

(By the way, here is how you indent using Movie Magic Screenwriter:  Select the "Action" element. Then click on "Format" on the top toolbar and then "Cheat" and "Element" (F3). Select the margins you want (2.5 on the left and 2.5 on the right.)

If the journal entry is longer, then perhaps your character can read it to the audience.

Boris tiptoes into Natasha's room, spots her journal, and turns to the last page.  His eyes soften.

                         NATASHA (V.O.)
          I love Boris, but I plan to leave
          him for Fearless Leader.  Why?
          His silly mustache tickles me.

As you can see, all of this month's questions have to do with writing dialogue and writing action that is connected with dialogue.  I hope your dialogue brings you a lot of action.

 

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JUNE 2015

WHY NOT USE CAMERA DIRECTIONS?

QUESTION

Dave, can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't include camera directions in my script? After all, I want the director to see my visual intent.

ANSWER

I'll give you three.

1. You are not writing primarily for the director, but for the reader, and most, if not all, professional readers don't like camera directions.

2. A reader likes readability; that is, a script that is easy to read. CAPS are hard on the eyes and camera directions break up the flow of the story. A spec script should direct the camera without using camera directions; that will give the director your "visual intent."

For example, don't write something like this:

CLOSE UP of Bart's face. ECU twitching eye.

Instead, write something like this :

Bart's eye twitches.

That has to be a CLOSE UP, and it's a lot easier to read.

3. Your scene may not be shot the way you envision it anyway. When a scene is blocked, a director often finds that adjustments have to be made.

For example, in LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE, the pier scene where Dwayne tells Frank he'll find a way to fly was originally written to be shot while the two were surfing. Thus, a wave pouring over the characters could be seen as symbolic of baptism or rebirth. In reality, it was hard to shoot and looked silly with wave after wave coming during this serious moment. And so they shot it again on the pier, and that's the version that was kept.

ABBREVIATIONS AND SLANG

QUESTION

Can you use abbreviations of words such as cos or gotta or "em in a screenplay? Or is it best to spell them out—because, got to, and them?

ANSWER

What you refer to are not abbreviations, but slang words or alternate spellings to convey pronunciation. This can be done to show a dialect or a particular accent or the particular manner of speaking that your character uses.

 

However, don't abbreviate in dialogue. For example, write "Doctor" rather than "Dr." Write "university" rather than "univ." Acronyms, such as C.I.A. and ASAP, are perfectly okay.

 

Good luck and keep writing.

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MAY 2015

VISIONS, HALLUCINATIONS, AND MIRAGES

QUESTION

Say you’re writing a scene where somebody is seeing something mentally (presumably the people with him or her wouldn’t see whatever the image was). You want the audience to see what the character is seeing as well. How would you write that?

ANSWER

Let’s assume that your character’s name is Sybil. Just write what the audience and Sybil see, and label it clearly so that the reader knows that it is only Sybil’s vision. You would format it as you would a flashback or a dream:

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

Bart and Sybil meander through the woods holding hands. Sybil suddenly stops and gazes up at the sky.

SYBIL’S VISION

 

A bright light descends over her. It’s her dead mama shaking a scolding finger at her.

 

BACK TO WOODS

Bart sees Sybil recoil, but doesn’t see Mama.

By labeling it as SYBIL’S VISION, you indicate that no character other than Sybil sees the vision. Notice that I made that absolutely clear in the last paragraph of narrative description that follows the vision. Use this same format for hallucinations and mirages. Always strive for clarity.

TWO NAMES ARE BETTER THAN ONE

QUESTION

How does a writer denote in a spec screenplay the fact that a character has a double identity, and is known to individual characters under two separate identities? Example: a character is known as RALPH to one set of characters, but JIMBO to another—do you type both RALPH/JIMBO each time he speaks dialogue in the screenplay? Bear in mind that the crux of the story is that he appears as a good guy to one set of characters and as a dirty rat to another set of characters.

ANSWER

You ask a good question, since it will be important to not confuse the reader. Clarity is the overriding principle in cases like this one. That is why you should normally use the same name in your character cue throughout the screenplay. Thus, I believe the best solution is the one you suggest. Refer to the character as RALPH/JIMBO in the dialogue character cue whenever he speaks, as follows:

                    RALPH/JIMBO
         What did you just call me?

Now if this character’s true identity is RALPH and that’s established early, then consider referring to him as RALPH (in the character cue) throughout the entire screenplay, even though some or most characters call him something else. That is what happens in NORTH BY NORTHWEST. We know that Cary Grant is Roger Thornhill, even though most people call him by another name during the majority of the movie. Thus, the character cue shows THORNHILL throughout the entire script.

Finally, if the character is known as RALPH throughout the screenplay and then later in the screenplay, his actual name is revealed to be JIMBO, then type RALPH in the character cue until his true name is revealed, and refer to him as RALPH/JIMBO thereafter.

I'M OKAY IF YOU'RE OK

QUESTION

OK or Okay? I have an editor friend of mine who keeps correcting my "OK's"! She says they need to be spelled out as "okay," but I think "OK" is acceptable. Please help.

ANSWER

Technically, your editor is correct. "Okay" is a word. "OK" is an acronym with many theories of origin. But most readers don't care which you use. Even so, everything will be okay if you use okay…and keep writing.

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APRIL 2015

INFLAMMATORY INTERCUTS

QUESTION

I once had a writing instructor say a writer should not use words that "do the director's job"—it's the sign of a novice. Might using the INTERCUT be considered telling the director how to direct?

ANSWER

The INTERCUT is mainly used for phone conversations; its purpose is to show both speaking parties, but it essentially communicates to the reader (and the eventual director): "Show whomever you want to show when you want to show him or her." So in this sense, the INTERCUT actually gives license to the director.

In addition, if you choose to use the INTERCUT for a dramatic reason, then the reader will see that purpose. For example, it may be more suspenseful in one scene to only show one character in a phone conversation so that we (the audience) can't see who is calling her or hear what is said. In another scene, it might make more dramatic sense to let us (the audience) hear what the other character says without showing him.

When you make writing decisions based on story and character issues, then you're much less likely to offend the reader and the eventual director. What is irritating to readers is a screenplay jammed with camera directions, shot descriptions, and editing directions without a compelling dramatic or comedic objective. Even then, it's wise to avoid those technical intrusions. The INTERCUT is seldom seen as a technical intrusion.

MAGICAL FLASHBACKS

QUESTION

What about flashbacks that use magic? Would I have to note that it's a psychic or magical flashback? For example, a psychic detective picks up a hairbrush handle. Then we see what is in his head: a young woman brushing her hair when a man in dark apparel comes through the window.

ANSWER

This is a great question. You would handle the formatting just like a flashback, but you might use different labeling; in other words, you could choose to not call it a flashback for purposes of clarity. Here's just one possible example:

Detective Sam picks up a hairbrush.

SAM'S PSYCHIC VISION

A young woman sits at her vanity and brushes her hair. A man in dark apparel slips through the window behind her.

BACK TO SCENE

Naturally, if the woman and the man in dark apparel are appearing in the script for this first time, you would place their names or labels in all-CAPS (such as DARK MAN). And then you would keep writing!

Keep writing and take $20 off a script evaluation by Yours Truly. Just email me for details at dave@keepwriting.com..

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MARCH 2015

MORPHING MORTIMER

QUESTION

In a number of transitions in my screenplay, we are going to see a person in the middle of an action morph into a younger version of himself without a break in the action, but indeed a change of scenery and time. How do I handle that?

ANSWER

There are many possibilities. Here is one:

INT. THEATER – NIGHT

The theater is packed with fans.

MORTIMER struts across the stage playing his harmonica. He MORPHS into....

EXT. KANSAS CITY BACK ALLEY – DAY

...YOUNG MORTIMER (15) playing the same tune on his harmonica.

SUPER: "KANSAS CITY 1983"

BOLD AND COURAGEOUS HEADINGS

QUESTION

What do you think of the new bold-and-underline format for scene headings?

ANSWER

I think it's perfectly okay, but completely unnecessary. The standard is still ordinary, unadorned scene headings. You'll know when that changes when the two major software companies (Final Draft and Movie Magic Screenwriter) incorporate the bold-and-underline style (or bold style, or underline style) into their applications.

In the meantime, I suggest you stick with the regular scene heading style unless a different style is specifically requested, or you have fallen in love with it and feel courageous. The main thing is to courageously keep writing!

Take $20 off a script evaluation by Yours Truly. Just email me for details at dave@keepwriting.com..

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FEBRUARY 2015

DO I HAVE TO USE FORMATTING?

QUESTION

Shouldn't the script writer just write a good script and let the tech people figure out all that [formatting] stuff? Does a screenwriter really need to know how to direct the camera? My experience in writing plays is that the director ignores almost all the directions; I'm pretty sure the same applies to film scripts. In other words, the scriptwriter, like the playwright, supplies the words that people speak to each other, and it is left to other professionals to film it.

ANSWER

My friend, let's take this one idea at a time.

Yes, the script writer should "write a good script," and that "good script" by definition would include correct format. It's not a script unless it's written in script format. Your premise almost sounds like this: "I'd like to write in Spanish without having to use the Spanish language." Use the language of film.

You mention the "tech people." You are not writing for the tech people, the director, or the actors. You are writing primarily for the reader (story analyst), who is almost always the first person to read a script and write a coverage for the producer or agent the script was intended for. If the coverage is negative, the agent or producer is unlikely to read the script. Readers read quickly because they have so much to read, so they expect a script to meet some minimum requirements, such as appearance (that is, correct format).

Does a screenwriter really need to know how to direct the camera? No. A spec script (written on speculation that you will sell it later) should not contain camera directions, shot descriptions, editing directions, or other technical directions normally found in a shooting script. That should come as good news. However, it helps to understand the visual aspects of film and write the script in such a way that you direct the camera without using camera directions. For example:

A vulture circles high above the grassland until swooping down on a half-eaten gazelle.

He picks at the gazelle's eye.

The first paragraph implies an aerial shot or crane shot with the camera descending down to the jungle floor. The second paragraph is a CLOSE UP. A professional reader will get that.

You mention the director. The director is the second creator of the film (with the editor being the third), and certainly the director will have his or her ideas as you correctly implied. However, your script should include enough detail that your vision is not only understood by the reader, but your story involves him or her emotionally so that your script eventually becomes a movie.

Good luck with that prospect and keep writing! And take $20 off a script evaluation by Yours Truly. Just email me for details at dave@keepwriting.com.

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JANUARY 2015

CAPPING NAMES

QUESTION

Should I place a name in all-CAPS for characters with no speaking parts, but which interact with other characters? In my case, I have a dog and baby who move the story forward but don’t talk.

ANSWER

When any individual character first appears in narrative description, that character’s name or label should be placed in all-CAPS that first time, even if the character doesn’t talk later. If your dog is called MAX, that name should appear in all-CAPS that first time only. The same is true of characters without names who are labeled, such as CHUBBY COP, CRYING BABY and SEXY WAITRESS.

It is not necessary to CAP groups of characters, like “the crowd,” but it’s perfectly okay to do so if you wish.

 

CONTINUOUS

QUESTION

Someone told me that using CONTINUOUS in slug lines [scene headings] is wrong. Is that true?

ANSWER

What that person may have meant is if it is already obvious that one scene follows continuously a previous scene without any jump in time, then writing CONTINUOUS is not necessary. For example:

INT. HOUSE – DAY

John opens the door and steps out.

EXT. HOUSE

John steps onto the porch.

In the above situation, it is obvious that one scene follows the previous scene continuously. However, if that is not clear, then definitely use CONTINUOUS so that the reader doesn’t misunderstand.

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

QUESTION

How about DAY or NIGHT?

ANSWER

The same logic applies, but don’t outsmart yourself and confuse a reader who may wonder for a given scene, is it day or night?

 

WE THE PEOPLE

QUESTION

I’d like your opinion on using “AND WE” when transitioning between scenes. I have seen this technique used in many shooting scripts.

ANSWER

Don’t use it in a spec script. As a general guideline, avoid the use of first person: AND WE, WE SEE, WE HEAR, WE MOVE, and so on. Naturally, there can be exceptions.

Good luck and keep writing! And take $20 off a script evaluation by Yours Truly. Just email me for details at dave@keepwriting.com.

 

 

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DECEMBER 2014

THE HOLLYWOOD SLASHER

QUESTION

In a couple of "Hollywood" scripts that I have read, I see scene headings that use a slash as follows:

INT. JILL'S MARKET/BAKERY – DAY

EXT. LANCE'S CAR/WASHINGTON, DC – DAY

ANSWER

The slash is not used correctly in either case above. The slash is generally used to indicate that we are at two places at the same time and that the director and editor may alternate between the two locations at will. It is most often used with the INTERCUT in telephone conversations, as follows:

–TERESA'S KITCHEN/BOB'S BEDROOM

Now the camera can be either location at any point in the conversation.

Your first example presents a master (primary) location followed by a secondary location (that is part of the master location). This would be correct:

EXT. JILL'S MARKET – BAKERY – DAY

The same is true for the second example, but the master location is erroneously named last. Also, in this case where you simply want the reader to know we're in Washington, but not actually show us the city of Washington, use parentheses as follows:

EXT. LANCE'S CAR (WASHINGTON, DC) – DAY

WHAT TO DO WITH A SKULL

QUESTION

You say in your book that when a character's name is used as a secondary scene heading that it means the camera is on that character until the next scene heading. So how would you make the transition in the following scene?

THE GROUNDSKEEPER

is spellbound by the weird mesh holding the skulls together.

Suddenly, the skulls come alive.

ANSWER

Sometimes you can cheat a little if you are absolutely clear, and the above may be the exception that proves the rule (or should I say "guideline"). On the other hand, why not get rid of the secondary scene heading altogether; for example:

The Groundskeeper is spellbound by the weird mesh holding the skulls together.

Suddenly, the skulls come alive.

Good luck and keep writing! And take $20 off a script evaluation by Yours Truly. Just email me for details at dave@keepwriting.com.

 

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November 2014

POTTY TALK

QUESTION

I am writing a script, and I want to know how I would write shit as in “and then a bird shits on the windshield.” Should I use crap, poop, or something else?

ANSWER

How about defecates? The word is not as important as the action. Make this visually interesting to the reader. Here’s one possible example:

A raven releases a white bomb on the windshield -- SPLAT! The windshield wiper smears the payload across the window.

Let me address your underlying question: Is it okay to use “naughty words” in a screenplay? My general response is to take the high road when writing narrative description, but to write what the characters say in dialogue. Of course, if you are writing a “low comedy,” then you might want to maintain that tone in your narrative description as well as in your dialogue. Finally, don’t use “language” just to demonstrate that you are hip; make sure all of your words contribute to the reading experience; in other words, write clear, visual narrative description and crisp, original dialogue.

I once had an agent tell me a curious thing, and she was referring to dialogue. She said, “Use less profanity and crude language in your script than you would expect to see in the completed movie.”  She told me that a lot of "language” grates on a reader. Since then, I have read hundreds of scripts, and would tend to agree with her.

PHONE TALK

QUESTION

I am having trouble with one of my scenes and I need help. There are two characters. One character is on screen, and the other is in another location on the phone. Should I use (O.C.) or (O.S.)?

Furthermore, when the two characters are speaking to each other, should I only establish the parenthetical (O.C.) or (O.S.) once in association with that character or throughout the character’s dialogue in the scene?

ANSWER

Let’s answer the first question first. Don’t use (O.C.) at all; it has fallen out of use. 

It appears as though the second character is in a separate location and we only hear his voice through the phone. In that case, his dialogue is “voiced over” (V.O.). Use (O.S.) if a character is in the scene at the location, but is “off screen.” In other words, use (O.S.) if we don’t see her on the silver screen, but she is there in the scene at the scene location.

To answer your second question, use (V.O.) in every instance that the character’s dialogue is “voiced over,” and use (O.S.) for every instance that the character’s dialogue is spoken “off screen.” Be clear. Have fun. And keep writing.

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OCTOBER 2014

WHO’S COUNTING?

QUESTION

Although I don’t use a software package for writing my screenplays (I use Word), I strictly follow the formatting conventions. The other day on a screenwriter’s message forum, I read that the lines-per-page standard is 54 lines. To date I’ve never read that in any formatting book. Further, the message stated that Microsoft Word’s default single line spacing results in only 50 lines per page. Applying that formatting scheme to my 106-page screenplay, it shrunk to 96 pages. Can you clarify this “lines per page” standard?

ANSWER

Anywhere between 50-55 lines is okay, but who’s counting? I don’t know any readers who do. Line spacing is less crucial to a spec script than to a shooting script. However, if a reader looks at your script and the lines seem crammed together, then that’s a negative, so stay within that 50-55 lines range. Incidentally, now you know what to do if your script is too long or too short. :-)

Of course, if you own Movie Magic Screenwriter, then you don’t have to worry. All the tabs and margins are pre-set to industry standards.

THE STORYTELLER

QUESTION

My script is pretty much told in flashback, so would I format that as FLASHBACK, write the rest of the story until I reach the point where we come out of the flashback, and then write END OF FLASHBACK or BACK TO PRESENT DAY?

ANSWER

It appears that you are using the “storyteller device.” In other words, most of your movie is one long flashback, as is the case with Saving Private Ryan. Therefore, instead of a flashback, use a SUPER (short for superimpose) that identifies the year that we flash back to. Here’s an example that assumes your character is a 71-year-old man at the beginning of the movie.

John’s eyes get misty. He looks off into the distance.
          
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - DAY
     
An 18-year-old John stands at a busy intersection.

SUPER: "San Francisco, 1950."

 

At the end of the movie, you will return to PRESENT DAY.

 

 

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SEPTEMBER 2014

ACTION AND PARENTHETICALS

QUESTION

Is the following example correct?

 

                    JACK
               (grabs Jill by the
                hand)
          Could sure use some water, my dear.
               (a beat; starts up
                the hill)

                    JILL
               (snatches the bucket
                out of his hand)
          Sounds like a good idea, Jack.
               (swings bucket around
                and around as they near
                the well)

 

ANSWER

Action should be written as action, unless that action can be described in just a few words (tipping his hat). Also, do not end a dialogue block with a parenthetical; end it with dialogue. Finally, the dialogue in the example above is stiff; let’s make it more natural. At the same time, we’ll try to give the scene a little more movement. Here is my revision.

 

Jack shows Jill his empty bucket.

 

                    JACK
          Water?

Jill snatches the bucket.

                    JILL
          Race ya.

She swings the bucket around as they gallop to the well.

 

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’

QUESTION

I want to be a screenwriter, but I cannot move to L.A. What do I do?

ANSWER

You don’t have to move to L.A. It helps, but it is not necessary. Writers such as Diablo Cody (JUNO) and Michael Arndt (LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE) break in from outside of L.A. all the time. Just keep writing.

 

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AUGUST 2014

HOW MUCH DETAIL?

QUESTION

I know I shouldn’t direct the director, so I try to keep the dialogue and description lean. But where do I draw the line between too little detail and too much detail? For example, should I write:

 

Molly cries.

Or...

Molly cries. Her body shakes, hands tremble, face turns red.

 

 

ANSWER

This is an important question because, as writers, we sometimes wonder where this fine line lies. Your second example adds drama and interest. If Molly is an important character, the reader will more readily identify with your second example. But don’t go beyond that and describe how her tears refract the light streaming through the window, creating a prism of sad colors. The key is to provide details that move the story forward, add dimension to your characters, dramatize dramatic and emotional moments, and add atmosphere (be careful here).

 

It follows that you don’t need to include every incidental action. For example, don’t write “He lays the coffee cup on the edge of the table.” No one cares where he lays the coffee cup unless he is going to spill it later, or it contains poison. Focus on story and character elements.

 

If your character enters a classroom, just describe it as an ordinary classroom. We do not need to know about the windows unless someone is going to come through those windows. We don’t need to know what kinds of desks or chairs are in the room unless our character cannot fit into his/her desk. Again, focus on story and character elements.

AND THE MUSIC?

QUESTION

Shouldn’t I indicate when the orchestra plays?

ANSWER

No. Your great writing establishes the mood for each scene. This is where the music composer should get his/her cues. 

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JULY 2014

MARGIN CALL

QUESTION

As I understand it, the right margin of a script should be at one-half inch, but I have seen the right margin of some scripts at anywhere from a half inch to 1.5 inches.  What is correct?

ANSWER

They all are.  The right margin is normally at one-half inch to one inch.  However, if your screenplay length is bit short and you need to add pages, you might consider creating more white space on each of the pages—that’s one reason you might have a right margin of more than an inch.  It’s your call.  However, the following always applies:  Left margin should be 1.5 inches, right margin should be  no shorter than one-half inch, and the right margin should be ragged. 

CALLING THE SHOTS

QUESTION

As I understand it, the right margin of a script should be at one-half inch, but I have seen the right margin of some scripts at anywhere from a half inch to 1.5 inches.  What is correct?

 

EXT. HOUSE - DAY

CLOSE SHOT

Mark opens the door.

Or, would this be better:

EXT. HOUSE - DAY

CLOSE ON Mark as he opens the door.

 

 

ANSWER

I do not see a reason for either camera direction.  The following is more acceptable and more readable, plus it implies a CLOSE UP of Mark and the door.

 

EXT. HOUSE - DAY

Mark opens the door.

Relax and keep writing!

 

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JUNE 2014

GOING VIRAL

QUESTION

How do you format a monologue accompanied by a series of shots that describe what the monologue is about (for example, a monologue about the downfall of human civilization due to a slowly creeping virus over the course of several years).

 

ANSWER

You could use a series of shots or a montage for this.  The key in either case is to match images to dialogue, just as you would do in a scene.  Here is an example, using the montage format:

 

MONTAGE – THE VIRUS PROGRESSES

-- JAMES BOYLE, 45, with a huge grotesque nose explains to a video camera.  He pulls out a handkerchief.

                     BOYLE
        About three years ago, there was no
        sign that the virus had taken effect.

-- On a beach, perfectly normal people play and have fun.

                     BOYLE
        Then, two years ago, we noticed that
        the average nose size of Americans
        was slightly larger.

-- A family plays ping pong.  They have large noses.  Two of them rub their noses with handkerchiefs.

                     BOYLE
        Noses kept growing and with that
        growth, colds became more intense....

-- People sit in basketball bleachers.  All of them have noses twice the size of normal.  All of them cough or sneeze continuously until one drops dead.

                     BOYLE
        ... Until people started dying.  Now
        more people are dying than are being
        born.  It could be the end of civili-
        zation as we know it.

-- Boyle’s nose is now even larger.  He sneezes and crumbles to the ground.  Silence.  No one comes to his aid.

You get the idea.  A series of shots would look very much the same.

SERIES OF SHOTS – THE VIRUS PROGRESSES

A) JAMES BOYLE, 45, with a huge grotesque nose explains to a video camera.  He pulls out a handkerchief.

Be well and keep writing!

 

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MAY 2014

I SMELL A RAT

QUESTION

How does a writer denote in a spec screenplay the fact that a character has a double identity, and is known to individual characters under two separate identities?  Example: a character is known as BILL to one set of characters, but JIM to another—do you type both BILL/JIM each time he speaks dialogue in the screenplay?  Bear in mind that the crux of the story is that he appears as a good guy to one set of characters and as a dirty rat to another set of characters.

 

ANSWER

You ask a good question, since it will be important to not confuse the reader.  Clarity is the overriding principle in cases like this one.  That is why you should normally use the same name in your character cue throughout the screenplay.  Thus, I believe the best solution is the one you suggest.  Refer to the character as BILL/JIM in the dialogue character cue whenever he speaks, as follows:

 

                    BILL/JIM
          What did you just call me?

Now if this character’s true identity is BILL and that’s established early, then consider referring to him as BILL (in the character cue) throughout the entire screenplay, even though some characters might call him something else (in dialogue).

That is what happens in NORTH BY NORTHWEST.  We know that Cary Grant plays the role of Roger Thornhill, even though most people call Thornhill by another name during the majority of the movie.  Thus, the character cue shows THORNHILL throughout the entire script, regardless of how people address him.

 

 

I FEEL OKAY

QUESTION

OK or Okay?  I have an editor friend of mine who keeps correcting my “Ok’s”!  She says they need to be spelled out as “okay,” but I think “OK” is acceptable.  Please help.

 

ANSWER

Your editor is okay by me.  And technically, she is okay.  “Okay” is a word.  “OK” is an acronym or a derivation of a foreign expression—no one really knows for sure the origin.  The one thing that every grammarian agrees on is it is not a word and should not be used—okay?  Now that we’ve settled that, keep writing.

 

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APRIL 2014

I SEE THE LIGHT

QUESTION

Say you’re writing a scene where somebody is seeing something mentally (presumably the people with him or her wouldn’t see whatever the image was).  You want the audience to see what the character is seeing as well.  How would you write that?

For example, there was a TV movie that aired called Living With the Dead with Ted Danson.  In several scenes, the main character sees visions in his head, and we the audience see the same visions. How would that be written?  Would we need a whole new scene heading for each mental image, even though we really haven’t left the first scene?

 

ANSWER

Let’s assume that your character’s name is Dame Nostra.  Just write what the audience sees, and label it clearly.  You would format it just as you would a flashback or a dream, but instead of DAME NOSTRA’S DREAM or FLASHBACK as a heading (slug line), your heading would be DAME NOSTRA’S IMAGINATION OR THE DAME’S VISION, or something similar to that.  For example, if she sees the woods at night, you might write:

 

DAME NOSTRA’S VISION - THE WOODS AT NIGHT

And then describe what Dame Nostra and the audience see.  The main thing is to clearly communicate to the reader what is happening on the movie screen.  If there is more than one vision in a row, handle it like a MONTAGE, as follows:

 

DAME NOSTRA’S VISIONS

-- A man drags a body into the woods.

-- A plane flies into a skyscraper.

And so on.

 

 

I HEAR THE PHONE

QUESTION

What is the best way to cross cut a telephone conversation that cuts back and forth between two characters?

 

ANSWER

I think you want the INTERCUT here.  Simply establish the two locations, then write out the telephone conversation, as follows:

INT. MARY’S KITCHEN - NIGHT

Mary paces nervously, then punches numbers on her phone.

INT. DARIN’S CAR - SAME

Darin drives through the rain, looking depressed.  His cell phone rings.

INTERCUT - TELEPHONE CONVERSATION

                   MARY
        Come back.

                   DARIN
        What?  Now?

                   MARY
        Yes.  Please.

                   DARIN
        Give me one good reason.

                   MARY
        You forgot your casserole bowl.

                   DARIN
        I’ll be right there.

 

Here’s an alternate way to handle this.

 

INTERCUT PHONE CONVERSATION – MARY’S KITCHEN/DARIN’S CAR

Mary paces nervously, then punches numbers on her phone.

Darin drives through the rain, looking depressed.  His cell phone rings. 

 

And then write out the dialogue…and keep writing.

 

---

 

MARCH 2014

LOCATING THE LOCATION

QUESTION

What is the correct format for a montage that has a series of scenes at different locations, but no dialogue?

 

ANSWER

There are many correct ways to format a MONTAGE or SERIES OF SHOTS.  It all depends on your purpose.  Generally, a MONTAGE is used to describe a series of images that convey a concept, such as passage of time or falling in love.  The SERIES OF SHOTS is for a straight narrative, a chronology of events.  Naturally, the two are often used interchangeably.

 

What follows is standard format for the MONTAGE:

 

MONTAGE - JOHN WAITS FOR MARY

-- John glances at the waiting room clock.  It’s 10:00.

-- He stares at a door, glances back at the clock -- 10:30.

-- He paces the room nervously -- 11:00.  The door opens and Mary exits the bathroom.

In your question, you describe a series of locations.  So let’s format a MONTAGE that emphasizes location:

 

MONTAGE - JOHN FALLS FOR MARY

-- AT A RESTAURANT -- John and Mary exchange caring glances over a glass of wine.

-- AT THE BEACH -- John and Mary frolic in the sun.

-- ON MARY’S BALCONY -- John kisses Mary, then falls back over the railing, flailing his arms.

Of course, you don’t necessarily have to CAP your locations.  For example, you could write:

 

-- At a restaurant, John and Mary exchange caring glances over a glass of wine.

And so on.  Whatever format you decide to use, be consistent.

 

Let’s look at standard format for a SERIES OF SHOTS:

SERIES OF SHOTS - John gets even.

 

A) John lifts a gun from his desk drawer.

 

B) John strides down a sidewalk. 

 

C) Mary answers the door.  John pulls the trigger.  A stream of water hits Mary in the face.

As you can see, there is very little difference between the MONTAGE and SERIES OF SHOTS.  In both cases, you start with an informative heading, and then list shots in a way that best suits your purpose.  The main thing is to follow the basic form and strive for clarity so that the reader can follow what is happening.

By the way, the example is taken from the new 6th edition of The Screenwriter’s Bible, due for release in March, 2014.

 

NAME CHANGES

QUESTION

I am writing a script with a character whose name will change late in the first act.  How should this be indicated in the script?  Should he be TOM and then later TOM/HARRY?

 

ANSWER

As a general rule, you want a character to have the same exact name in the character cue throughout the entire script.  (The character cue section of a dialogue block is where you type the name of the person speaking.)  In NORTH BY NORTHWEST, we have a case of mistaken identity, but the Cary Grant character is referred to by his true name throughout the entire screenplay.

 

Whatever you do, make sure the reader is not lost.  And keep writing.

 

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FEBRUARY 2014

TIME JUMPS MONTAGE

QUESTION

My opening scene shows a small child being tended to by his mother and three other women.  This scene takes place in the past, and we soon meet all of these characters again 25 years later.  How do I describe everyone in my opening scene in comparison to how they will be described a few scenes later when they are older?  Is it a YOUNG VINCENT?  And do I describe them again later?

 

ANSWER

Yes and yes.  Call him YOUNG VINCENT, four years old, or whatever his age is.  And then when you cut to 25 years later, call him VINCENT, now 29.  And then describe him just as you would if this were the first scene in the movie.

 

TIME STANDS STILL

QUESTION

In my scene, a young newlywed couple is at a park among guests, cutting the cake.  The next scene shows the same couple 13 years later, watching the tape of their wedding at the park (the previous scene).  What would be the correct way to write this?

 

ANSWER

There are many correct ways.  Let’s look at just one.  I think the key to the transition will be to cut from one action to that same action on the video tape:

 

EXT. PARK - DAY

John and Mary are ushered to the wedding cake by guests.  Mary takes the knife and, with John’s hand on hers, cuts the cake.

INT. HOUSE - DAY

On a TV screen, Mary cuts the cake.

Together on a couch, John and Mary watch the video contentedly.

It’s 13 years later.

If you want to be clearer about the jump in time, you could omit that last sentence, double space, and write:

SUPER: "13 YEARS LATER"

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JANUARY 2014

THE FALLING IN LOVE MONTAGE

QUESTION

I'm at the point in my romantic comedy script where the two characters get together and fall in love.  I want to show the audience that two months go by in the characters' lives and in the things they do; that is, go on a picnic, go to the beach, attend parties, etc.  Usually, in actual movies, there is music during this section.  How do I write it down so that the producer/director knows what sort of sequence I am after?

 

ANSWER

You are referring to the montage.  Use the specific shots of your montage to show "passage of time" or "falling in love" (or any other concept).  Here's an example:

 

MONTAGE - JIM & SUZY FALL IN LOVE

-- At a picnic in the park, Jim and Suzy wolf down an entire chicken in record time.  Their affectionate countenances are smeared with chicken fat.

-- Jim (now with two-months worth of beard) and Suzy jog along the beach until they come upon a beached whale.  Together, they push the huge mammal back into the ocean.  The whale waves its tail in grateful thanks.  Jim and Suzy wave back.

 

And so on.   You did say this was a comedy, right? :-)

 

In terms of passage of time, I used a beard in the above example, but you will not need to be so obvious.  Normally, show passage of time by how the relationship grows or deteriorates.  A classic example is the breakfast montage in Citizen Kane.  Obviously, time is passing.  In both A Man for All Seasons and A Beautiful Mind, there is a short montage of the seasons changing.

 

Incidentally, you will not indicate music in your montage.  That's not your job.  But certainly the filmmakers will see an opportunity to insert a hit song.  Your job is to keep writing.

 

THE TELEPHONE INTERCUT

QUESTION

What is the best way to cross cut a telephone conversation that cuts back and forth between two characters?

 

ANSWER

I think you want the INTERCUT here.  Simply establish the two locations, then write out the telephone conversation, as follows:

 

INT. MARY'S KITCHEN - NIGHT

Mary paces nervously, then punches numbers on her phone.

INT. DARIN'S CAR - SAME

Darin drives through the rain, looking depressed.  His cell phone rings.

INTERCUT - TELEPHONE CONVERSATION

                   MARY
        Come back.

                   DARIN
        What?  Now?

                   MARY
        Yes.  Please.

                   DARIN
        Give me one good reason

                   MARY
        You forgot your casserole bowl.

                   DARIN
        I'll be right there

---

DECEMBER 2013

ACRONYMS, ABBREVIATIONS, AND NUMBERS

QUESTION

Would you please tell me if it is professional/acceptable to use acronyms when writing a spec script? For example, may I use MCC for Mobile Command Center?

ANSWER

Acronyms are okay. Just make sure the reader knows what they stand for. The main thing is to be absolutely clear so that the reader does not get confused. You don’t want a reader wondering what MCC stands for.

In dialogue, if you want the actor to say the individual letters of an acronym, then separate them with hyphens or periods, as follows: M.C.C. or M-C-C. Use the hyphens only if the character is spelling a word.

 

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

Can I abbreviate words; for example, hwy for highway?

 

ANSWER

In the words of William Safire, “Don’t abbrev.” Do not abbreviate regular words like highway. It comes across as sloppy writing. In dialogue speeches particularly, you must always write out the words.

 

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

What about numbers?

ANSWER

Numbers should be written out as words in dialogue speeches. In narrative description, use your best adjustment.

 

SPECIAL WORDS AND ITALICS

QUESTION

If there are words in the action or dialogue segments that are unusual, such as the name of an extra terrestrial civilization called the Barkuda, or the Latin term for African lion, panthera leo, is it okay to italicize the words to a reader, so that the reader will know that the words are special and not typos? If so, would one italicize every occurrence of the word(s), or just the first?

ANSWER

The general rule is to not bold or italicize anything in a spec screenplay. The exception is foreign words like your panther leo.

As a general rule, when you want to emphasize anything in a screenplay, such as a word of dialogue or a sentence of narrative description, underscore the word or sentence. Do this only rarely.

If you wish to emphasize an important sound, use all-CAPS. Although it is no longer necessary to place sounds in all-CAPS, you may emphasize important sounds (or all sounds) if you wish.

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NOVEMBER 2013

Last month we discussed sitcom writing.  This month, I’ll respond to two more questions regarding writing for television.

EXITS AND ENTRANCES

QUESTION

Is capitalization of entrances and exits passé?  Example: SHARON EXITS.  I want to keep things “clean and lean,” but can’t decide if the caps are a help or a burden to the reader.

 

ANSWER

Let me respond first for screenwriters, and second for TV sitcom writers.

In screenwriting, no CAPS are required for exits and entrances.  In fact, you do not need to use the terms ENTRANCE and EXIT at all.  When a scene begins, simply describe the action we see and who is involved in that action.

If someone enters the scene or exits the scene, and it’s important to point that out, then do so.  But don’t write SHARON EXITS.  Doing so tells us almost nothing about Sharon or the story.  Instead, describe how she exits to characterize her, or to reveal her feelings or attitude, or to reveal something of her character.  Here are three examples:

 

As Sharon waves goodbye, she steps backwards and trips through the doorway.

Sharon slams the door behind her.

Sharon strides triumphantly through the doorway.

 

In a situation comedy (sitcom), all narrative description is capitalized, and entrances and exits are underscored.   

 

SHARON WAVES GOODBYE AND EXITS.

SHOW ME THE MONEY

QUESTION

I heard the real money is in TV, but how can that be when some screenwriters make over a million for a screenplay.

 

ANSWER

Most established screenwriters are not making millions per script, but it’s true the money can be big for the right script.  Specs for big budget movies can earn six figures or more.  Most established TV writers not only make six figures, but they make it year after year.  And it is true that the money in TV writing is more consistent than for screenwriting.

The downside for TV writing is you will work very long hours to make that money.  I have a friend who writes for a sitcom, who said he would love to take a break from TV, but he can’t give up the big bucks.

Whatever venue you choose to write for, in order to make any bucks at all, you need to keep writing.  Good luck!

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OCTOBER 2013

SITCOM DIALOGUE

QUESTION

I want to write an episode for a situation comedy.  Is the formatting for dialogue the same as in feature length scripts?

 

ANSWER

No. Sitcom dialogue is double-spaced and is different in other ways.  Perhaps, a comparison would be helpful.  What follows is how a speech would be written in standard spec screenplay format.

 

                         GROUCHO
          The other day I shot an elephant
          in my pajamas.
                 (flicking his cigar)
          How the elephant got in my pajamas
          I don't know.

 

What follows is the same speech written for a situation comedy.   

 

                         GROUCHO

          The other day I shot an elephant

          in my pajamas.  (FLICKING HIS CIGAR.)

          How the elephant got in my pajamas

          I don't know.

As you can see, there is a big difference between the two examples.  One reason the TV sitcom style emphasizes dialogue is that a sitcom is actually a two-act stage play shot for TV.  Usually, in a TV situation comedy, the emphasis is on dialogue, not on action.  Often, there are only one or two sets for a sitcom series.

If you wish to write for a specific sitcom, you will first want to verify that scripts are being considered for that show.  You will also want to see how scripts for that show are formatted.  That’s because there are slight differences from series to series.  That’s especially true for one-camera TV shows like The Office.

Incidentally, Movie Magic Screenwriter provides many helpful TV templates.

HOUR-LONG TV SHOWS

QUESTION

Is an hour-long TV show formatted the same way as sitcoms?

 

ANSWER

No.  An hour-long TV show is formatted in standard spec script format, just like a feature length script.  The only difference is that you label the teaser, acts, and tag (or epilogue).  A pilot does not need the acts labeled.

 

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SEPTEMBER 2013

IT’S STILL THE SAME OLD STORY

QUESTION

What is the difference between SAME and CONTINUOUS?

 

ANSWER

It depends on whom you talk to.  In many cases, the terms are used synonymously. 

 

However, in most cases, the term CONTINUOUS is added to a master scene heading to indicate that it follows the previous scene without any jump in time.  Here is an example.

 

INT. CASTLE - DAY

 

Squire Hermagilde spots a group of angry peasants storming the castle.  Scared speechless, he lunges through the open doorway.

 

INT. STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS

 

He races down the stairs and through another doorway.

 

EXT. DRAWBRIDGE - CONTINUOUS

 

He pulls the drawbridge chain hand over hand, drawing the bridge up, just as the peasants arrive at the moat.

 

The term SAME is usually used in the same way.   

 

EXT. STAIRWELL - SAME

 

However, most writers use the term SAME to indicate a scene that happens at precisely the same time as the previous scene; in other words, simultaneously.  However, those occasions are rare.

 

EXT. CASTLE – DAY

 

Someone lobs a bomb over the wall.  The castle explodes.

 

INT. CASTLE – SAME

 

The bomb lands near Squire Hermagilde.  The bomb explodes, launching the squire on top of a distant canopy.  He is unhurt.

 

DAY OR NIGHT

QUESTION

I like to flow scenes together, and the suffixes DAY and NIGHT often become redundant.  For that reason I try to use headings and sub-headings to avoid repetition of DAY and NIGHT.  For instance:

 

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

 

Darrin heads out to the

 

BACKYARD

 

to find Eleanora resting in a hammock.

 

ANSWER

First of all, it’s okay to omit the terms DAY or NIGHT from a heading if it’s already obvious what the time of day is and ifthat time of day has not changed since the previous scene. 

 

In your example above, the BACKYARD is not part of the KITCHEN, so a secondary heading is impossible.  In other words, the BACKYARD is another master location that requires a  master scene heading.  However, you could end that second master scene heading with CONTINUOUS (instead of DAY), since one scene follows right on the heels of the other.  Therefore, this would be correct:

 

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

 

Darrin saunters to the door.

 

EXT. BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS

 

Derrick finds Eleanora resting in a hammock.

 

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

QUESTION

In what situation could I use secondary headings?

 

ANSWER

You can use secondary headings when you cut from one (master) location to a location that is within or part of that master location.  Let’s borrow an earlier scene, and re-format it to illustrate this point. 

 

INT. CASTLE - DAY

 

Squire Hermagilde spots a group of angry peasants storming the castle. Scared speechless, he races through the doorway and down the

 

STAIRWELL

 

through another doorway to the

 

DRAWBRIDGE

 

where he tugs at the drawbridge chain, and pulls up the bridge just as the peasants arrive at the moat. 

 

Since the STAIRWELL and the DRAWBRIDGE are both part of the master location (the CASTLE), they are secondary headings. 

 

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AUGUST 2013

SIMULTANEOUS DIALOGUE

QUESTION

When two characters say the same line at the same time, how do you format that?

ANSWER

Here's the first of four ways to present two people speaking at the same time.

                         SAM AND JO
          Huh, what?

Or you can add a parenthetical to make it absolutely clear.

                        SAM AND JO
                 (together)
         Huh, what?

Or replace the word "together" with "simultaneously." Here's a third example that you can use when the two characters say the same thing at about the same time or when they say different things at about the same time.

                         SAM
          Huh, what?

                         JO
                 (overlapping)
          Huh, what?

And finally...

          SAM                    JO
       Huh, what?              Huh, what?

LOCATING THE LOCATION

QUESTION

If, for dramatic purposes, you cut to the next scene by using a stark image—BLOODY FINGERS, for example—would you do something like this for the slug line:

INT. BLOODY FINGERS - NIGHT

Or would you just write BLOODY FINGERS, and then pull back and describe the situation?

ANSWER

First of all, BLOODY FINGERS is not a location so it would not be part of the heading (slug line). You would probably write it along these lines:

INT. BARN - NIGHT

Bloody fingers tremble. They reach for the barn door.

In the above description, I focus the reader's attention on the fingers first, and then on the action and surroundings. That implies that we open the scene with a CLOSE UP on the bloody fingers, and then the camera PULLS BACK (or PANS) so that we see the barn door (and barn interior). Thus, we present a clear, visual image to the reader without using camera directions.

ACTION SHOULD COMMENT ON CHARACTER

QUESTION

I'm presently writing a script which involves a lot of comings and goings of the characters. In so doing, I find myself often using the same exit and enter lines: Charlie enters or Charlie leaves. Would this method be too repetitious in the eyes of a script reader?

ANSWER

Yes. Be more specific and concrete than "Charlie enters" and "Charlie leaves." How does Charlie enter? How does Charlie exit? Make it a character thing by being more specific. Let every action tell the reader (and the eventual audience) something about the character and/or the story:

Charlie silently slithers in.

Charlie staggers into the bathroom and, on his third try, kicks the door shut.

THREE, FIVE, OR NINE ACTS?

QUESTION

What are your thoughts regarding nine acts versus three acts?

ANSWER

Well, a nine-act story still has three main parts. It has a beginning middle and end, just like a three-act story. Some screenwriters like to think in terms of four acts—each about equal length. They still have a beginning (which focuses on establishing story, characters, and situation), middle (mostly concerned with complications and a rising conflict, culminating in some kind of crisis), and end (the showdown and denouement). Shakespeare used five acts, and even when he was in love, there was a beginning, middle (Acts 2, 3, and 4), and end. Most TV MOWs (movies-of-the-week) have seven acts. The first act is the beginning, and the last two are usually the end.

Basic dramatic structure is about the same for everyone. Now, how you specifically apply it to the content of your story requires some creativity and skill, and how you present the content of your story so that it is dramatic and compelling also requires some creativity and skill.

AND SITUATION COMEDY?

QUESTION

...But isn't a situation comedy just two acts?

ANSWER

Yes, it has a teaser, the first act, the second act, and a tag or epilog. However, it still has a beginning, middle, and end. The way it differs from a screenplay is that the middle is divided by a Pinch that is one of the following: 1) The funniest thing in the sitcom that makes us anticipate more hilarity while the commercial plays, 2) A very serious and dramatic turning point that makes us wonder what is going to happen next while the commercial plays, or 3) A funny twist that makes us wonder what is going to happen next while the commercial plays.

May what happens next involve a six-figure contract. Good luck and keep writing.

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JULY 2013

FOREIGN LANGUAGES AND SUBTITLES

QUESTION

Suppose my character joins the foreign legion and speaks in French, do I use the dreaded wrylies to explain that he is speaking in French? Or do I write the dialogue in French? Or should I use subtitles?

ANSWER

I've had legions of questions about foreign languages, so I am using the above as representative of them all. Even though I have addressed this issue briefly in a previous column, the time has come for a full treatise. First, let me explain the question.

The writer refers to "dreaded wrylies." Wrylies are the parentheticals that sometimes appear before dialogue speeches. The term developed because so many novice writers used the term "wryly" to describe their characters' dialogue. For example:

                         SAM
                 (wryly)
          And when you lay down tonight,
          remember to fall asleep.

And so the term wryly was born. The reason they are "dreaded" is because writers are encouraged to use them sparingly. Only use a wryly when the subtext of the dialogue is not otherwise clear. You may also use them to describe small actions that can be described in two or three words, such as lighting his cigar or smiling wistfully.

Using foreign languages
In working with other languages, realize there is one general rule: write your script in the language of the eventual reader so that he/she knows what is going on. In other words, avoid writing dialogue in a foreign language.

If a character speaks in French, do not write out the dialogue in French unless the eventual reader is French, or in the extremely rare case that the meaning of the words don't matter. Simply write the lines as follows:

                        JEAN-MARC
                 (in French)
         Come with me to the Casbah.

Now the observant reader is likely to say, "But Dave, the word ‘Casbah' is a French word." Yes, however it's also an English word with French and African roots, but the observant reader brings up a good point.

Instead of having your character speak in French, consider sprinkling his/her dialogue with French words to give us the flavor of French. Then everyone knows what is being said.

Now, suppose your character absolutely, positively must speak in a foreign language. Your desire is for something realistic, such as the Italian spoken in The Godfather. You have five options, depending on your specific purpose.

1. If it doesn't matter whether the audience understands the meaning of the foreign words, or if you believe the audience will be able to figure our the meaning of the words by their context, then just write them out in the foreign language. For example:

Tarzan shouts at the charging elephant.

                        TARZAN
         On-gow-ah!

The elephant turns and stampedes in the opposite direction.

Or write the words in English using a wryly to indicate what language the words will be spoken in, as follows:

                        PIERRE-LUC
                 (in French)
         Imbecile. Idiot. Retard.

2. If the characters speak in French throughout an entire scene, then make a clear statement in the narrative description that all the dialogue in the scene will be spoken in French; then, write the dialogue out in English so that the reader can understand it.

...But this begs the question: How will the audience know what is being said? They won't unless they are French. For that reason, this is seldom a viable option. If your character must speak in French and it's also important that the audience understand what is being said, then the solution is subtitles.

Subtitles
3. If you write a complete scene where French (or other language) is spoken, and if you want English subtitles to appear on the movie screen while the character speaks in French, then include a special note in the narrative description, as follows:

NOTE: THE DIALOGUE IN THIS SCENE IS SPOKEN IN FRENCH AND IS SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH.

Then, simply write the dialogue out in English. After the scene ends, write:

END OF SUBTITLES

4. Another option for using subtitles is to use our friend, the "dreaded wryly."

                        MICHELLE
                 (in French, with)
                 subtitles)
         I spit on your name. I spit
         on your mother's grave. I
         spit on your column.

The spittle flies.

5. There is one other option for using subtitles. Use this device only if the sound of the words in the foreign language is important; for example, in the case of this space visitor's language, the words have a humorous quality.

          ALIEN              SUBTITLES
     Zoo-SEE, Woo-BEE     You're cute.

My final advice is to choose English whenever possible and give us a flavor of the foreign language by including a few foreign words and/or flavor of a foreign accent. So until my next column, I bid you adieu.

Note: To format dual-column dialogue using Movie Magic Screenwriter, simply click on "Help," search for "dual-column dialogue," and follow those instructions.

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JUNE 2013

A PROFESSIONAL LOOKING SCRIPT

QUESTION

How unprofessional can I be in formatting? Do I have to have everything exactly right?

ANSWER

If your story is wonderful, then the reader may overlook little formatting problems. Then again, the reader may never read your script if he or she is turned off by those “little formatting problems” when he or she glances through your script. Obviously, the story is the most important thing, but formatting is also important. In marketing, we call this packaging. Packaging is important in selling the product—your script.

Here’s the bottom line. If the formatting errors in your script are minimal, you will probably be okay. Keep in mind that different people in the biz have different ideas of what correct formatting is. Thus, be smart and follow the rules of spec formatting as best you can, and then don’t be unduly concerned. Relax and write.

HOW LONG IS A SCENE?

QUESTION

I’ve read in various articles and heard from a wide variety of industry professionals that a scene should take up no more than three to four pages (exceptions granted). How many times can this rule be successfully broken?

ANSWER

Any scene length is fine if it works. One of my favorite scenes from The Princess Bride is ten pages long. I usually recommend “challenging” any scene over 2-3 pages. Sometimes you need long scenes, but often you don’t. There isn’t a magic formula, since the length depends on the scene content, the story context, and what the scene needs to accomplish.

However, many scenes can be streamlined and improved if you will give them a hard look. For example, can you start the scene later in the scene without losing what is important to that scene? If so, omit some of the beginning. Are you being redundant in your scene? If so, do some condensing. Does your scene end strong, making the reader wonder what happens next? In other words, is the scene compelling? If so, then you’re probably okay.

THAT FIRST DRAFT

QUESTION

I tend to write the action for each scene as I visualize it “on screen.” Sometimes formatting seems to get in the way of this creative process. Any tricks?

ANSWER

In your first draft, write it just the way you see it in your mind, and use any format you’d like. Forget the rules. Just get something down on paper. To quote Forrester in the film Finding Forrester, “write the first draft from the heart and the second draft from the head.” Go ahead and have fun with that first draft! Then, in your second or later draft, conform what you have to proper spec form.

THE OPENING HOOK

QUESTION

When writing my script, should I focus on catching the reader’s attention quickly or on the quality of the story?

ANSWER

Both.

That does not mean that you must open with a car chase and explosion, but that you must pull the reader into the story.

RIGHT FIRST, WRITE SECOND

QUESTION

You say get the right or rights first before writing a sequel or adaptation, but my instructor says write the movie, then worry about the rights. Why different views?

ANSWER

My advice assumes you are writing to sell and that you are writing your first or second script. Consider this.

Let’s say you write a sequel to the most recent Indiana Jones flick. Who are you going to sell your sequel to? Well, you can only sell it to the person or company who own the rights. And since you have no where else to go with the script, they can say if they choose, “We’ll give you a grand for your script; take it or leave it.” Do you see that you are in a weak negotiating position? Also, keep in mind that producers of successful movies generally hire writers known to them to write sequels. It’s possible that a sequel is already being written.

In the case of an adaptation, if you are already emotionally invested in a work that you have already adapted, and the seller of the rights senses that, then (once again) you place yourself in a weak negotiating position. It follows that if you write an adaptation without the rights to the source material, then you place yourself in a weak position with producers. My desire is to see you in a strong negotiating position.

Finally, agents and producers, for the most part, seek writers who can create characters and a story from scratch, without borrowing from the work of others. So unless your adaptation or sequel is absolutely brilliant, get the rights first. Otherwise, I suggest that you write an original script so that your agent can use that sample to get you work writing sequels and adaptations. Naturally, there are notable exceptions to this guideline.

AGENT RESPONSE TIME

QUESTION

How long does it take for an agent to respond?

ANSWER

Forever. Actually, it’s closer to several months. Give the agent at least a month before doing any kind of follow-up. During that follow-up call, ask when you can expect a response, and then wait until that time period has lapsed before calling again.

Remember that calling agents is fine, but the main thing is to keep writing.

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MAY 2013

LOOK WHO’S TALKING

QUESTION

What is the proper format to use for an animal that makes animal sounds, but who also talks? For example:  A dog barks, then in a human voice says, "Hey, cut that out!"

ANSWER

Animal sounds should be written as narrative description.  That's because only words are considered to be dialogue.  Thus, you would write your example as follows.

Sparky barks, and then speaks in English.

                         SPARKY
          Hey, cut that out!

I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM

QUESTION

How does one write non-conversational vocal sounds, like screams?  Are they written as action [narrative description]?  Or are they placed under a character's name [as in the example below]?

                         LORI
                 (screams)

How about this:

                         LORI
                 Yaaarrrrrgh!

ANSWER

Screams, yelps, and such are sounds, and should be written as narrative description.  Dialogue consists of spoken or shouted words only.  The following is correct.

Lori screams.

Notice that I did not write the sound (screams) in CAPS.  You may CAP important sounds if you wish, but it is no longer necessary in spec writing.

PARENTHETICAL ACTION

QUESTION

I have been told that I cannot end a dialogue block with an action as shown below.  Is that true?

                         GERTIE
          I'm going to make you hurt.
                 (smiling with devilish
                 delight).

ANSWER

You have been told correctly.  You should not end a dialogue block with an action.  You can handle this situation in one of two ways.

                         GERTIE
                 (smiling with devilish
                 delight).
          I'm going to make you hurt.

Or--

                         GERTIE
          I'm going to make you hurt.

She smiles with devilish delight.

Or sometimes you can get away with breaking the rules.

DIALOGUE IS DIALOGUE

QUESTION

I have a scene where a character discovers a journal and reads an entry from it.  Since it's not really up to me whether the character reads the entry aloud or if the actual entry is displayed on screen, how should I format this in the script?

ANSWER

Before I answer the question, let me make two points.  First, don't be ambiguous in a screenplay. Write what we see and hear.  Either the character reads the journal out loud or the audience reads it silently—you decide in the screenplay.  Yes, the director may change what you wrote later, but at least give him or her a vision of what you see.

Second, only dialogue is dialogue.  You can only write in dialogue words that are spoken, shouted, or whispered.

Now, in answer to your question, I see two ways to approach this formatting problem.

If the journal entry is very short, you might consider allowing the audience to read it.  Use the INSERT for that.

INSERT - NATASHA'S JOURNAL, which reads:

          "I love Boris, but I plan to leave
          him for Fearless Leader."

(By the way, here is how you indent using Movie Magic Screenwriter:  Select the "Action" element. Then click on "Format" on the top toolbar and then "Cheat" and "Element" (F3). Select the margins you want (2.5 on the left and 2.5 on the right.)

If the journal entry is longer, then perhaps your character can read it to the audience.

Boris tiptoes into Natasha's room, spots her journal, and turns to the last page.  His eyes soften.

                         NATASHA (V.O.)
          I love Boris, but I plan to leave
          him for Fearless Leader.  Why?
          His silly mustache tickles me.

As you can see, all of this month's questions have to do with writing dialogue and writing action that is connected with dialogue.  I hope your dialogue brings you a lot of action.

 

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APRIL 2013

SUBLIMINAL SCRIPTWRITING

QUESTION

There is a sequence in my screenplay where there are flashes of images, like TOM IN A CHAIR, TOM IN MOTEL ROOM, TOM DEAD IN THE ALLEY—quick flashes in an almost subliminal fashion.  How would I format this?

ANSWER

The "flashes" are either subliminal or they are not.  Just write what we see.  There are many ways to handle this.  Consider using the SERIES OF SHOTS if the flashes tell a little story; in other words, if they outline a narrative.  Use the MONTAGE if these flashes revolve around a concept, such as passage of time.

SERIES OF SHOTS - TOM'S DEATH

A) Tom sits in a chair -- silent.

B) Tom paces in a motel room, then glances towards the door.

C) Tom lies dead in an alley.

If these must be quick flashes to get the right effect, then use the following:

SERIES OF QUICK FLASHES

-- Tom sits in a chair.

-- Tom paces in a motel room.

-- Tom lies dead in an alley.

If these are quick flashbacks, then label them as such:

SERIES OF QUICK FLASHBACKS

SCHOOL DAYS

QUESTION

Within my script, the main character walks to and from school several times.  I've established him leaving his house (EXT. JOSH'S HOUSE) and arriving at school (EXT. LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL).  What about the journey between the two locations?  Generally, nothing happens along the way (no actions or dialogue).  How do I write this?  Do I refer to it as "EXT. ROUTE TO SCHOOL"?  Or do I mention it at all?

ANSWER

If you have read my column with any regularity, you know that the answer to half the questions I receive is "Write what we see."  And that's the case here.  Apparently, we don't see the route between home and school, so write something like this.

EXT. JOSH'S HOUSE - DAY

Josh exits the house throwing on his backpack jammed with books. He rushes through the front yard to the road.

EXT. LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL - LATER

Josh arrives on the school grounds.

NOISES OFF

QUESTION

I noticed in a produced spec script that the writer only capitalized sounds that really exploded with description.  For example: Tires CRACKLED across the broken glass.  In other cases, the writer did not capitalize sounds at all.  Is this something new?  Or is it all discretionary?

ANSWER

Yes and yes.  The current trend is towards not capitalizing sounds.  However, most writers still capitalize very important sounds, and sometimes all sounds.  It's at your discretion, but there is no longer any requirement to capitalize sounds in a spec script.

I hasten to add that every agent and producer has his or her own preferences, but the above is generally true.

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MARCH 2013

GETTING ANIMATED

QUESTION

I am working on a script for a film that would contain several short animated segments.  How should these be worked into the script?  Is there a standard format for this?

ANSWER

Handle it just the way you'd handle a DREAM or FLASHBACK or MONTAGE that you need to work into the script.  Here's one possible way:

ANIMATION -- SILLY BILLY MEETS THE MONKEY MAN

And then describe your scene or sequence of shots, just as you would with a MONTAGE or DREAM SEQUENCE.

We often forget that there are basic principles behind formatting.  These aren't just a bunch of arbitrary rules.  So don't be afraid to extrapolate from some known principle if you come up with a new screenwriting situation.  What if the above were a dream sequence?  Handle it like this..

DREAM -- SILLY BILLY MEETS THE MONKEY MAN

or

EXT. AMAZON JUNGLE - DREAM

Silly Billy and his friends hike the jungle trail.  Suddenly, the Monkey Man drops out of a tree

...And so on.

What if you have an animated dream?  Just call it that, an ANIMATED DREAM.

If you have a particularly long FLASHBACK, DREAM, MONTAGE, SERIES OF SHOTS, or ANIMATED SEQUENCE, handle it like this:

DREAM SEQUENCE

And then write out all of the scenes in the sequence, just as you would normally write scenes, and then end the sequence with this:

END OF DREAM SEQUENCE

Or, you could label each scene with an appropriate suffix.

EXT. JUNGLE - DAY - DREAM SEQUENCE

EXT. MOUNTAIN TRAIL - CONTINUOUS - DREAM SEQUENCE

Just apply fundamental formatting principles.  As screenwriters, we must understand formatting to fully understand spec writing.  This is something I really get animated about.

THIS IS MY CHARACTER

QUESTION

How detailed should I be with the appearance of a new character?  Do I describe only those with speaking parts?  Do I describe past circumstances, such as "Josh's father left when Josh was just a baby," or "Kelly's sister Sharon is far more outgoing and, as a newspaper editor, loves to dig for the dirt."

ANSWER

First, let's set up the ground rules.

Rule #1:  You can only describe what we (the audience; the reader) actually see and actually hear in narrative description.  Occasionally, you can cheat a little in character descriptions, but don't go so far as to tell us someone's history as a character introduction.  Don't write something like this:

Jenny used to be a cocktail waitress and had an affair with Jane's husband just a year ago, although Jane doesn't know it yet.

You cannot do that, but you can say that Mark is Jenny's wife or that Jane is Jenny's sister--you can probably get away with that..

Rule #2:  With character descriptions, focus on character and make the description visual in some way.  My favorite example is this:  She wears clothes that are too young for her, but gets away with it.  Do you see that the description is visual, but that it also says something about her character?  That's what you want to strive for.

Okay, now let's answer your questions above.

Let me answer the second question first.  Characters without speaking parts do not necessarily need an introduction.  However, you want every character to be clearly visualized by the reader.  For minor characters, you can do that with just a few words that makes the reader see them.  For example, "He's proud of his pony tail" (it's visual and says something about his character) or "wearing a Metallica tee-shirt" (it's visual and says something about his character).

For characters with speaking parts, it is even more important to give them some handle that the reader can grab them with.  Here's a description of a character from SCREAM:

BILLY LOOMIS, a strapping boy of seventeen.  A star quarterback/class president type of guy.  He sports a smile that could last for days.

Now, the writer doesn't say that Billy is class president or star quarterback, just that he is that type of guy.  The description is visual and says something about his character..

Also, note that there is no driver's license description of Billy Loomis.  The writer doesn't mention height, weight, eye color, or hair color.  Why?  Because it's not important to the story.  Only mention those physical details when it is crucial to the story.  For example, in the movie LEGALLY BLONDE, the central character has to be blonde.

Here’s one last example form THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION:

WARDEN SAMUEL NORTON strolls forth, a colorless man in a gray suit and a church pin in his lapel.  He looks like he could piss ice water.

Sometimes a single adjective can do the job.

THE LITTLEST ORPHAN

QUESTION

I have been taught to never leave a slug line [heading] or character cue as an "orphan"; that is, never leave any of these as the last item on the bottom of the page.  Does this also apply to "direction" [parentheticals; actor's instructions]?

ANSWER

You are correct all the way around.  Do not end a page on a slug line, character cue, or parenthetical.  Just move those to the top of the next page.

---

FEBRUARY 2013

THE SLUG FAMILY, PART 2

NOTE: This continues our discussion from last month about scene headings (slug lines).

QUESTION

Where am I?

ANSWER

As a script consultant, I sometimes find myself saying while reading a script, "Where am I?"  For example, here's one of my favorites.

INT. A HECTIC BREAKFAST – DAY

"A hectic breakfast" is not a location.  Where am I?  Here's another goof..

EXT. OCEAN – DAY

Marion runs through the waves.

LIBRARY

Marion reads a book.

How can a library be part of the ocean?  Is it a floating library?  And how did we get from an exterior camera placement to an interior camera placement?  Did I miss something? 

Do you see the potential confusion?  It's not good for you to have a reader stop and try to figure something like this out.  You want the story to flow smoothly through the reader's mind. 

Master scenes and secondary scenes revisited

Let's go to another example. As you know, you begin a scene with a master scene heading, which names the master (or primary) location; for example, EXT. SMITH HOUSE - DAY.  Other locations (such as BEDROOM or HALLWAY) that are part of the master location are called secondary locations; the resulting heading is called a secondary scene heading. 

In addition, it's okay to add a secondary location to a master (primary) location in a master scene heading.  I'll illustrate all of these points below. 

First, we'll begin with the master scene heading that includes a secondary location and then move to other secondary locations.

INT. SMITH HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

John slams the front door and races down the

HALLWAY

and into his

BEDROOM

where he dives on top of his bed and sobs.

The above is correct, but it could have just as easily been written like this, which is also correct:

INT. SMITH HOUSE – DAY

LIVING ROOM

John slams the front door and races out.

HALLWAY

He runs past pictures of his family.

IN THE BEDROOM

He stumbles in and falls on his bed sobbing.

As you can see, any number of secondary headings can follow as long as the locations are part of the master (primary) location.  Once we change the camera placement to an exterior location or to a location that is not part of the master location, we must create a new master scene heading.  

What if you want to show John sobbing on the same bed hours later?  Well, you could write:

INT. SMITH HOUSE - BEDROOM – HOURS LATER

That would be technically correct, or you could use the following secondary heading:

HOURS LATER

John continues to sob.

You do not need a new master scene heading for a change in time, but you will for a change in camera location from interior to exterior or vice versa.

Description in scene headings

If I may, I'll mention one other common formatting fumble—including description in the scene heading.  To wit:

EXT. A WINDY NIGHT WITH A PALE MOON SHINING THROUGH TREES IN THE WOODS

That should actually be written as follows:

EXT. WOODS – NIGHT

A pale moon shines through trees buffeted by a stiff wind.

Save the description for the description (action) sections of your script.  And save the reader a lot of pain and make him or her a happy reader.  A happy reader can make you a happy writer.

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JANUARY 2013

THE SLUG FAMILY, PART 1

QUESTION

Why do some writers use the term slug and others heading?

ANSWER

You’ve often heard the terms slug, slug line, and mini-slug in reference to screenwriting. Understanding these terms is paramount, so let’s explore the slug family.

Most common formatting error

I have no quarrel with the sluggish terms used every day by screenwriters and other industry pros, including top writers. They’re perfectly okay. My main interest is in assisting you, the developing screenwriter, to understand the elements those terms reference and how those elements are used, which is why I prefer the term scene heading over slug.

The most common formatting errors I see in developing writers’ screenplays are with confusing and improper scene headings. That implies a possible lack of understanding of what they actually are and how they should be used.

Sometimes calling something by its given name rather than its nickname helps us understand its use. I’m sure that is one reason you will find the term scene heading rather than slug line used in the software applications Movie Magic Screenwriter and Final Draft. Incidentally, the term slug line originated in journalism, while the term scene heading is purely a screenwriting term. Let’s discuss why.

Scene headings

A heading of any kind identifies the content of what follows, just like the heading you see above this paragraph.

A scene heading, thus, identifies something about the content of a scene: primarily, the camera placement (interior or exterior), the location, and the time (usually DAY or NIGHT).

For those who are wondering, action stacking is...well..."stacking" short sentences that describe action without double spacing between those sentences.  Here's an example.

INT. HOTEL – DAY

For those who are wondering, action stacking is...well..."stacking" short sentences that describe action without double spacing between those sentences.  Here's an example.

Bart spins around.

The above is called a master scene heading because it identifies the master or primary location of the scene. Any location within the interior of the hotel would be a secondary location. Thus, you can use a secondary scene heading to identify that secondary location. For example, here is a secondary scene heading:

LOBBY

We’re still in the master (or primary) scene, but at a specific location (the lobby) within the broader master (or primary) location (the hotel). You could call it a secondary scene or a mini-scene if you wish. Some screenwriters refer to a secondary scene heading as a mini-slug.

This understanding of the difference between master and secondary scenes really comes in handy when you want to describe an action sequence such as a car chase. Just identify a broad master location in your master scene heading; for example, the streets of San Francisco. That’s a big location. Thus, we have this master scene heading:

EXT. STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO – DAY

The above is called a master scene heading because it identifies the master or primary location of the scene. Any location within the interior of the hotel would be a secondary location. Thus, you can use a secondary scene heading to identify that secondary location. For example, here is a secondary scene heading:

LOBBY

Now you can use secondary scene headings such as McQUEEN’S CAR, BLACK VETTE, A SIDEWALK BIZARRE, AN INTERSECTION, and so on. These secondary locations are all part of the master (or primary) location, the streets of San Francisco. If the chase continues beyond the streets of San Francisco, you will need to type a new master scene heading for the new location. 

You can do something similar for an air battle; for example: EXT. SKY ABOVE IRAQ – DAY. Having established the master scene, anything in the sky above Iraq (including different fighter jets) is a secondary location.. 

NOTE: This is the end of Part 1. Next month, we’ll continue our discussion of the slug family. 

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DECEMBER 2012

ACTION STACKING

QUESTION

Can I "action stack" for selected scenes and use a [traditional] narrative style for others, or do I have to be consistent throughout my screenplay?

ANSWER

You can combine styles, but don't use one style (action stacking, for example) just once in a screenplay.  There should be a pattern in your chosen writing style.

For those who are wondering, action stacking is...well..."stacking" short sentences that describe action without double spacing between those sentences.  Here's an example.

Bart spins around.
A truck speeds towards him.
Bart dives for the gutter.
Looks up a pair of legs.
The leggy woman looks down.
She has a gun.

Personally, I'm not a big fan of action stacking and I don't see it a lot, but it's perfectly legal to use. 

A SUPER QUOTE

QUESTION

How does one present a quote or an introductory piece of text at the very beginning of the film?  A SUPER does not seem quite right, since the text is over a black screen.

ANSWER

Just SUPER (superimpose) the quote, text, prologue, or roll-up over the black screen.  And after typing

SUPER THE QUOTE:

double space, and indent ten spaces for the quote—just as you would for dialogue.

If you want the quote or prologue to scroll up, then write:

SCROLL:

POTTY TALK

QUESTION

Are profanity and the f-word allowable in spec script dialogue, or is that something for the actors to add?

ANSWER

You want a little less profanity and vulgarity in the screenplay than you would find in the eventual movie.  I have heard this advice from many agents and producers. 

Of course, virtually everything is "allowable" in a screenplay, including profanity.  It all depends on the market you are writing for, so my advice is to look carefully at the market you are writing for.

In addition, make sure your characters don’t all talk alike, and that you, as a writer, are not exaggerating the emotions of your characters.

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NOVEMBER 2012

SPACING OUT

QUESTION

Regarding triple spacing prior to new master scenes, if I have a continuous sequence that involves different locations, should I still triple space before those new scenes that are in that sequence?

ANSWER

Just double space before scenes that are part of a master scene.  Before we go any further, let’s define terms.

A master scene takes place at a master location.  For example, perhaps you open a scene with INT. SMITH HOUSE - DAY.  That’s the master (or primary) location.  If you then cut to a BEDROOM of that house, and then to the DEN, and then to the WINE CELLAR, those secondary locations are all part of the master (or primary) location (the interior of the house).  Thus, you are still within the same master scene.  Let me give you an example

INT. DAMON’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Damon strides into his

BEDROOM

and dons a sweater.  He hustles into  

THE DEN

and finds a wine glass but nothing to pour.  He steps out.

IN THE WINE CELLAR

He grabs the bottle he wants and smiles at it.

LIVING ROOM, BEDROOM, DEN, and IN THE WINE CELLAR are all secondary scene headings because they name secondary locations that are all part of the master (primary) location. The master scene heading is INT. DAMON’S HOUSE – DAY.

As you know, you should normally double space between scenes.  But, as an option, you can triple space before master scene headings, but not before secondary scene headings. 

One thing I like and appreciate about Movie Magic Screenwriter is their software is already set up to double-space before and after scene headings of every kind.  It’s clean and simple, just as a spec script should be. 

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION

If I am triple-spacing before master scene headings and cut to a new master scene heading to set up a telephone intercut, should I triple space before that second scene heading?

ANSWER

Technically in this situation, you would triple space before the new master scene heading, but I recommend that you just double space to maintain a sense of continuity.  In fact, I recommend you double-space before all scene headings; that way, you don’t have to worry about issues like those we have discussed. All you have to do is write. Here’s an example:

INT. SUZY’S ROOM – DAY

Suzy pokes her cell.

EXT. PARK – SAME

Joe’s cell sings a joyful tune.  He pulls it out of his pocket.

INTERCUT PHONE CONVERSATION – SUZY’S ROOM/PARK

ANOTHER MASTER QUESTION

QUESTION

My short scene takes place in a bookstore.  In the scene, a character goes into the restroom, so I used a secondary heading: IN THE BATHROOM.  If I want to take the reader back into the bookstore, should I use another secondary heading or a master scene heading?

ANSWER

Use a secondary scene heading, as follows:

INT. BOOKSTORE - DAY

sets up the master scene.

IN THE BATHROOM

is the secondary heading, and then

BACK IN THE BOOKSTORE

is an acceptable secondary scene heading to get us back into the main bookstore area.

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OCTOBER 2012

FIRST PERSON/THIRD PERSON

QUESTION

In the screenplay I am working on, I have a sequence where the camera is the character's eye.  During this sequence, the story is told in first person.  I would be interesting in knowing how to insert this sequence into a screenplay written in third person without [using] technical intrusions.

ANSWER

A memory hit? I don't think that term has hit the mainstream formatting lexicon yet.

When you say the "story is told in first person," I assume you mean that the character (whose eye is the camera) talks to or describes what he/she is sees.  Thus, that character's viewpoint dominates in that scene.  However, the narrative description would still be written in third person.  Narrative description is always written in third person, present tense language.  (First person would involve the use of the pronouns "I" or "me."  Second person would use "you."  And third person would use "he," "she," "they," and so on.)  The fact that the eye is the camera changes nothing in terms of how you write description and dialogue.

That leaves the issue of communicating to the reader that the "camera is the character's eye."  I assume that you mean that the camera takes the point-of-view of the character--what he/she sees, we see.  You are right to want to write this without the camera directions, if possible.  In cases like this, we are all tempted to write something like the following:

If your character (let’s call him Zep) speaks while we see the flashback, then use the voice over (V.O.) extension.

POV JANE -- A man walks towards her.

You can (and should) write the same thing without the camera direction, as follows:

Jane sees a man walking towards her.

S-S-STUTTERING AND D-D-DIALECTING

QUESTION

I am writing a screenplay where the main character stutters almost all the time.  How should I indicate that in the dialogue?  I find it annoying to indicate it in parenthesis before every line of dialogue, so I came up with something like the following:

               ZEP (V.O.)
        W-what?  I-I d-don't understand.

Do you have any suggestions?

ANSWER

Just show a flavor of stuttering; that is, occasional stuttering to remind us that this character stutters.  Don't overdo it or, as you rightly said, the reader will be annoyed.  Also, when you first introduce the character, indicate that he/she stutters. The same holds true for accents and dialects--just give us a flavor.  Don't adjust the spelling of every word to show precisely how each and every word would be pronounced in a certain dialect or with a certain accent.  It will be too difficult to read. .

In THE KING’S SPEECH, the following paragraph appears in narrative description:

(For ease of reading, Bertie’s stammer will not be indicated from this point in the script.)

HOW LONG IS TOO LONG?

QUESTION

How long should a [spec] screenplay be?

ANSWER

About 100-110 pages, but certainly not more than 120 pages.  Ideally, a comedy will come in at about 100 pages and a drama or action story at 105-110.  The minimum is 90.

You may wonder why the 120-page limit when you've seen produced screenplays that are much longer than that.  In virtually every case, those long screenplays were both shooting scrits and were developed within the system; they were not spec screenplays.

That leaves the issue of communicating to the reader that the "camera is the character's eye."  I assume that you mean that the camera takes the point-of-view of the character--what he/she sees, we see.  You are right to want to write this without the camera directions, if possible.  In cases like this, we are all tempted to write something like the following:

The central theme that runs through this issue's column is to make your spec screenplay an "easy but fascinating read."

- - - - - -

DAVE TROTTIER has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business.  He is an award-winning teacher and script consultant, author of The Screenwriter's Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com

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SEPTEMBER 2012

NOTE: This is the fourth column focused solely on flashbacks and the last in the series.

FLASHBACKS AND VOICE OVERS

QUESTION

How do you handle a quick memory hit? Let's say a man is telling a story to a friend about a friend getting killed by a train 30 years ago. Do I just write the image of a train killing David? [Apparently, David is the questioner's character who is killed; either that, or it's a secret message to me.] Do I need any caption such as a memory hit or quick flash?

ANSWER

A memory hit? I don't think that term has hit the mainstream formatting lexicon yet.

The standard response to questions of this type is this: Write what we see. What does the audience see? If you actually show the train, then that is a flashback and you will want to indicate a flashback. You must label it as such so that we clearly understand that it is a flashback.

If your character (let’s call him Zep) speaks while we see the flashback, then use the voice over (V.O.) extension.

FLASHBACK - TRAIN TRACKS

David sees a train coming. In a surreal game of chicken, he places himself on the tracks.

               ZEP (V.O.)
        David always flirted with
        disaster...

With the train nearly upon him, David tries to leap from the tracks, but his shirt catches on a rail tie.

He glances up at the unforgiving mass of steel.

               ZEP (V.O.)
        ... Then one day, disaster
        responded.

The wheels of the train slice through his body.

BACK TO SCENE

We can learn three lessons from the above example.

1. Notice that I avoided repeating in dialogue what we already see visually. Whenever you use a voice over in situations like this one, let that voice over dialogue add something that the visual does not already tell us. Don't just describe in your dialogue the action that you describe in your narrative.
2. Do not write something as general as "The train ran over him." Present us with concrete, visual images that we can respond to emotionally or intellectually.
3. Start a new paragraph when you switch to a new visual image. Generally, a paragraph of narrative description should present one visual image or one beat of action.

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DAVE TROTTIER has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business.  He is an award-winning teacher and script consultant, author of The Screenwriter’s Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com.

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AUGUST 2012

NOTE: This is the third in a series focused solely on flashbacks.

QUICK FLASHES—SITUATION #1

QUESTION

How do you handle a series of very quick flashbacks?

ANSWER

Use the same format that you would use for montage. Here's an example:

QUICK FLASHES – DUKE’S BASEBALL MEMORIES

-- Duke slides home safe. Jubilant teammates scramble to congratulate him.

-- Duke, playing shortstop, snags a hot grounder, and tosses the man out at first.

-- Duke swings at a fast ball and watches it sail over the left-field fence.

BACK TO SCENE

If you have just one quick flashback, use the following format:

QUICK FLASHBACK

Duke strikes out.

BACK TO SCENE

QUICK FLASHES—SITUATION #2

QUESTION

I have a series of quick flashbacks at the end of a short script that reference a character's memories of three different people. Do I create three flashback headings, one for each flashback?

ANSWER

You could, but I recommend you use my answer to Situation #1 above as your guide and create a series of QUICK FLASHES:

THE STORYTELLER DEVICE

QUESTION

My script is pretty much told in flashback, so would I format that as FLASHBACK, write the rest of the story until I reach the point where we come out of the flashback, and then write END OF FLASHBACK or BACK TO PRESENT DAY?

ANSWER

It appears that you are using the "storyteller device." In other words, most of your movie is one long flashback, as is the case with Saving Private Ryan. Therefore, instead of a flashback, use a SUPER (short for superimpose) that identifies the year that we flash back to.

Here's an example that assumes your character is a 71-year-old man at the beginning of the movie:

John's eyes get misty. He looks off into the distance.

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - DAY

An 18-year-old JOHN stands at a busy intersection.

SUPER: "San Francisco, 1950."

At the end of the movie, you will return to PRESENT DAY.

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DAVE TROTTIER has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business.  He is an award-winning teacher and script consultant, author of The Screenwriter’s Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com.

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JULY 2012

A SERIES OF FLASHBACKS

NOTE: Last month we discussed flashbacks at length.  Since then, more questions on flashbacks have arisen, so I’ve decided to continue this “flashback” discussion this month and into next month.

QUESTION

I have a situation where my character recalls different scenes from the past, some of which contain dialogue, as he puts the pieces of the puzzle together.  How should I format that?

ANSWER

In most formatting situations, there is more than one possible formatting solution that is “correct.”  In this case, you could use a SERIES OF SHOTS, SERIES OF FLASHBACKS, or a MONTAGE.  With any of the above three devices, it’s perfectly okay to include dialogue.

I suggest a FLASHBACK MONTAGE where you identify the location of each FLASHBACK to help the reader recall it along with the character.  We could call these QUICK MEMORY FLASHES if your desire is for a quick succession of images.  For example:

MONTAGE – JIM’S QUICK MEMORY FLASHES

However, in this particular case, it appears that you want to insert entire scenes in succession.  I suspect you will be best off showing as little of those past scenes as possible—just the key moment of each to remind the reader.  This was done to great effect at the end of The Sixth Sense. 

In the example below, I made up the content just to illustrate one possible formatting solution to your problem.  

FLASHBACK MONTAGE - JIM REMEMBERS

-- SUZY’S BEDROOM -- Jim spots a bottle of theater blood on Suzy’s dresser.  Suzy laughs about it.

               SUZY
        Oh, my niece’s play. 

-- RESTAURANT -- Suzy’s smile fades momentarily.

               SUZY
        Nature calls.

She leaves the table with her purse.  Jim watches her follow a platinum blonde into the ladies room.

-- BEACH -- Jim notices the platinum blonde watching him from the pier above him.  She turns her head.  Jim shrugs his shoulders.

...And so on.  If desired, you could replace the CAPPED locations above with complete master scene headings; for example: INT. SUZY’S BEDROOM – DAY.  That would be perfectly fine.  You could also use a non-capped version; for example: In Suzy’s bedroom, Jim spots a bottle….

Finally, you could use a different expression to identify the nature of the FLASHBACK MONTAGE, depending on your dramatic purpose.  For example: FLASHBACK MONTAGE – JIM PUTS THINGS TOGETHER. 

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JUNE 2012

FLASHBACKS

QUESTION

Are there any special format rules for writing a flashback?

ANSWER
Since the FLASHBACK is often abused by developing writers, make sure that your use of it pays off dramatically. In terms of formatting, there are numerous correct methods. The overriding principle is to be clear.

Method 1
In the example below, we label the flashback like we would a montage.

FLASHBACK – TRAIN ACCIDENT

Barry sees the train speeding toward him and leaps from the tracks, but his foot catches on a rail tie.

BACK TO PRESENT DAY

The above method is designed for short flashbacks that happen within a scene. For longer flashbacks, consider one of the following methods.

Method 2

FLASHBACK – EXT. TRAIN TRACKS – DAY

Method 3

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - DAY - FLASHBACK

Or

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - DAY (FLASHBACK)

If you use either of the above notations, then the next scene heading would follow the same pattern and look like this.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY – BACK TO PRESENT DAY

Or

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY (BACK TO PRESENT DAY)

You can also use either of the above BACK TO PRESENT DAY notations for Method 2 as well.

If you wish, you may shorten the extension, as follows:

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY - PRESENT DAY

Or

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY (PRESENT DAY)

Alternate flashback endings for Methods 2 and 3
At the end of a flashback, you can use one of the following alternative methods to end the flashback.

END OF FLASHBACK

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

It would also be correct to place the phrase END OF FLASHBACK flush to the right margin followed by a period, as follows:

END OF FLASHBACK.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

Flashbacks longer than one scene
If a flashback is more than one scene in length, you will use Method 2 or 3 for your first flashback scene heading. Subsequent scene headings will be written as normal scene headings without the word FLASHBACK. The reader will assume that each scene that follows that first flashback scene is part of the flashback until he sees END OF FLASHBACK or BACK TO PRESENT DAY in some form. Here's an example.

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS – DAY – FLASHBACK

Barry sees the train speeding toward him and leaps from the tracks, but his foot catches on a rail tie.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

Barry lies on a gurney. A doctor pulls a sheet over his head.

INT. OFFICE – DAY – BACK TO PRESENT DAY

Or:

INT. OFFICE – DAY – PRESENT DAY

If you wish, it's perfectly correct to label each scene heading in a flashback sequence. For example:

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS – DAY – FLASHBACK

Barry sees the train speeding toward him and leaps from the tracks, but his foot catches on a rail tie.

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY – FLASHBACK CONT'D

Barry lies on a gurney. A doctor pulls a sheet over his head.

INT. OFFICE – DAY – PRESENT DAY

Method 4
An alternative method is to label the entire flashback comprised of more than one scene as a flashback sequence.

BEGIN FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - DAY

And then write out all the scenes in sequence, just as you would normally write scenes, and then end the sequence with this:

END OF FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

INT. OFFICE – DAY

DAVE TROTTIER has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business. He is an award-winning teacher and script consultant, author of The Screenwriter's Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com.

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MAY 2012

HOW DO I INDENT TEXT MESSAGES

QUESTION

How do I indent text messages using Movie Magic Screenwriter?

ANSWER
There are several ways to format the content of text messages and emails.  One is to simply include the text message as part of the narrative description, as follows:

Deb looks at her smart phone screen, which reads: "U ready?"

If you want the text message to pop out, indent the content like dialogue, only without the character name.  For example:

Deb looks at her smart phone screen.  It says:

        "U ready?"

Although I prefer the previous method, an INSERT would also work:

INSERT – DEB'S SMART PHONE, which reads:

"U ready?"

BACK TO SCENE

Let's assume (as your question suggests) that you have chosen to indent a text message, or the content of an email on a computer screen, or the lengthy content of a SUPER (superimposition).  How do you do it?

Using Movie Magic Screenwriter, select the "Action" element. Then click on "Format" on the top toolbar and then "Cheat" and "Element" (F3). Select the margins you want (2.5 on the left and 2.5 on the right).

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION
Dave, since you mention SUPERs, is there more than one way to format them?

ANSWER
Yes.  If the SUPER is brief, the following method is usually preferred.

SUPER: "Washington, DC – 2020"

If the SUPER is quite long, the following method is generally used.

SUPER:

        "Long ago in a galaxy far, far
        away, there lived a strange
        old diminutive man who mixed
        up his words when he talked.
        Yet, wise was he."

Now a very long SUPER such as what we find at the beginning of the Star Wars episodes would be called a SCROLL.  Format it exactly like the SUPER; just substitute the word SCROLL.  Avoid the terms TITLES and TITLE CARD. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

SLO-MO

QUESTION
I'd love your advice on scenes designed for slow-motion.  Should this just be left out, or should there be some specific format for slow-motion shots?

ANSWER
As a general guideline, stay away from technical effects like slow motion.  On the other hand, if you have a good dramatic or comedic reason for the effect, go ahead and include it.  With slow motion, just write:

SLOW MOTION

Write out the action as you normally would, and then write:

END SLOW MOTION

Or:

END SLOW MOTION.

DAVE TROTTIER has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business.  He is an award-winning teacher and script consultant, author of The Screenwriter's Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com.

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APRIL 2012

ACTION AND PARENTHETICALS

QUESTION

Is the following example a correct use of parentheticals?

                   JACK
              (grabs Jill by the
               hand)
        Could sure use some water,
        my dear.
              a beat; starts up
              the hill)

                   JILL
              (snatches the bucket
               out of his hand)
        Sounds like a good idea, Jack. 
              (swings bucket around
               and around as they near 
               the well)

ANSWER

No.  Action should be written as action, unless that action can be described in just a few words (for example, “snatching the bucket”).  Also, do not end a dialogue block with a parenthetical; end it with dialogue.  Finally, the dialogue in the example above is stiff; let’s make it more natural.  At the same time, we’ll try to give the scene a little more movement.  Here is my revision.

Jack shows Jill his empty bucket.   

                   JACK
        Water?

Jill snatches the bucket.

                   JILL
        Race ya.

She swings the bucket around as they gallop to the well.

#   #   #   #  #   #   #   #  #   #   #   #  #   #   #   #

LOCATING THE LOCATION

QUESTION

What is the correct format for a montage that has a series of scenes at different locations, but no dialogue? 

ANSWER

There are many correct ways to format a MONTAGE or SERIES OF SHOTS.  It all depends on your purpose. 

Generally, a MONTAGE is used to describe a series of images that convey a concept, such as passage of time or falling in love.  The SERIES OF SHOTS is for a straight narrative, a chronology of events.  Naturally, the two are often used interchangeably. 

What follows is standard format for the MONTAGE.

MONTAGE - JOHN WAITS FOR MARY

-- John glances at the waiting room clock. It reads “10:00.” 

-- He stares at a door, glances back at the clock –- “10:30.”

-- He paces the room nervously –- “11:00.”  The door opens and Mary exits the bathroom. 

In your question, you describe a series of locations.  So let’s format a MONTAGE that emphasizes location.

MONTAGE - JOHN FALLS FOR MARY

-- AT A RESTAURANT -- John and Mary exchange caring glances.

-- AT THE BEACH -- John and Mary frolic in the sun.

-- ON MARY’S BALCONY -- John kisses Mary, then falls back over the railing, flailing his arms.

Of course, you don’t necessarily have to CAP your locations.  For example, you could write:

-- At a restaurant, John and Mary exchange caring glances. 

And so on.  Whatever format you decide to use, be consistent.

Let’s look at standard format for a SERIES OF SHOTS.

SERIES OF SHOTS -- John gets even.

A) John lifts a gun from his desk drawer.

B) John strides down a sidewalk. 

C) Mary answers the door.  John pulls the trigger.  A stream of water hits Mary in the face. 

As you can see, there is very little difference between the MONTAGE and SERIES OF SHOTS.  In both cases, you start with an informative heading, and then list shots in a way that best suits your purpose.  The main thing is to follow the basic form and strive for clarity so that the reader can follow. 

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DAVE TROTTIER has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business.  He is an award-winning teacher and script consultant, author of The Screenwriter’s Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com.