Ask Dr. Format: Look Who's Talking
DAVE TROTTIER has sold or optioned ten screenplays (three produced) and helped hundreds of writers break into the writing business. He is an award-winning teacher and script consultant, author of The Screenwriter’s Bible, and friendly host of keepwriting.com. Read more tips on the Ask Dr. Format page.
LOOK WHO’S TALKING
QUESTION
What is the proper format to use for an animal that makes animal sounds, but who also talks? For example: A dog barks, then in a human voice says, "Hey, cut that out!"
ANSWER
Animal sounds should be written as narrative description. That's because only words are considered to be dialogue. Thus, you would write your example as follows.
Sparky barks, and then speaks in English.
SPARKY
Hey, cut that out!
I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM
QUESTION
How does one write non-conversational vocal sounds, like screams? Are they written as action [narrative description]? Or are they placed under a character's name [as in the example below]?
LORI
(screams)
How about this:
LORI
Yaaarrrrrgh!
ANSWER
Screams, yelps, and such are sounds, and should be written as narrative description. Dialogue consists of spoken or shouted words only. The following is correct.
Lori screams.
Notice that I did not write the sound (screams) in CAPS. You may CAP important sounds if you wish, but it is no longer necessary in spec writing.
PARENTHETICAL ACTION
QUESTION
I have been told that I cannot end a dialogue block with an action as shown below. Is that true?
GERTIE
I'm going to make you hurt.
(smiling with devilish
delight).
ANSWER
You have been told correctly. You should not end a dialogue block with an action. You can handle this situation in one of two ways.
GERTIE
(smiling with devilish
delight).
I'm going to make you hurt.
Or--
GERTIE
I'm going to make you hurt.
She smiles with devilish delight.
Or sometimes you can get away with breaking the rules.
DIALOGUE IS DIALOGUE
QUESTION
I have a scene where a character discovers a journal and reads an entry from it. Since it's not really up to me whether the character reads the entry aloud or if the actual entry is displayed on screen, how should I format this in the script?
ANSWER
Before I answer the question, let me make two points. First, don't be ambiguous in a screenplay. Write what we see and hear. Either the character reads the journal out loud or the audience reads it silently—you decide in the screenplay. Yes, the director may change what you wrote later, but at least give him or her a vision of what you see.
Second, only dialogue is dialogue. You can only write in dialogue words that are spoken, shouted, or whispered.
Now, in answer to your question, I see two ways to approach this formatting problem.
If the journal entry is very short, you might consider allowing the audience to read it. Use the INSERT for that.
INSERT - NATASHA'S JOURNAL, which reads:
"I love Boris, but I plan to leave
him for Fearless Leader."
(By the way, here is how you indent using Movie Magic Screenwriter: Select the "Action" element. Then click on "Format" on the top toolbar and then "Cheat" and "Element" (F3). Select the margins you want (2.5 on the left and 2.5 on the right.)
If the journal entry is longer, then perhaps your character can read it to the audience.
Boris tiptoes into Natasha's room, spots her journal, and turns to the last page. His eyes soften.
NATASHA (V.O.)
I love Boris, but I plan to leave
him for Fearless Leader. Why?
His silly mustache tickles me.
As you can see, all of this month's questions have to do with writing dialogue and writing action that is connected with dialogue. I hope your dialogue brings you a lot of action.