Ask Dr. Format: Overheard Conversations and Action Breaks
DAVE TROTTIER has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business. He is an award-winning teacher and script consultant, author of The Screenwriter’s Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com. Read more tips on the Ask Dr. Format page.
OVERHEARD CONVERSATIONS
QUESTION
What should I do in the situation where there are two sets of people talking, and I want the audience to overhear one set while the main focus is on the other?
ANSWER
I think you want something like this:
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Jojo and Jane sit down at a table. A waiter hands them menus.
In a booth behind them, across the aisle, Fatty and Slim plan. Jojo and Jane cannot hear them.
SLIM
Wait 'til they leave.
Slim angrily eyes Jojo and Jane, who study their menus.
FATTY (O.S.)
I'll follow them out to their car
SLIM (O.S.)
They'll get what they deserve for not
formatting their script correctly.
Jojo lifts a feature script from his briefcase and places it on the table.
FATTY (O.S.)
(incredulously)
Don't they read Dr. Format's column?
In the above scene, the focus is on Jojo and Jane. As you can see, most of the dialogue between Fatty and Slim is spoken off screen (O.S.). That way, the audience’s eyes are mainly on Jojo and Jane.
A different approach would be to show Jojo and Jane overhearing the conversation between Fatty and Slim.
ACTION BREAKS
QUESTION
When should I break to another paragraph when describing the action in a screenplay?
ANSWER
A very general rule-of-thumb is one paragraph per image or beat of action. The following segment presents four beats; thus, four paragraphs:
Fatty opens his trench coat to reveal a chain saw.
At the sound of the chain saw starting, Jojo and Jane back up against their car. Jojo shields them with their screenplay.
Fatty saws the screenplay in half, turns off the chain saw, and saunters away.
Jojo and Jane stare dumbfounded at their shredded screenplay.
Keep writing…in correct format!